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First off, this is the strangest situation I've found myself in regarding workplace behavior. I am a 43 year old guy working as an RN for the Federal govt (VA). Within the past several weeks, a former coworker, who is now in a different clinic within the hospital has come on to the unit and greeted me as "Girl." It's escalated to the point where it's in front of people, and of course it draws a few laughs. I can't stand it, I find it demeaning,and an attempt to humiliate me in front of others. The most recent incident occurred two days ago. Said coworker changed my name on our assignment board to "lil girl." Naturally, I was ready to fly off at this point and went looking for her to lay into her. Of course she had already had gone home
I honestly don't understand the reason for this. I'm a 6'1, 225 lb guy with a family, so I can't really think any shred of me that resembles a female. I have begun to document occurrences and I have someone who will more than likely witness for me if I decide to use the chain of command in management. If it's not resolved by management, I have the option to file an EO complaint, but I'd really prefer to be left alone to do my job without name calling/harassment etc.
If anyone has any experience in this, or could even shed some insight as to why this person wants to carry on with this type of behavior, please chime in.
Naturally, I was ready to fly off at this point and went looking for her to lay into her.
I think you may have some underlying issues, no offense, that you need to deal with, if you are going to go seek out and explode on a female co-worker over a little incident such as that. I wonder what you mean by laying into her. That is not cool losing your temper and control over something so trivial.
I personally would find it bothersome and demeaning also. Does she have anything against you? Does she have "pet names" for anyone else? Maybe she was trying to be funny. Maybe you're so masculine it's almost like calling a giant "Tiny". People have weird ways of thinking sometimes. Anyways if you haven't already I'd tell her politely to stop calling you that. If she continues bring it to HR, or whoever you feel most comfortable with. You shouldn't have to put up with that BS because it is harassment if you feel uncomfortable and she knows you feel that way. No excuse for that behavior.
I think you may have some underlying issues, no offense, that you need to deal with, if you are going to go seek out and explode on a female co-worker over a little incident such as that. I wonder what you mean by laying into her. That is not cool losing your temper and control over something so trivial.
And going to management with this? Really?
HR is not your friend.
wait, so you think he's unreasonable for not wanting to be treated this way? he's venting on an online forum.. And to the OP - i would bring this up to your supervisor; if you made a comment that could be considered racist or some other discriminatory term to a female you would be fired in a heart beat. Don't let her get away with this
wait, so you think he's unreasonable for not wanting to be treated this way? he's venting on an online forum.. And to the OP - i would bring this up to your supervisor; if you made a comment that could be considered racist or some other discriminatory term to a female you would be fired in a heart beat. Don't let her get away with this
I see the point that he is offended, everyone is different
.
But I am disturbed by the way he tried to hunt down the coworker that write in the board. What was he going to do? He is full of hostility and anger.
And as person above mentioned, why doesn't he approach the offenders in a professional manner first instead of being a ticking time bomb
first, tell this person to stop but in a non-confrontational way
second, document everything
third bring it to the attention of your nurse manager. he/she can't do anything if they don't know about it. i can't tell you how many times people would bring issues to me stating something had been going on for months. it's hard to stop issues when you don't know about them. employees are very good at keeping their passive-aggressive tendencies in check when managers are around.
fourth, if you get no satisfaction see your steward.
another option is to bring a steward with you when you meet with your nurse manager combining 3 and 4 above.
It sucks that people are so afraid of confrontation that they would rather plot some kind of passive-aggressive revenge plot rather than speak constructively. Maybe this coworker thinks you don't mind. Maybe they think you like the joking around. Maybe they're just mean. Who knows?
I'm 100% sure I do things that irritate people (yes, you do too). But how do I know unless they tell me?
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