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I recently accepted a position with an organization that I am excited to work with. I really like what we do and I like most of the people I work with.
However, our supervisor is a very difficult person. He has good days and bad days, but even on his good days he can be very rude and insensitive. On his bad days I try to avoid him as much as I possibly can.
At first I thought I was the only one having this trouble, and that he was only disrespecting and insensitive towards me because I was the new hire and am still learning the job. Even though I felt his actions were not right, I tolerated it. But the other day several of us (employees who work under him) were discussing our feelings and it came out that we all felt the same way. Instead of going to our supervisor for help or guidance, for example, we all were either going to each other or just letting things go undone because we didn't want to deal with him.
Some of the things he does and expressions he uses:
- You go to him with a question and he responds with "I don't care!" in a rude voice, also motioning with his hands like "go away".
- You ask him how to do something with a certain software/program we have to use for work, and he shakes his head a "tsks" you and walks away laughing, leaving you standing there still unsure of how to do whatever it was you needed to do.
- I have a disability and he was made fully aware of this prior to my being hired. Yet, he stills refuses to accommodate me. Once, when I brought it up, he replied, "Well this is very frustrating for me!" Specifically, I am partially deaf. He was speaking to me but not looking at me, and when I asked him to please repeat what he said, he goes, "What, am I speaking Spanish?" in a really rude tone.
- Once a customer brought in a huge amount of food. This happens from time to time where we work. Usually when I or other people accept these gifts we all share. But our supervisor accepted the food one day and took all the food back to his office, and then came and asked me to come to his office. He sat there for five minutes opening up all the food and showing me what "he" was given. He didn't share it with anyone.
- He is constantly showing me pictures of what he looked like when he was younger. He goes, "See, I didn't used to be fat." And he blames his weight gain on his new 18 year-old wife.
- He does this annoying thing where he will make a big deal about a certain job getting done, so we work hard to get the job done, and then he never checks back in to make sure we got the job done. When someone lets him know, "Hey, just FYI we did that thing you asked us to do." He responds with, "Oh, I wasn't really serious you didn't have to do that." or, "That wasn't a big deal you shouldn't have wasted time doing that." This has us feeling like we don't really need to take his assignments that he gives us seriously at all. But then if he asks us to do something, and we don't do it, we are being subordinate and others worry that it would give him grounds to fire someone.
I could go on with more examples but I'll stop there... just writing all this out has me feeling stressed.
Wow - what a nut job. First thing that comes to mind is document. It would be helpful if others if also - but I would make sure I had plenty before asking anyone else to do so.
Who is over this guy - and are they around anywhere?
The 18 yr old wife was a red flag. How old is this guy? I am thinking he is over 30, if in a supervisory role (maybe not).
Document it and prepare to look for another job. Avoid doing anything that would get you fired - you want to be able to collect unemployment - and don't quit unless you have another job ready to go.
Lunatics like this don't change and they are everywhere these days. I have no idea why so many companies tolerate this type of complete dysfunction in their management staff and, at the same time, will not tolerate the slightest slip-up from the "worker bees." The reality is that 1 bad manager, like this one, can do far more damage far faster than any single "worker bee" can, yet nobody seems to care.
The COO at my most recent place of employment (a small, failing machine shop), was a long-time buddy of the CEO, which explains in that case why nothing was ever done about him. Unfortunately, he's a lunatic and is pretty much solely responsible for running the place into the ground. Some of his defining actions include:
1) Picking Fights: He's a master at turning every interaction into a confrontation that is one step short of physical violence - getting right up in your face and screaming at you is par for the course with him. He is always angry, all the time, and he loves to pick fights, shout over people, and treat everyone like trash. On two occasions years before I worked there, former employees have actually tried to kill him, and (sadly) I can see why that happened since the only way he knows how to interact with others is literally by pushing them to the point of putting a fist through his face.
2) Ignoring all facts and reason: It's bad enough that he's an angry, hate-filled sociopath who picks fights, but he also has no interest in reality. He honestly believes that screaming at people will make the work get done faster, and that he can grossly underbid jobs and somehow, perhaps by the power of his screaming, the work will suddenly get done much faster this time... even though that's not possible. His constant underbidding of jobs is part of why the place is doomed. By underbidding everything, the place lost money on nearly every job, and the company then ended up looking inept to our customers because we were late on everything. If he had just listened to those under him and used the data he had, he could have correctly bid the jobs, but he chose not to do that.
3) Lacking common sense or business skills: This idiot not only turned the office into a hell-hole and ignored reality, but he has less business sense than a rusted bucket. Among other things, he threw out trusted sub-contractors in 2013 and replaced them with "cheaper" ones... who proceeded to screw up everything they touched. Gee, maybe that's why they are cheaper - because they have no clue what they are doing or are also grossly underbidding their work - irony! He also derailed production for months so we could satisfy a "new customer" who was really the exact same person who scammed the company out of a fortune years ago. Here's how the scam went: this outside customer came to the company with a devil's deal - we'd build a pile of prototype parts at a huge loss, but we'd then be given a whole bunch of great contracts. I think we all know what happens next - we built the parts, lost the money, but never got the contracts. That would be bad enough, except when the same guy showed up in 2013 with the SAME devil's bargain, this idiot COO fell for it - again! Surprise, surprise - after wasting a ton of money and letting 6+ months pass, as of January of this year, the parts still weren't ready and we hadn't been paid for any of them... and none of those "big contracts" came through, either.
Idiots like this are immune to common sense and reason, and many of them have no empathy or humanity. In his case, the hapless CEO trusted him completely to run the place - since they are old buddies - and now the company is circling the drain since he placed everything in the hands of a vile, hate-filled, angry idiot who isn't qualified to run a lemonade stand.
Idiot managers are everywhere, and they don't change. It sounds like your situation is somewhat similar to mine, though your idiot manager is a passive-aggressive manipulative type vs. the screaming, fight-picking type. Either way, the problem will probably not be resolved, and anyone who calls people into their office to show off the free, surplus food they were given - and then not share it with anyone - is a basket case.
Good luck and be prepared to get out.
Last edited by Rambler123; 02-19-2014 at 12:29 PM..
Try to stay unemotional as possible. It's hard to pick on someone who doesn't emotionally respond to it, kinda puts out the fire in the situation, or dampens it at least--placing it back in their corner. But, I wouldn't work for such a %$#^. I'd be looking for another job.
I've had bosses that have had a good collection of these (or similar) traits.
First, I'm glad it's not just you. At least you know 100% that the problem is him and not you.
You only have a couple of options here:
1. Look for a new job -- I know you're excited to work for this organization, but working under this supervisor is likely going to get you nowhere fast in terms of promotions or a switch to a new department, unless you really stick it out for a long time.
2. Hope he quits/gets fired/reassigned -- In my experience, I've found this to be not likely. Organizations that allow management such as this to continue are unlikely to fire/re-assign, and if he's found a management position, he's unlikely to quit.
3. Look to how your co-workers, particularly the long-term ones, manage their workload around his attitude. The best way to learn how to deal with someone like this is to see how people who have been at the job much longer than you deal with it.
I'd also document everything, just because you don't know when/if that will come in handy. Write down events, save pertinent emails/voicemails, etc.
I know you really like the organization, and I'm sorry to tell you this, but unless you're able to transfer departments or he leaves his position, your best bet here is going to be to leave.
Document incidents. A good way to ignore his behavior while addressing real work concerns at hand is to ignore any insults, any childish behavior, and anything that seems like he's picking a fight. Always redirect him to the ACTUAL issue. If it's about getting a project through and he wants to keep showing you pictures of his wife (poor woman!), redirect him by saying, "That's nice, so about this project deadline..." or something along those lines.
As the others said, document, document, document. He sounds like an utter jerk.
About your disability: I assume you are in the USA? I would suggest you get a letter from your doctor, audiologist, etc. documenting your disability. It is best if this letter also states specific, reasonable accommodations. (e.g. Facing you when speaking to you.) You then give this letter to HR. Then, per the Americans with Disabilities Act, your company must allow you reasonable accommodations. I would definitely make a copy of the letter before you give it to HR and, because I'm not a trusting sort with HR, I would have them sign something saying you gave the letter to them.
If you were in a wheelchair, your boss could not refuse to have the wheelchair ramp shoveled after a snowstorm because it was inconvenient to him. For the same reason, he can't refuse to make reasonable accommodations for your hearing impairment. I'd suggest continuing to be as polite as possible when you remind him, of course. Hopefully, HR will help him understand this is not a choice.
Not following the ADA is a Big Deal. Each state has a commission of some sort that oversees such things. In mine, it's called the Human Rights Commission. If it would help you feel more confident standing up for your rights, call them and talk to them. The Labor Board in your state might also be helpful. It doesn't make sense to make a formal complaint at this point - you want to try to work it out with them first. But since this guy seems utterly full of himself, you definitely want to document your disability & reasonable accommodations so he can't try to fire you for being so "annoying" because you keep having to ask him to repeat himself. Etc.
Don't go to him for any questions...ask a co worker instead (like you have been). Don't worry if things get left undone...if he questions you about it, tell him it's because you have no one to ask, (or guide you sometimes) when you need it. Let him understand just how unapproachable he is. Other than that I'd just keep on "tolerating" him...what else can you do?..I sure wouldn't show NO interest in his pictures, and I'd flat out tell him so too.
Sorry you've got this %4#7# to deal with...it can make life difficult at times...just don't let him get you down.
I would say you and the several co-workers that agreed on this document everything for the next couple months. Then have a talk with him. He will probably do a denial routine (you are over-reacting; I did not mean it that way...sorry if you misunderstood, etc). Then take it to his manager. Does the manager want to alienate one person who is rude, inconsiderate and unpredictable? Or does the manager want to alienate several hard working people on the team instead? The answer is obvious to us, but nothing would surprise me and at least you and others would be trying to do something about it. Everything seems fine about this place except for that particular supervisor.
Second best: Look for another position in a better environment.
Or you can go the "coping" route as some have suggested and be walking on eggshells IMO the duration of your remaining employment there. This is the worst option IMO.
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