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It works both ways, managers may let parents leave for a child related thing seemingly without complaint because people are supposed to support parents, but they often secretly resent it, especially if it happens a lot. My previous career was in HR and people who take time for parenting will get lower raises, and never get promoted over a person who doesn't do this. I think the workplace would be much better if everyone were given more flexibility (whenever possible) to take care of their life, parents, both mothers and fathers could spend more time with their children, and non parents could enjoy their own activities.
As long as everyone gets their work done, does it really matter if every single person is sitting at their desk at exactly 8-5 every day? The workplace is still governed by outdated rules. This can be difficult on women because they are almost always the ones leaving for the child's doctor appointment, and sacrificing promotions so the father can stay at work and get the promotion. If everyone had more flexibility fathers could be more involved and child free people could pursue interesting outside interests that can make them happier/better workers. People who enjoy their lives are going to make better workers.
I have to say, none of the men I work with who are parents ever come in late or leave early. I never see them taking time off last minute or unexpectedly.
That because the mother is doing it, and sacrificing her potential advancement so the father doesn't hurt his career. That's a big reason I advocate EVERYONE be given some flexibility if the job allows for it, which most do these days. Parents should be able to split parenting tasks more equally so both can achieve at work and be good parents, and child free people should be able to have their own interests that make them happier people, and usually better workers.
And what about my coworker who had 2 toddlers at home. You could hear her arguing with her nanny on the phone -- it got very heated, and then she fired the nanny. Oh the phone. While her kids were still with the nanny. After she hung up, she realized that she had better get home very quickly! Now that's just plain stupidity!!
This would be hilarious if it weren't so pathetically stupid.
Just curious as to what you guys thought about this:
Do you think single, childless people have it tougher in the workplace than those who have a family to look after?
For example, when there is a school holiday that is not a company holiday, I always see people taking the day off to be with their kid.
Or if their kid has a sports activity, play, ballet recital, anything like that, and they say, "Hey, I'm leaving early today to go to my kid's activity," It's viewed as, "Awww, what a good parent. Go for it."
I don't have kids or a wife so I never get to go to anything like that. I'm at work all day, every day, with no excuses. Don't get me wrong, I never complain about it or anything like that, and I do what work needs to be done.
I just think it's ironic that if I went to my supervisor and said, "Hey my friend's band is playing at this concert hall this afternoon, so I thought I would take off a bit early and go see it." He would be like, "What? No you're not."
Whereas if one of the moms or dads said, "Hey, my daughter has a concert recital at school this afternoon, so I'm going to duck out early to attend it." It would be just fine.
...it's the opposite and only two things happen:
A) Your boss can relate and gives the mother slack
B) The mom will get fired if she can't fulfill her duties then sue for being discriminated against.
Most corporations are accommodating to mothers and it annoys the hell out of people who don't have much “responsibility”. Moms get perks while everyone else do not.
If you have no kids, no room for error period. For the most part that is true, thus the parent will always have more leeway than the person who has no responsibility other than his/her job. Moreover, it’s no secret that most men….hmmm how should I put it, find it unappealing to see a mother working 10hrs+ instead of taking care of her kids. Gender roles, discrimination against women, read a book for the rest, have fun.
1. All my sick days/PTO are because I'm sick, or I need time off - not my kid.
2. Get paid the same as a coworker with a child, but my paycheck goes to expensive beer, tailored shirts, tuning parts for my car, the occasional vacation, guitars, and other unncessary crap for myself, rather than boxes of Hot Pockets, new clothes for growing kids, increased healthcare cost, etc.
3. I don't view rushing home, to school, or to the doctor's through traffic, leaving a pile of unfinished work on the desk that I'll have to finish tomorrow on top of that day's activities as particularly advantageous.
4. When it comes to promotions, I'm the guy who can walk in the door, be told he needs to fly up to SF or over to NYC to handle something and will simply nod, go "Okay" and take 45 minutes to pack three days of stuff an jump on a plane. I've never had to duck out of or cancel a business meeting because of an emergency with my kid. They can't legally discriminate because someone has kids, but they can look at someone's record of reliability.
All told, IMHO, the working world these days isn't really set up for parents, and it's too bad - that's part of the reason we have so many problems with education, truancy, a total erosion of politness and manners and decorum in this society... so, no, I don't feel discriminated against or at a disadvanage as a single, childless male.
Just curious as to what you guys thought about this:
Do you think single, childless people have it tougher in the workplace than those who have a family to look after?
Nope. I don't. I have responsibilities too. Mine are just as important as theirs. The difference is that I don't owe any of my peers an explanation, nor do I feel the need to announce to the department, why I'm leaving. The only person who needs to know is my boss.
People who make public announcements, do so, because they feel guilty, and that's how they justify what they do.
I am single and always try to work the holidays just because I am single and its always at least double time for the holidays. Plus I feel a parent should be home with their kid for X-mas break. I don't know about anybody else but we can schedule PTO up to 12 months in advance come January 1st. We are only allowed two people off at the same time. You really wanna see some pissed off parents here is a sure fire way to achieve that goal. a single coworker scheduled his two weeks off for Christmas and the two weeks in April most kids have their "spring break" he refused to cancel his plans because he scheduled the vacation before them. he also knew one lucky parent will get the time off besides him. I suspect he did it out of spite but i am really not sure. Man it really left the bossman who approved his vacation in a pickle!! I saw firsthand how this parent was livid they could not have the week off with their child too. they pranced around blaming the single co worker for months trying to give him the guilt trip and rescind his PTO The best was they still called in "sick" 4 out of 5 days Xmas and "SpringBreak" Week. It did not surprise anyone but it did put the workload on everyone else including the parents who were responsible enough to come to work. As fate would have it management laid the parent off when the cut backs came around and i truly believe this incident had a lot to do with it. IMHO my work is fair everyone gets the same PTO and uses as they so choose. I get at to go on at least two 2 week vacations every year and then some which leaves me a happy camper! Most parents are luck to have enough PTO left to take the kids to Disney work for a week in the summer after the snow/sick/emergency/doctors appt's days due to their kids needs.
^total BS. So according to your co worker, getting the time off to be with their kids over Christmas break is more important than me scheduling that time to go back home and see my family for Christmas? Oh wait, family = spouse + kids, nothing else, I keep forgetting. Eff that noise, I'm glad your boss didn't back down.
^total BS. So according to your co worker, getting the time off to be with their kids over Christmas break is more important than me scheduling that time to go back home and see my family for Christmas? Oh wait, family = spouse + kids, nothing else, I keep forgetting. Eff that noise, I'm glad your boss didn't back down.
Agreed. Anyone who would expect someone to cancel their properly asked for, and scheduled vacation plans, and then went around whining about it and calling in sick deserved to be the one laid off.
I feel for working parents, but no one gets to say their life is more important than anyone else's. All employees have lives, being a parent doesn't automatically make your life and needs more important than your co-workers. If a parent asks nicely, and is willing to return the favor, they will probably find their coworkers will be happy to do whatever they can to help them, but any parent who just expects it, as though a child free person's needs don't matter are asking to be resented.
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After she hung up, she realized that she had better get home very quickly! Now that's just plain stupidity!!
