Rude bride or rude guest? (appropriate, shower, date, parties)
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This story gave me a flashback of a wedding I recently attended.... I didn't give enough $ as a gift and the bride won't talk to me anymore.
I would hope brides invite people to their weddings that they care about, not solely hoping to make money off of people. That's what jobs are for. Those brides were not very kind... and in a text message? Yikes.
I wouldn't have given this as a wedding gift, but as the recipient, I could've easily made use of it, sometimes even moreso than as vase or a picture that isn't our style.
My view is that a gift is a gift, it's not something you're entitled to, nor do you get to dictate what form it comes in. An invite to a wedding is simply that, it's not an event that requires an admission ticket. I also believe that you always thank a person for a gift, no matter what you really think of it. That's what good manners dictates, not the cost and type of gift to be dictated by the recipient. Since when did a wedding become a fundraiser to fleece your family and friends?
I would tell the happy couple to stick it where the sun don't shine. Unbelievable.
I used to sell Tupperware. I gave a lot of Tupperware as gifts.... mostly the bigger items like cake takers, or a mixing bowl with measuring cups/spoons. The brides always expressed their thanks for the gift. I hate to think I was out of line!
My late mother in law got roped into a Tupperware party and bought me a set of measuring cups and spoons.... and I still use those things after 32 years. I adore them. I had a meltdown when the one cup measure got ruined (hubby melted it by accident) but went on Ebay and found another set.
There's just some things that become indispensable -- those cups and spoons -- and this horrid brown Rubbermaid mixing bowl I got for a shower party gift? I use it practically EVERY DAY.... Ugly as sin, but does it's job perfectly.
This story gave me a flashback of a wedding I recently attended.... I didn't give enough $ as a gift and the bride won't talk to me anymore.
I would hope brides invite people to their weddings that they care about, not solely hoping to make money off of people. That's what jobs are for. Those brides were not very kind... and in a text message? Yikes.
Generally I agree that is rude, but in some instances I do kind of understand her view. For example family friends got married and one cousin decided to bring his wife, three kids, two spouses of the kids, and their kids. I think it was a total of 10 people. They make good money too. Guess how much they gave? $25 no kidding. The bride and groom were livid because they didn't invite all these people, the family brought them anyway (they were from out of town). I would also understand if say the couple invited has a lot of money and are very cheap. One couple at a relative's wedding were both lawyers and gave $20 and another couple gave nothing though both have good jobs.
The bride was rude. I would not have appreciated that gift but I wouldn't have said so.
I think people should stick to the registry or give money. I don't see how some people think they know what a person would want when that is what the registry is for.
Generally I agree that is rude, but in some instances I do kind of understand her view. For example family friends got married and one cousin decided to bring his wife, three kids, two spouses of the kids, and their kids. I think it was a total of 10 people. They make good money too. Guess how much they gave? $25 no kidding. The bride and groom were livid becausethey didn't invite all these people, the family brought them anyway (they were from out of town). I would also understand if say the couple invited has a lot of money and are very cheap. One couple at a relative's wedding were both lawyers and gave $20 and another couple gave nothing though both have good jobs.
Most of the weddings that I attended had assigned seating at the dinner. Did all of these people bring their own card tables and chairs into the reception hall and demand food?
Sorry, but in this case the bride and groom (and if needed, their parents) should have said "I'm sorry, Cousin John, you (and your wife) are invited to the wedding but your three children, two daughters-in-law and grandchildren are not invited". The guests were pretty clueless, but the wedding couple should have been more firm. It would have been wrong even if all of those people had given a large monetary gift. The small wedding gift just made it more wrong.
Most of the weddings that I attended had assigned seating at the dinner. Did all of these people bring their own card tables and chairs into the reception hall and demand food?
Sorry, but in this case the bride and groom (and if needed, their parents) should have said "I'm sorry, Cousin John, you (and your wife) are invited to the wedding but your three children, two daughters-in-law and grandchildren are not invited". The guests were pretty clueless, but the wedding couple should have been more firm. It would have been wrong even if all of those people had given a large monetary gift. The small wedding gift just made it more wrong.
As it turns out the reception hall had more tables as needed and several guests were no shows anyway. I too normally go to weddings with assigned seating myself. From what I understand they just showed up.
Generally I agree that is rude, but in some instances I do kind of understand her view. For example family friends got married and one cousin decided to bring his wife, three kids, two spouses of the kids, and their kids. I think it was a total of 10 people. They make good money too. Guess how much they gave? $25 no kidding. The bride and groom were livid because they didn't invite all these people, the family brought them anyway (they were from out of town). I would also understand if say the couple invited has a lot of money and are very cheap. One couple at a relative's wedding were both lawyers and gave $20 and another couple gave nothing though both have good jobs.
I agree too that it depends on the situation; however I attended the wedding by myself (no guest with me), didn't really eat much at the reception, and gave a nice present during the shower in addition to the cash at the wedding. I almost feel like the bride was just wanting gifts and not to spend her special day with family and friends.
I agree too that it depends on the situation; however I attended the wedding by myself (no guest with me), didn't really eat much at the reception, and gave a nice present during the shower in addition to the cash at the wedding. I almost feel like the bride was just wanting gifts and not to spend her special day with family and friends.
Then it definitely was rude of her. I don't know if this is a set rule but to me if someone goes single they shouldn't have to give the same as a couple. For example if the going rate is $100 then a single person should be able to just give $50. I would also take shower gifts in consideration, like if you spent $100 instead for a gift instead of $25. Obviously these numbers are examples. What I would also take in consideration is the financial of the person, for example if I invited an unemployed friend or relative I wouldn't expect nor would I want more, I'd be happy they were there.
WHere in the world did you come up with a "going rate" for a wedding gift? People give what they can afford, and honestly etiquette does not even say that you have to bring a gift to a wedding. A gift is required if you are invited to the shower and it is optional at the wedding.
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