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In fact, we are not expected to turn in this form until Enrollment day. I just sent a copy ahead of time but will have one with me on that day too. They will not make any placement decisions until after the county-wide Enrollment day (which is July 27th). We were going to disclose the dx on that day. In the meantime, I had my doubts and had to arm myself with information so I can understand what on Earth I am doing.
Now that I know more, we will discuss what needs discussing on Enrollment day when they will also do a screening. That is when such information would be expected anyway. I should mention that he already went through a K screening in May, in Massachusetts, at the time when we were still not 100% sure that the relocation was going to take place. This was in the "fabulous town, with the fabulous school district" that LeavingMassachusetts was talking about earlier (yes, that was a very good school district but that didn't change the fact that the area was simply a bad fit for us in many other ways, having nothing to do with schooling; but that's off topic). Well, I don't know exactly what they did with him inside but when he came out, the teacher was beaming and she said "you have an incredibly lovely child here".
He CAN come across that way at first sight. (Later, when you realize he is the epitome of self-centered-ness, the enthusiasm can dwindle).
So it is clear no school is going to find anything "unusual" (in a negative way) about him at a preliminary screening. They will have to find out from us.
A screening for special education is not the same as one for kindergarten readiness. It takes longer - ours were generally 1 to 2 hours. The staff who see the child are usually trained in special ed and are a team. We had a psychologist, a speech therapist and an OT from the school looking at my grandson at the first evaluation.
They also sit down with parents and get whatever paperwork the parents want to provide from the medical dx. They usually interview the parents about what problems they think the child might have in the classroom as well.
The screening, however, focuses on possible classroom and educational difficulties, so they may come to a different conclusion from the doctors. They are looking to see if the child needs an IEP or accommodations in the classroom or school setting.
Do you mind if I asked you which one struck you most that way - from what I described? When I talk to family, they often say: you exaggerate, he's still very young, you expect way too much at this age, he's just a child, he's perfectly normal.
But then I read whatever, and the conclusion is: they should not be doing x, they should be doing y instead. Or something like that.
As for these quirks being "perfectly normal for him"...well, I firmly believe that this world does not care what is perfectly normal for YOU as long as your normality does not coincide with "hers". We may pretend that it doesn't matter, but the world will never cease to remind us that it does.
If most people in this world to X and you end up doing Y, what you do is ABNORMAL. The definition of normality has to do with what the majority does.
Most children with Asperger's do nothing that has not been done by other, neurotypical, children. The difference is in degree, duration, and intensity.
For instance, many children are afraid of loud noises. Most do not-- as a small Aspie of my acquaintance did-- clap their hands over their ears and sit, keening, in fetal position for hours when the lawn service makes their weekly visit. (One learns quickly to be gone from 12-2 every Wednesday, and to explain to the lawn service why they will rue the day if they ever come outside that window.)
If I were you, I would call and hopefully visit the school to get more information firsthand about the services provided and the teachers that provide them. At my daughter's current school, I met with the teacher who ended up being her main intervention teacher/therapist, and I knew I wanted her help when I met with her. You will get much more helpful information by doing your homework at the school your child will attend. All schools are different, and different teachers have different philosophies. If the school has summer hours, see if you can visit. Be open with them about your questions. The teachers are there to help and are not your enemy. Most teachers have seen a large variety of problems and concerns, and you certainly will not be the first parent who is worried. Try to relax--Kindergarten is still just kindergarten. I also must say the "friend" exchange was interesting to me. At my youngest child's preschool, they encouraged all the kids to call each other "friends." I thought it was the cutest thing ever. Kids are funny when they say things that are awkward or out of step with what adults will say. Nearly all kids do that, and I've never seen a kindergarten student jump on another kid for something like that!
At my youngest child's preschool, they encouraged all the kids to call each other "friends." I thought it was the cutest thing ever. Kids are funny when they say things that are awkward or out of step with what adults will say. Nearly all kids do that, and I've never seen a kindergarten student jump on another kid for something like that!
Of course, not in K. Not even in 1st grade.
Because NT kids themselves at that age don't have the capacity to process that saying "come on, friend, let's go play" in a matter-of-fact way - is a breach of child culture.
But keep this up - and they will; and then all Hell will break lose.
Of course, not in K. Not even in 1st grade.
Because NT kids themselves at that age don't have the capacity to process that saying "come on, friend, let's go play" in a matter-of-fact way - is a breach of child culture.
But keep this up - and they will; and then all Hell will break lose.
Truly, all hell does not have to break lose. Children are actually very accepting of each other when they are allowed to be, especially in the early grades.
It is actually becoming more common for even older kids to accept kids with disabilities without *pitying* them or treating them as if they were not able to be friends.
If the school has a culture of acceptance, the kids will learn that.
Children are actually very accepting of each other when they are allowed to be, especially in the early grades.
So very true. It's a shame some adults get in the way and teach discrimination. It's rare that young children see differences - it's usually the adults that do.
I read of an 8 year old girl with Down syndrome who passed away last year. So many of her little friends wanted to go to her wake that the funeral parlor was packed. Her mother was deeply touched but one upsetting aspect was that some of the children's parents acted surprised by the turnout. Needless to say, that was very hurtful to the mother.
I haven't had time to read other replies to your post. What I would tell you is no, a school cannot force you to accept a placement without your consent. This is a slippery slope if you do not have an IEP for your child. If you do have an IEP, the placement decision is an IEP decision. Also, the discussion of LRE would seem that your son would absolutely require a gen. ed. setting.
The questions you ask would likely be in the Georgia Special Education Regulations. You should go to the GDOE site and looks up your state regs. Don't always count on schools giving you accurate information. If they do give you advice or direction ask for what they tell you in writing. Without documentation to support their information, I wouldn't trust what your'e told.
Unfortunately, if you learn the regs and read IDEA you will find that many schools do the minimum for your kid, if that, without a battle from you, the parent. Schools also do not have a child's best interests at heart. They have their bottom line and budget at heart. I stand by that 100 percent.
Quote:
Originally Posted by syracusa
As I mentioned in another thread, we are currently torn about disclosing our son's recent Asperger dx at the age of 5 1/2 to his school.
He will start K in the Fall in the state of Georgia, in what is considered one of Georgia's best public school districts.
Our psychologist concluded that he has a mild AS form and that he is also very intelligent, especially when it comes to his verbal abilities, as well as academically advanced for the grade. In her report, she wrote that she recommends that my son "be placed in a regular classroom because of his many strengths".
For a long time after the diagnosis we felt that it would be best if we kept the dx private and let him start K without a label - just to see how things are going. Our biggest fear is that, if his behavior or performance in school become less than stellar in time, the school would be tempted to address any such problems with the Asperger dx in mind and recommend that he be placed in a Special Ed Class.
We know that this would be an absolutely UNACCEPTABLE solution for us. We are completely against encapsulating our child with other children with serious weaknesses that would only exacerbate his own, bringing out the worst in him. So Special Ed would be a complete NO-in absolute terms.
If it ever came to that (which nobody right now predicts that it would...but you never know), then we would have to home-school him - something we'd rather not do if we didn't have to.
This is the main reason why we had decided to have him start K without disclosing the dx to the school.
At the same time, we keep hearing about a variety of services/accommodations/help he MIGHT benefit from if the school knew about the dx. We would particularly appreciate some social skills guidance on site (where obviously we cannot be, as parents, on a day to day basis).
Although our son appears 100% normal, those who get to know him intimately figure out eventually that his social skills with age peers are not that great, he has attention issues and tends to respond in a delayed fashion to various commands.
Our final question would be: once the school has the dx in hand, could they ever start suggesting that it would be a good idea to place our son in a Special Ed class - for whatever reason?
I understood no school can legally FORCE parents to accept such placement. However, we all know that there are ways around "legality" and that practices such as putting parents between a rock and a hard spot can do the trick.
What would be the best place to get more information about our rights in this situation, for the state of GA?.
We have very recently become tempted to nevertheless disclose the dx to the school just to see what services he could benefit from (particularly things like "social skills groups", "pragmatics of language", etc). But we are terrified that once the Pandora Box is open, we would open the door to a possible placement-related war with the school later down the road, just in case our son turns out NOT TO have a perfectly smooth sail in school.
Had he been a NT child, we would be very excited about his K start right now, as he seems to be more than ready, strictly from an academic standpoint. Reads above grade level, writes full sentences, does some 2st grade math, etc. Most parents would only anticipate "roses and glory" in our situation, right now; but we're obviously not.
Knowing his social skill weakness, his attention problems and his somewhat delayed response to commands, all in the context of his recent dx, we are simply anxious, worried and heavy-hearted about his K start.
Not knowing what is the smartest/wisest thing to do abut disclosing or not disclosing his dx to the school - makes it even harder.
Thanks a lot for any info specifically related to the state of GA.
So very true. It's a shame some adults get in the way and teach discrimination. It's rare that young children see differences - it's usually the adults that do.
I read of an 8 year old girl with Down syndrome who passed away last year. So many of her little friends wanted to go to her wake that the funeral parlor was packed. Her mother was deeply touched but one upsetting aspect was that some of the children's parents acted surprised by the turnout. Needless to say, that was very hurtful to the mother.
My grandson has autism and is still pretty non-verbal. All the kindergarten children in his class took care of him last year. He will be in first grade in August, so we will have to see. A lot of the good things came from his K teacher. He had friends in that class despite his *weird* ways. He sometimes annoyed the kids, but they dealt with it kindly.
Syracusa has gotten some great input from parents who have walked down the iep road a long time. Simbochick nails it perfectly in her post and Syracusa wants to keep her head in the sand. We are a savvy group of parents here and yet Syracusa finds a way to dismiss our input that she solicited. I've seen this too many times. This is the same parent that years down the road will be begging for help when she sees that her child has no real life skills in spite of being borderline genius. Again, what good is high level mental math if your son cannot hold a job?
Quote:
Originally Posted by Zimbochick
OK Syracusa, here's my take on the situation, and honestly I already know you're not going to like what I have to say. I think you are an academic, maybe even a bit of an academic snob, and this diagnosis has really and truly taken you by surprise. Your dream of a brilliant, perfect child has been shattered, and you are going through the perfectly normally processes of dealing with this information. I think every parent feels this, regardless of how little or large the issue is. I suspect in your gut you already knew that something was awry, but hoped against all hope that it would be nothing more than a quirk. I suspect the reason you in fact did take your son for an assessment is because you knew this.
You should get a second, or third, or fourth opinion if that is what you need to inch you towards acceptance. You know what the county schools offer, and it is all available for perusal on their web site, but the reason you are asking the same questions over and over is because you are really struggling with accepting this diagnosis.
Obviously everyone deals with the diagnosis differently, and what you are feeling is totally normal. Depriving your son of services that could help him is not the right thing to do, but deep down you already know that. The county you are going into has great services available, and many children with AS are mainstreamed. If he needs more assistance, there are inclusion classes. And even more assistance gets you special ed. There is a great private school, for which you can get vouchers if your child qualifies, Mill Springs Academy.
There are vast resources out there, but first and foremost you need to decide if you are going to accept the diagnosis and give your son every opportunity available. This is not easy for anyone.
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