Nor Cal vs. So Cal (Petaluma, Mill Valley: apartment, movers, student loans)

[WannaBNorCal]

Please, this may seem silly, but I lived in the SF Bay area for a year, then in Sonoma County for three weeks, I now am back in So Cal, and am so sad, I want to go back to the Bay area, this may seem naive--have no idea where to start.
To get a place down here vs. moving, etc.
What to do?

Any suggestions and/or opinions would be helpful

[krudmonk]

Southern California is nice because this topic never comes up.

[Suzer]

I have been in a similar situation. My advice is to do whatever it takes to make it happen - and stick with it. Do you need help with anything in particular?

[WannaBNorCal]

Originally Posted by Suzer

I have been in a similar situation. My advice is to do whatever it takes to make it happen - and stick with it. Do you need help with anything in particular?

Thank you for responding.

My anxiety level is EXTREMELY high, due to a very long story that resulted me to move back to So Cal. I got accepted back to college down here for Jan. 2008, but not there, no job, I am unemployable, due to just having surgery.

I guess I need help really processing the fact that if I moved back there, I would be alone. Here, I have familiarity, a negative mom, and a brother with a big F, but it is a negative, anxiety-provoking living situation I am in, believe me, that's an understatement, and I don't know if maybe I can get in the solution and move to a place around here, it seems easier---you think? I visualize the movers, etc. if I decided to go back to SF....

Did that make sense? I would love to hear more opinions, this has really changed me in a way I can't even explain, as the days go on, I want to think about whether it's being back at my mother's house temporarily or really Southern California, that, frankly, maybe I have let go of, and that is increasing my anxiety, and stress......

I don't know....

[Lookout Kid]

Ever heard the Pavement song "Two States"?

[WannaBNorCal]

No, can I buy it at a music store, or what?
Would love to hear it!!!

Does it refer back to when they wanted to separate Nor and So Cal???

[danking27]

I'd say move back to the bay area...I've lived in the bay area my whole life and I couldnt be happier. I've been to LA a few times...I wouldnt mind living in LA either. Obviously since I've lived in the bay area my whole life, im gonna sound somewhat biased. Great areas...a variety of weather, SF is just amazing (although SF in general is somewhat cold and I'm pretty sure that SF is where the most fog is produced in the nation...I love fog so I do not care)..there's no other city like SF...water surrounded, 2 famous/beautiful bridges, insane high rise buildings (Financial District!, got a cousin that is moving in there today and loves it).

Basically everywhere you drive in the bay area is scenery. It is less congested...if you ever look on a map, look at the LA region and see how many cities and freeways are compacted...the bay area has 4 MAIN freeways, 2 run up the west side and 2 run up the east side. Random cities, great cities, hills, forests and trees, the beach, water is not far to get to.

Another thing I really like about this area is the fact that there's a bay with surrounding cities...it really helps to give you a general idea of where you area.

[LexusNexus]

Originally Posted by WannaBNorCal

Thank you for responding.

My anxiety level is EXTREMELY high, due to a very long story that resulted me to move back to So Cal. I got accepted back to college down here for Jan. 2008, but not there, no job, I am unemployable, due to just having surgery.

I guess I need help really processing the fact that if I moved back there, I would be alone. Here, I have familiarity, a negative mom, and a brother with a big F, but it is a negative, anxiety-provoking living situation I am in, believe me, that's an understatement, and I don't know if maybe I can get in the solution and move to a place around here, it seems easier---you think? I visualize the movers, etc. if I decided to go back to SF....

Did that make sense? I would love to hear more opinions, this has really changed me in a way I can't even explain, as the days go on, I want to think about whether it's being back at my mother's house temporarily or really Southern California, that, frankly, maybe I have let go of, and that is increasing my anxiety, and stress......

I don't know....

Sounds like your greatest fear is being alone. Stay down there and use your negative situation as motivation to do well enough in school to make yourself marketable up here. Having a goal like this in mind, such a positive vision, can allow you to endure. Create your own reality.

[Suzer]

I believe life is too short to live in toxic circumstances, but at the same time there are practical considerations.

Are you eligible for medical disability funds for the short term, while you heal? If so, that gives you a few more options until you can work again.

Have you applied for financial aid/scholarships, and looked in to colleges in the Bay Area that have dorms? Living in a dorm would help you meet many more people than being a commuter from class in SO Cal. to your crummy home situation. All you really need is to make one good friend, life gets much more bearable even when you are alone in an unfamiliar environment.

I longed for years to find the absolutely perfect circumstances to make my home permanently in the Bay Area. They never came. I learned from this experience that there are no perfect solutions. I believe in trusting your instincts, and carefully planning to achieve what you want. In every decision there is likely to be one or more negatives, but learning to appreciate your overall satisfaction with your decision will help you make critical decisions in the future.

The Bay Area is a special place. I believe there are people who instinctively know they have found home, and not just a place to live.

[WannaBNorCal]

Thanks so much for the posts, I really appreciate it.
The latest: I broke down today to a new friend I met there, up in Petaluma, maybe it was a good way to cleanse my soul.
danking27 - I totally get you! ...water surrounded, 2 famous/beautiful bridges, the 4 MAIN freeways are the 101, 880, 80, I'm missing one?
I had the opportunity to see Muir Woods, the Marin Headlands, China Camp beach (man that road is long!) Mill Valley had some beautiful Redwoods. We don't see that unless we go to the mountains, and then if the air is clear...you get my drift. I guess what's bothering me the most here lately, is the air, but we're having the fires too.. the traffic has irked me, the people in the malls have peeved me, but I may just be irritable, period. Many factors contributing here, imo. I felt small there, and in a good way, it taught me that I'm not "all that and a bag of chips", standing next to a Redwood looking up at it. *beautiful* I remember one night looking over the bay from Tiburon at the GG, and Sausaito, hills, etc., BEAUTIFUL!
All the best to your cousin.
RomaninSF - right now, yes I can admit, it seems that my biggest fear is being alone, I'm living with my family of origin, but gawd, I need some privacy and space, and I don't own the house. My mom suggested and was hoping I'd finish school then move back, because I would be more marketable, but those are her wishes, that's the thing. Does that make sense?
I gues it's the patience issue, can you please elaborate on your comment/suggestion, "Having a goal like this in mind, such a positive vision, can allow you to endure. Create your own reality."?
Suze - That's what I feel in my heart, that I found home. You decided to make your home up there or were you born and raised there may I ask? (I forgot to look to see if you put where you are from) I pulled a 'geographic' as I call them, to Portland, Oregon, Milton Freewater, never went back. I have $ from an inheritance, so I'm o.k. to pay the bills, for now.
Right now, in undergrad, I am almost $90,000 in student loans...
I was thinking about Sonoma state, my friend today suggested I could even take summer sessions there. My surgery was major and skipping a semester at school may not be a bad idea, what do you think? My hopes get high when I vision living in an on-campus or apartment-on campus-style living situation, I don't know if Sonoma has that--definately would not be alone there. It took me two days to get familar with Sonoma county, and a few months with Marin. I have attended 12 step meetings in the past, that could help me up there put myself out there to meet safe, healthy people, you know?
Right-I was told today to carefully plan if I do decide to move back. The U-Haul, driving up the 5 FRWY or the 101, etc....
I hope to take a risk, and know that only I can create my life, and no one can get in my way, only if I allow them too, even if it means breaking away from family to save my own sanity, you know? I would love to take my dog, but my mom says she's her's now, see the controling issues...
There is no 'grass is always greener', because it seems when we get that, there's something else, kind of like, "I'll be happy when....", then the when comes, and we (I speak for myself only) find something else that will make me happy "when", makes sense? lol


Thanks so much, I hope this thread continues, I'm sad, and stressed out in So Cal, should have chose that as my username, need a smoke break!