Nor Cal vs. So Cal

[ladysrodgers]

Originally Posted by WannaBNorCal

Yes - pretty much half of that.

Her medical bills that her insurance would not cover before her death - I covered. No one in my family had the money, I paid for it. Between the bills, her plot location, plot cost, casket, and flowers, and then some - yes, it took most of the money I was to use for my schooling. And on top of that, I had a co - pay on my last surgery to remove the cancer.

Now you have me curious. It's okay if you would rather not answer me, I'm just being nosey here......how exactly does one even qualify for $90k worth of student loans? Secondly, how do you afford your college and related costs, if you spent the money for that on something else?

I'm asking the second question because I have friends who have also spent money loaned to them "for the intention of being used on schooling," then ran short for college and never finished.

With all the places you have mentioned you've lived, you must already have some good skills?

Like I said, it's okay if you would rather not answer, I know it's kinda personal.

[WannaBNorCal]

Originally Posted by ladysrodgers

Now you have me curious. It's okay if you would rather not answer me, I'm just being nosey here......how exactly does one even qualify for $90k worth of student loans? Secondly, how do you afford your college and related costs, if you spent the money for that on something else?
I'm asking the second question because I have friends who have also spent money loaned to them "for the intention of being used on schooling," then ran short for college and never finished.
With all the places you have mentioned you've lived, you must already have some good skills?
Like I said, it's okay if you would rather not answer, I know it's kinda personal.

No problem, I don't mind answering. I took out loans for Junior College, a Medical Assisting program, school online via Eastern Oregon State University, and the college where I have been trying to earn my Bachelors. I took out loans for every program, in California, you hit a limit on availability for undergrad school loan money. And yes, I did pay for my college expenses, but they always give you more than you might need, so I took it, because I knew I would have expenses, Psychology textbooks aren't cheap. I'm not back at school yet, because of what you asked, I don't have the money, and I have had 3 laparoscopy surgeries to diagnose what I have. If I expect to have a roof over my head right now, I have to save what I do have. Tons of people really take advantage of school loans and use them on other things, but in addition to, and for, school. Once you sign that Promissory Note - there is no way of getting out of it, even if someone wanted to cheat the system and be totally irresponsible and file bankruptcy - nope no more - illegal. Talk about aimless and unstable....people do it, not me.
Student loans are mandatory pay back, unless you die of course.
Yep, I have a lot of great skills. I have skills in Medical Assisting/Nursing, grocery store cashiering, switchboard, drug and alcohol counseling, teaching, etc.

[TheStarLiesWest]

Sounds like me, with the varied work experience at least. I can see why you want to go back. Lately I've been reading more about SF. Once I get my BS in two and a half years jobs will be a little easier I hope. For now, I'm just crossing my fingers that I find a good position out there. It'll be hard. Who knows.

[mysticaltyger]

Originally Posted by WannaBNorCal

I know, the 90K in student loans is really high. I actually had to use half of that to bury my grandmother at her funeral.

Based on knowing several people who've experienced serious trauma in childhood (as you have per your other post) I would say you're probably a person who bites of waaaaay more than you can chew. Your other family members didn't have the money to pay for your grandmother's medical expenses & funeral, but neither did you. But you went in way over your head in debt to do it.

My observation is that this is the kind of stuff people who've experienced trauma do. They have a hard time with boundaries (like saying "I can't afford to do that"). Until you find a way to heal from the trauma of your childhood abuse, I don't think it will matter where you live. I think you'll keep re-creating chaotic/stressful/traumatic situations for yourself until you heal or until you are just phsycially ill and/or exhausted from it all. I wish I knew how to help you specifically, but I don't.

[WannaBNorCal]

Originally Posted by mysticaltyger

Based on knowing several people who've experienced serious trauma in childhood (as you have per your other post) I would say you're probably a person who bites of waaaaay more than you can chew. Your other family members didn't have the money to pay for your grandmother's medical expenses & funeral, but neither did you. But you went in way over your head in debt to do it.

My observation is that this is the kind of stuff people who've experienced trauma do. They have a hard time with boundaries (like saying "I can't afford to do that"). Until you find a way to heal from the trauma of your childhood abuse, I don't think it will matter where you live. I think you'll keep re-creating chaotic/stressful/traumatic situations for yourself until you heal or until you are just phsycially ill and/or exhausted from it all. I wish I knew how to help you specifically, but I don't.

I usually do bite off way more thanI can chew. I have problems with boundaries, period. A lot of people do - trying to find help for that.
Thanks for your post. It looks like I will be staying in So Cal for a while. I need to get more stable, and god willing - maybe I'll meet a nice guy, and find work that works for me and others. Now, where to choose in So Cal. I have heard nice things about Mission Viejo, Aliso Viejo, and San Clemente.
I'm trying to find posts on these in the forum. I've narrowed it down to those cities, based on my lifestyle, goals, and serenity.
Take care