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I am totally accepting of the majority of my life's goals albeit one. First marriage, but that was a long time ago and I had a wonderful second marriage, great children, financial and personal success. Nothing I can change about that marriage, only chalk it up as a regret.
No point in focusing on the disappointments in our life, especially those you can't change, rather be thankful for the achievements and personal satisfaction.
I am totally accepting of the majority of my life's goals albeit one. First marriage, but that was a long time ago and I had a wonderful second marriage, great children, financial and personal success. Nothing I can change about that marriage, only chalk it up as a regret.
No point in focusing on the disappointments in our life, especially those you can't change, rather be thankful for the achievements and personal satisfaction.
I think for the most part it's a matter of the road not taken and what you might have missed out on if you did take that route.
For me, I would have missed out on a lot more by not taking the road that I did take - my life has turned out well, I've kept my priorities in mind as I've gone and there isn't anything I would change now.
I once met a very attractive woman in a social group. She was married, unfortunately and I thought we had great chemistry. That group sort of dissolved and I lost all track of her. Then one day I got a phone call from someone asking why I had called. I guess I had butt dialed or something and once we had chatted a minute we realized who the other was. I still had her number from group things. Our cell phones were so basic that we could only see the number. So we took a stroll down memory lane and she said she'd been going through a tough time because she'd divorced her husband. I said it has been nice talking to you, would you like to grab a coffee sometime and she said she would. Wow!
We started getting together, I kissed her and she didn't run away. We were on a date and the subject turned to preferences. For instance, she liked having sex in public places, being thrilled at the possibility of being caught. She also liked to have her hair pulled. And more kinkiness. I never guessed and if she hadn't told me, I wouldn't believe it. So I wasn't the guy for her.
I also imagine a different scenario. What if I'd butt dialed her a year later, when she was in a serious relationship with someone else? I might be kicking myself over what might have been. If only I'd stayed in touch with her, she could have been mine, etc. etc!
The thing is, when you play "what might have been," you never know if you're right. I think Hollywood steers us in that direction, makes us think that if we just give it our all and never give up, the reward will come to us. When Robert Frost wrote that poem he said that his choice made all the difference, but he doesn't say if it was better or worse.
This probably won’t make you feel any better, but I remember reading a top famous psychiatrist who stated they had found that chronically depressed people are more in touch with reality….
I have heard that. It's very biologic with me and I learn to live with it. Came from a long line of illness.
I am totally accepting of the majority of my life's goals albeit one. First marriage, but that was a long time ago and I had a wonderful second marriage, great children, financial and personal success. Nothing I can change about that marriage, only chalk it up as a regret.
The above makes no sense in the context of the topic of this thread, The discussion in this thread is about the person who did NOT "have a wonderful second marriage, great children, financial and personal success" which made up for and compensated for the first marriage which did not work out.
This thread is about people (which the OP explains) who did NOT meet their major goals in life or did NOT meet one or more important major goals such as finding love, marriage, higher education, and/or career achievement.
It's more about a person whose first marriage failed, and then they never found love again (or never found marriage and love at all to begin with) and never found a second marriage or a second committed relationship - NOT the person who succeeded with a second marriage and financial and personal success.
Of course, a person who achieved "a wonderful second marriage, great children, financial and personal success" has little to nothing to cope with and be disappointed in that realm, in the context of this thread and topic!
Last edited by matisse12; 02-06-2023 at 02:38 PM..
Of course, a person who achieved "a wonderful second marriage, great children, financial and personal success" has little to nothing to cope with and be disappointed in that realm, in the context of this thread and topic!
This probably won’t make you feel any better, but I remember reading a top famous psychiatrist who stated they had found that chronically depressed people are more in touch with reality….
I have done everything I wanted to do (or try) and none of it made me happy.
You can't buy happiness, you can only rent it periodically.
Quote:
Originally Posted by carnelian
Those of you over 60, how do you cope with the stress of major goals you have/ had, and failure to achieve them? (If you do not have any goals then it doesn't matter.)
Not over 60, but I've traveled and lived in enough countries to realize the goals I missed were still a luxury for those who never had the option.
It's about perspective, humility, and appreciation, I'm still better off than a lot of folks, even if I don't meet my goals.
And as already stated, once we're dead it won't make a difference either way. I could be a billionaire right now, and I'm still going to die.
You can't buy happiness, you can only rent it periodically.
Not over 60, but I've traveled and lived in enough countries to realize the goals I missed were still a luxury for those who never had the option.
It's about perspective, humility, and appreciation, I'm still better off than a lot of folks, even if I don't meet my goals.
And as already stated, once we're dead it won't make a difference either way. I could be a billionaire right now, and I'm still going to die.
Well stated!
Growing up, I was fascinated with cars, especially race cars. Having a strong interest in oval track racing, I always wanted to give it a try, but despite my optimism, I knew it took more money than I had, as well as a few people to help you out, which I didn't have, at the time, either.
In the late 70s, my employer made a poor business decision, and got involved in a contract that required us to deliver about 12 months' worth of work, in a 5-6 month period of time. Long, agonizing story short, a couple of my co-workers and I got stuck working a MASSIVE amount of OT, in order to get the job done. The only good thing was the extra money we earned.
A couple of things occurred in life, and coupled with that extra money that I had earned on the job, I suddenly found myself in a position to take a stab at my dream, that being a chance to get out on the race track. In short, it really didn't work out, for several reasons. HOWEVER, as one of my colleagues at work, who was also a big race fan, said to me, "At least you actually got to experience what it's like, to come off the 4th turn, look up at the starter, and see him wave the green flag, while actually out on the track, instead of being like a couple thousand people sitting in the grandstands, just wishing that they could".......
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