Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
I guess that perspective comes from where you sit. We have always lived in an extremely expensive area. $2900 per month doesn't seem like a lot to me. Right now, with both of us working, we net about $13,000 per month. We save a lot. I'm not yet ready to be frugal (nor is my husband). We like to eat out, we go on vacations, and we buy what we want, when we want and we both really enjoy that. It's nice to be able to do it and that has been relatively new for us. I guess I'd just like to be that way for a while before cutting it all off.
So right now he brings in about 66% of your household income plus the health insurance?
I guess that perspective comes from where you sit. We have always lived in an extremely expensive area. $2900 per month doesn't seem like a lot to me. Right now, with both of us working, we net about $13,000 per month. We save a lot. I'm not yet ready to be frugal (nor is my husband). We like to eat out, we go on vacations, and we buy what we want, when we want and we both really enjoy that. It's nice to be able to do it and that has been relatively new for us. I guess I'd just like to be that way for a while before cutting it all off.
So if all this spending is new to y'all, should be easy to stop?
In this day and age, spending like that isn't good for the environment - but that is just me.
For an E-7 - his pension will be about 2000 a month.
Have him check with his reserve unit to make sure. Might settle you down a bit.
He said they told him it would be $800 per month. We have no idea what his basic pay was at the time of retirement, but I believe that was the figure given at the time.
So just a discussion for anyone here who has experienced this.
I am the spouse who cannot retire! I'm 56 y/o and I work for a government entity. I spent most of my life working in the private sector so it will take me until I'm about 64 for any of the fixed pension to be worthwhile. I've always had a 401K though and I think it's funded pretty well (I could always use more!!).
My husband was in the military active due for 8 years, got out, and has worked in the trades since his late 20s. He now is able to retire, at 57 from his job with a full pension, but has so far stayed on an extra year. The longer he works, the more bonus points he earns, making the pension higher. He has two smaller pensions that kick in when he's 64. He is in very good health, physically active (does triatholons, etc), but I think he's just had enough of working in cold buildings and working in situations where his peeing in a port-a-john all the time, etc. Typical stuff of that sort of job, but he's paid well and our health insurance is free.
If he retires, he drops down from making about $90K per year to pulling in a gross monthly pension of about $2900 and then we have start paying $400 per month for our health insurance by buying the retiree plan (free when working).
We can certainly afford to do this because I make a very good salary and our expenses are very low.
I feel very petty typing this out, but I feel kind of resentful over this. I'm trying to get past it because I know the type of work he does is not nearly as physically easy as my office job, but still. I guess I don't like the feeling that I *will* have to be the breadwinner for at least the next 8 years or so until SS can be taken. It makes me feel stressed and that's not a feeling I wanted at the end of my career.
Of course, I have told him all my feelings, which he thinks I'm putting that on myself and he says "Sorry I just can't do it anymore."
We have been to a planner and financially it can all work, but I still feel like he's really cutting us short. There were those really "bad" years of when I turn 64 and I retire and we would have very little income coming in IMO. Planners felt I should hold off my SS until 70 for some reason and him not pulling his until 67. We are going back to see them in a few weeks because they didn't have a lot of info on my husbands whole retirement scenario on our first visit so they were going to research that for our next visit.
Personally I would like my husband to work until 62, get a few more bonus years, and then I think I'd feel better. I feel like we've both worked for so long just to keep up with the kids' expenses and college. Just had the last one graduate in 2018 and for the last year, my money ha been mine for the FIRST time and now I see it all ending.
Anyway, his mind seems really set and, jokingly, the only way around it is to divorce him!!! But I was wondering anyone on this board is a part of a couple where retirement was different for you both and how did you manage it.
I haven't read the rest of the replies, but since I have 38 years in the building trades, with the knees, back and arthritic hands to prove it...I feel compelled to reply.
For various reasons including the physical ones listed above, I left the trade at 59. Due to my wife being 3 years younger, I accepted another position that paid well enough, but was easy on my body. I have hated every minute of the 2 years, 11 months and 28 days that I've been in my current position (but who's counting ). She knows I accepted this job because she had similar feelings as you do. She would still like to see me continue working because she likes to play golf and do similar things with me, and seems to be afraid I'll have fun without her? She will most likely work another 3 or 4 years.
I have an office job right now (until May 29th) and I hate it, but I also understand that I physically have no intention of returning to construction and destroying what's left of my physical capabilities...seen it too many times.
You are certainly entitled to how you feel, but as a part of a couple I can honestly say I've never had "MY MONEY" and I find that statement rather bothersome and hope my wife has never felt that way.
So if all this spending is new to y'all, should be easy to stop?
In this day and age, spending like that isn't good for the environment - but that is just me.
We were always spending, just not on fun.
Both kids were put through private high school and state college. During that time, we spent dearly on that as well as high medical bills for my son and myself (I had a cancer diagnosis in there). Lots of out of pocket stuff. I was also maxing out the 401K contributions and just all the other stuff that comes from the 2 kids in suburb lifestyle model.
Now I have the money and I spend it on other things. For instance, after 25 years, we got new countertops in the kitchen but painted our old cabinets.
This year, we are going to have all our bathrooms retiled and updated (still waiting on the estimate). Then we need the driveway repaved. All things that need to be done, that we could never afford (unless we borrowed) up until now.
Both kids were put through private high school and state college. During that time, we spent dearly on that as well as high medical bills for my son and myself (I had a cancer diagnosis in there). Lots of out of pocket stuff. I was also maxing out the 401K contributions and just all the other stuff that comes from the 2 kids in suburb lifestyle model.
Now I have the money and I spend it on other things. For instance, after 25 years, we got new countertops in the kitchen but painted our old cabinets.
This year, we are going to have all our bathrooms retiled and updated (still waiting on the estimate). Then we need the driveway repaved. All things that need to be done, that we could never afford (unless we borrowed) up until now.
If he was in the building trades - there were no friends, etc that could have done this? No special deals on material etc??
I haven't read the rest of the replies, but since I have 38 years in the building trades, with the knees, back and arthritic hands to prove it...I feel compelled to reply.
For various reasons including the physical ones listed above, I left the trade at 59. Due to my wife being 3 years younger, I accepted another position that paid well enough, but was easy on my body. I have hated every minute of the 2 years, 11 months and 28 days that I've been in my current position (but who's counting ). She knows I accepted this job because she had similar feelings as you do. She would still like to see me continue working because she likes to play golf and do similar things with me, and seems to be afraid I'll have fun without her? She will most likely work another 3 or 4 years.
I have an office job right now (until May 29th) and I hate it, but I also understand that I physically have no intention of returning to construction and destroying what's left of my physical capabilities...seen it too many times.
You are certainly entitled to how you feel, but as a part of a couple I can honestly say I've never had "MY MONEY" and I find that statement rather bothersome and hope my wife has never felt that way.
Best of luck to both of you!
Oh, wow, I hope my words didn't come off as "MY MONEY". I guess I hate posting a lot on these boards in reality because I don't do a good job of conveying my thoughts. We've always pooled everything and it's not a mine/yours thing all. It's really all about financial security for me.
I just believe that if he goes now, our retirement financial plans are being shortchanged. I also feel that with him not working, it will prolong how long I have to work. When the planner laid it out with my desired age of 64, our plan actually did not look good at all for a 3 year period. This makes me feel compelled to work through that 3 year period. However, if he stays working for three years, he earns an additional 120 retirement credits per year (versus the standard 90 credits) and this will add an additional $700 to his monthly pension. It also adds to the other two pensions, albeit a small amount. It then makes the 3 years between 64 and 67 *much* better financially. Not to mention, we can continue to really put money away as we have been.
But, I absolutely don't discount the physical issues with his job. I am not ignoring that. But I do think my financial concerns are valid and I am trying to find a way to get beyond feeling a little peeved over it.
Please register to post and access all features of our very popular forum. It is free and quick. Over $68,000 in prizes has already been given out to active posters on our forum. Additional giveaways are planned.
Detailed information about all U.S. cities, counties, and zip codes on our site: City-data.com.
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
I'm 56 y/o and I work for a government entity. I spent most of my life working in the private sector so it will take me until I'm about 64 for any of the fixed pension to be worthwhile. I've always had a 401K though and I think it's funded pretty well (I could always use more!!).
