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This is a huge worry of mine. I am 60 my wife is 62 and not nearly as healthy as I am. Nothing terminal but she just is one of those people so the thought of losing her before I go is very real. And I'm terrified at the options.
Sure you can pay for in home care but most of us can not afford that or a retirement community. So we are left with the thought of a state supported care facility and obviously that is not the best situation, bare bones care at 84 surrounded by white painted cinder block walls is simply terrifying. I can not imagine ever marrying again, there was only 1 Mrs. Mt Airy so I don't see that as a possibility. On top of that we will be in a new state and won't have family near.
Some people cannot be alone. Some have no issue with it. Depends on which group you fall into. I know a woman who has lived through 3 husbands. Now working on her 4 th after her last husband also died. Wondering about how she manages to get all of these suitors. She isn’t attractive and is very domineering.
Is anybody 70 or older in a position where they have no spouse/SO, friends or family and are growing old alone without any prospects for this regrettable situation changing?
I do have a wonderful spouse, but no family or friends I could rely on if something were to happen to my spouse. I cannot imagine living alone having to rely on just myself to get the things accomplished that I need to, given my health and physical limitations.
Thoughts?
As a retired social worker who dealt with old and alone people I discovered the solution to this important problem: Socialize, seek real relationships, make friends. Do stuff with people. I’ll be 70 next month and have a number of real friends. Just last week I had lunch with a possible new friend. We met at a volunteer organization. We hit it off-will see how it goes. Not having friends is a choice. BTW I am a guy.
Is anybody 70 or older in a position where they have no spouse/SO, friends or family and are growing old alone without any prospects for this regrettable situation changing?
I don't see it as a regrettable situation. I see it as a chance, finally, to live my own life.
You can’t imagine the pain of living alone? I was married for 10 years, and have been divorced since 1997. I have no interest in having a spouse. I love living alone and wouldn’t have it any other way. I can’t imagine the pain of being married.
I hear ya!
I too was married for a long time (16 years, felt like 16 lifetimes) and have been divorced for 11 years. I have come to LOVE the independence and never having to answer to anyone, accommodate anyone, or compromise on anything. My confidence in my own abilities has soared.
I did have to go back to work full time which was a necessary adjustment, and it was admittedly tough raising two boys on my own. But I did it, and we all survived, even thrived, just fine. Both are wonderful young men now who share a healthy respect for women and an admiration for their mother who worked her ass off to give them a good life and a happy home.
Life as a single person is what you choose to make of it! At this stage of my life, I also wouldn't have it any other way. :-)
Anyone notice how this conversation is falling along gender lines? So far, most of the men seem to need a wife or female companion. Most of the women are fine being single/alone.
Anywho, I've been single/alone my entire life. I have no fear going into retirement. It just takes good planning assuming no major health issues
Last edited by charlygal; 12-26-2019 at 09:28 AM..
Anyone notice how this conversation is falling along gender lines? So far, I most of the men seem to need a wife or female companion. Most of the women are fine being single/alone.
Every woman my age I've talked to about the possibility of losing their spouse has told me with some vehemence they would never get married again.
No offense, guys, but if you are terrified of being alone seriously consider reassessing your dynamic with your wife. It could be you depend on her way too much. While she may not complain about it to you, it can be an undue burden that prevents her from enjoying her life to the fullest.
I see a very definite gender difference in my part of the country. I cannot tell you if single men are looking to get married. I know quite a few who are not. With way more single women than single men, I can see the opposite. If a single man shows up in our group, many of the women will go into attack mode. They are desperate for male companionship. My brother in law lives on the opposite end of the country. He is no catch at 80 years old with little money. Even so there are always women in his life wanting more. Sooner or later some give up but there are always more to join the harem.
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