Company for Christmas (gift, family, wife, college)
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Are the photos you have something your daughter might like going thru? My kids loved going thru the boxes of pictures I inherited. I took the ones I wanted, let them take what they wanted and got rid of the rest. Going thru them was part walk down memory lane, (OMG remember that!) and the rest a peek into my parents lives that didn't involve us. (their old friends, pictures of places they'd visited etc.)
Did you send your daughter back a list of improvements you demand to see in her house, or maybe a list of projects you demand she take on while she is visiting you?
These are all things I should have already taken care of
Quote:
Originally Posted by NYgal1542
Is the daughter coming to see her parents or to have them jump to her order?
Sorry, when I read the "list", my stomach turned.
Daughter needs a kick to the butt and grow up.
She is an amazing girl actually. She understands my shortcomings and she knows I probably need a push to take care of my own rather than for someone else.
I'm always talking about how I want to get this done or that done and it isn't done yet.
She wants to have a couple of game nights so other family can come over - this is something near and dear to my heart as I want this also. I love to play games.
It's my fault; I've never bought much for the house - in fact, the towels my husband and I use are from 1990 when someone gave them to us as a gift. So, unless, I was having a party or people over, I never bought anything; always had a bill to pay for my parents or for the business.
So, she knows me.
Just since Sunday - we've gone through 5 boxes (in-law stuff and it's gone), the old ripped up couches are now gone and the blinds/windows treatments are being measured this afternoon. I'll have them installed in 10 days. My husband got rid of 3 items in the garage so he is even happy. All good - just needed a little push and she knows that.
And yes, with the pictures - I think they will have fun going through those plus we have lots of videos when she was younger which are hilarious now.
She used to live here. There's tons to do. She's also a golfer and really plays every sport.
They will have a car and they will have lots of friends and relatives to see who can't wait to see them!
Bette, you sound like a very kind and devoted mother and wife. I hope you have a great visit with your daughter and her wife.
We went through some renovating after I retired and I understand how it is easier to do things “in order”. For example, we had the popcorn scraped off the ceilings before we bought new furniture. We were in the middle of renovating two bathrooms and the master bedroom, plus putting new siding on the house, when a parent became ill and I had to leave. It did all get done but was stressful so I understand. It is easy to get burned out and need a break.
Your daughter could have gifted you by sending new towels, sheets, bath rug, etc. ahead of their visit as an encouragement for your efforts. But in any case, enjoy her visit and Christmas with family!
Bette: There is something you keep saying that I wish with all my heart you would stop doing!!!
"It's my fault."
If I remember correctly, you have problems with your vision. Somewhere along the line someone has convinced you "it's my fault."
Bette: There is something you keep saying that I wish with all my heart you would stop doing!!!
"It's my fault."
If I remember correctly, you have problems with your vision. Somewhere along the line someone has convinced you "it's my fault."
It's NOT your fault.
Thank you NYgal1542.
I'm a good actress but just wanted to be more like my sibs who were the cheerleaders and the football player. I was none of that; truly the background person, black sheep.
Appearances were important. Even after my dad lost everything, they stayed in their home and no one knew how hard things were. But, that's a long time ago and people were like that; didn't share with others.
My sibs are super social and all have tons of friends. I've always wanted that for myself.
Until I was 7 or 8, I was in the hospital every year for the vision. Always trying the next thing that was going to work plus the muscle in the blind eye was not good so I looked cross eyed. Kids can be so cruel. My parents finally got me contacts and I was told not to lose them. So, no climbing trees like the other kids; I could read a book.
Someday, I just wanted to have that home all nicely done, have people over, have friends. If it takes going to a 55 plus (part time), that's something to think about. There's enough of them in my area but right now, staying in the home is what we want to do.
So, years after all my surgeries, I think I did feel obligated to my parents to help (after all, they had helped me) but I never thought it would be so long term. Great parents though - I think my mother would have gone back to work (she had an MBA) but in going through my parents' stuff after they were gone, I found that it was my dad who wanted my mom to be a SAHM, go to lunch with her lady friends, volunteer, all that. Just the time they grew up in. Appearances, you know.
(As a boy, my dad grew up in Greenwich, CT and Ridgewood, NJ). We lived in Winnetka, IL as a family when we in the Chicago area. You get the idea.
And really, my mom didn't have time in between the last kid leaving home and then the arrival of grandchildren (yes, she took care of many).
She doesn't want to be embarassed and I want her to come here in the future when they have children.
It's my fault the renovation has not been done.
Normally, I would have gotten a loan and done it.
I wanted to try paying as I went. Didn't work out too well.
Hey, I'm not perfect and trying very hard to get back to where I used to be.
Speaking from experience, Collies shed like crazy so that probably keeps you busy.
Toilets were surprisingly inexpensive when I replaced mine a couple of years ago. Installation was more but I bought a toilet and new bathroom sink and new faucets and in the kitchen. I got a home equity LOC when I did some major renovations so the interest went on my taxes at the time. That may have changed now. If you are going to do this work anyway, and have the dog under control, you will enjoy the benefits long after the guests leave.
I'm a good actress but just wanted to be more like my sibs who were the cheerleaders and the football player. I was none of that; truly the background person, black sheep.
Appearances were important. Even after my dad lost everything, they stayed in their home and no one knew how hard things were. But, that's a long time ago and people were like that; didn't share with others.
My sibs are super social and all have tons of friends. I've always wanted that for myself.
Until I was 7 or 8, I was in the hospital every year for the vision. Always trying the next thing that was going to work plus the muscle in the blind eye was not good so I looked cross eyed. Kids can be so cruel. My parents finally got me contacts and I was told not to lose them. So, no climbing trees like the other kids; I could read a book.
Someday, I just wanted to have that home all nicely done, have people over, have friends. If it takes going to a 55 plus (part time), that's something to think about. There's enough of them in my area but right now, staying in the home is what we want to do.
So, years after all my surgeries, I think I did feel obligated to my parents to help (after all, they had helped me) but I never thought it would be so long term. Great parents though - I think my mother would have gone back to work (she had an MBA) but in going through my parents' stuff after they were gone, I found that it was my dad who wanted my mom to be a SAHM, go to lunch with her lady friends, volunteer, all that. Just the time they grew up in. Appearances, you know.
(As a boy, my dad grew up in Greenwich, CT and Ridgewood, NJ). We lived in Winnetka, IL as a family when we in the Chicago area. You get the idea.
And really, my mom didn't have time in between the last kid leaving home and then the arrival of grandchildren (yes, she took care of many).
Please don't wear yourself out over this visit. You sound like a lovely person and nothing is "your fault".
Count me among the "appalled" group. Appalled by the daughter's nerve at basically ordering her mother to renovate and decorate, or else she won't come visit. Appalled that the OP thinks that's ok and is going to do it. Appalled that OP is constantly beating herself up for her own alleged shortcomings, instead of recognizing that the daughter is the one who is out of line.
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These are all things I should have already taken care of
