Company for Christmas (relative, retired, gifted, grow up)
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Unbelieveable!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I cannot imagine any guest, family member or not, sending a list of home improvements. Obviously if the toilet is not functional, then it needs to be replaced. If the guests want new rugs, new towels and "stuff like that", I would recommend they stay elsewhere or bring their own stuff.
I agree.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Bette
She doesn't want to be embarassed and I want her to come here in the future when they have children.
It's my fault the renovation has not been done.
Normally, I would have gotten a loan and done it.
I wanted to try paying as I went. Didn't work out too well.
Hey, I'm not perfect and trying very hard to get back to where I used to be.
Is this the first time that you are meeting her wife? Or the first time that she is staying at your house?
If yes, I can see why you want to get as much done as you can before they arrive.
There are at least a dozen 'red flags' in the OP's posts that strongly suggest this situation is not as objective and simple as a parent doing their best to "clean-up a "sentimental mess" (??- semi-hoarding), compounded by large, out-of-control animals -versus an unreasonable, demanding daughter (who has already spent three years, staying in hotels during visits, rather than an "unfinished?" home).
The daughter would likely paint an entirely different picture than the OP!
Daughter's wife is a lovely girl but she has not seen the house. It took me too long on the impact windows to save up all the $$$ and now, I'm not where I should be. I can get the blinds done in 10 days, other stuff also.
The room they are staying in is perfect. Blinds on the windows are fine in that room. I know with new blinds in the other rooms, carpet, couches to replace the leather coaches - I guess no more leather (sigh!) - it will look more presentable.
My MIL lived in a mobile home and was a hoarder. She was a wonderful person and I loved her. My husband was a little nervous the first time I went over there. During the years I helped her clear out some of the stuff and make it nicer when she asked. I am sorry but your daughter is spoiled and lacks manners. People are much more important than material items. I hope one day she realizes this.
There are at least a dozen 'red flags' in the OP's posts that strongly suggest this situation is not as objective and simple as a parent doing their best to "clean-up a "sentimental mess" (??- semi-hoarding), compounded by large, out-of-control animals -versus an unreasonable, demanding daughter (who has already spent three years, staying in hotels during visits, rather than an "unfinished?" home).
The daughter would likely paint an entirely different picture than the OP!
First all, we are not hoarders. The "stuff" we inherited were boxes of papers and pictures from my in-law's home. My husband wanted to sort through them himself.
We love our daughter but she came out in 2015. This was hard for us but we tried to be loving and caring.
We were surprised. Both girls wear makeup, dresses to work, etc. At their wedding, most of their friends were straight. Two couples were not.
During those years, she thought it best to stay in a hotel (only in town for 1 or 2 nights).
One of those years, she brought her girlfriend with her.
Her wife has never seen the home. I'm sure our daughter just wants a good first impression.
They are now married (late 2018). They did not come to Florida last Christmas.
There are 3 dogs of which only 1 is large (collie). The only time he goes crazy is when the pool guy comes and if the lawn guy is doing the edging. The other 2 dogs (Shelties) yawn and do nothing.
The home has good bones. Once, the window treatments are back in place, new furniture and just some retouching (painting), it should look presentable enough.
Anyway, looking forward to their visit. It's a big step for them and they are also attending church with us.
First all, we are not hoarders. The "stuff" we inherited were boxes of papers and pictures from my in-law's home. My husband wanted to sort through them himself.
We love our daughter but she came out in 2015. This was hard for us but we tried to be loving and caring.
We were surprised. Both girls wear makeup, dresses to work, etc. At their wedding, most of their friends were straight. Two couples were not.
During those years, she thought it best to stay in a hotel (only in town for 1 or 2 nights).
One of those years, she brought her girlfriend with her.
Her wife has never seen the home. I'm sure our daughter just wants a good first impression.
They are now married (late 2018). They did not come to Florida last Christmas.
There are 3 dogs of which only 1 is large (collie). The only time he goes crazy is when the pool guy comes and if the lawn guy is doing the edging. The other 2 dogs (Shelties) yawn and do nothing.
The home has good bones. Once, the window treatments are back in place, new furniture and just some retouching (painting), it should look presentable enough.
Anyway, looking forward to their visit. It's a big step for them and they are also attending church with us.
Good for you I hope you all have a wonderful visit together.
So excited to have our daughter and her wife and their dog coming for Christmas! They are driving from NYC and will be here for a week. They will be staying with us.
(In the past 3 years, our daughter has stayed in a hotel - her choice - due to the house not being finished).
The home needs renovation but some of it is easily fixed. New blinds, furniture, stuff like that.
We have a dog who has chewed the leather couches and ripped all the blinds out. He has been tested for the past month and I think he's finally past the chewing stage (he's a Collie, a great boy - 101 pounds, very social and seems happy; just likes to chew on leather and wood)! Now, he's almost 5.
Just got done with the hurricane resistant impact windows and doors. The whole house is done and what a positive difference. It is so quiet that the first day they were up, the dogs (3) slept until 9:30 AM (usually up at 7 AM).
We have 3 weeks and I've finally gotten my husband more involved as he needs to sort through items we have inherited from his parents (nothing of value; just documents, pictures, more pictures, picture albums, one for each year). Then there are boxes of pictures. Some of these are way before my time so we spent 2-3 hours today going through a couple of boxes. Felt good to have his assistance.
If anyone has gone through this process, is there anything you regret giving up? I'm a very sentimental person but other than documents and pictures, we do not have a lot of "stuff" - the home is not cluttered with knick knacks so that is good. (After I had been married, my mother came to my home and kind of cleaned out some of the quirkier items from the other side - like sexist type figurines which my mother had never even laid eyes on). Being busy all the time, it was months before I even noticed and one day I asked her about it. (My husband honestly didn't seem to care either way).
Our daughter sent us a list but it's actually a decent list and I know she put some time into it - she wants the toilet replaced in the bathroom they will use (good idea), new rugs and towels in there; stuff like that.
She wants blinds on all the windows and sliders (also one of our plans).
Our daughter is very organized, plans her days and times and I'm sure it will be a good visit. It will get us motivated for sure and I'm happy to have my husband involved (I've been trying to get his attention but he's always got a deadline as I do) but he gets this deadline.
We've got 1-800-GOTJUNK coming this week and I just want to get as much out of there as possible.
Anything you regret giving away? Anything you don't miss?
Note: We plan to stay in the home at least 10 more years - even if we buy into an over 55 community as a 2nd home. We could always rent out the 2nd home when we are not there. (if it came to that)
Sorry if she were my daughter and sent me a "list" of things she wanted done in advance of her visit to me, I would tell her and her family to pound sand. Let her stay at a hotel!
Sorry if she were my daughter and sent me a "list" of things she wanted done in advance of her visit to me, I would tell her and her family to pound sand. Let her stay at a hotel!
Exactly. My thought when I read that she wants the OP to install a new toilet before their visit was that she must be some kind of weird diva, like Barbra Streisand who puts it in her contract that every hotel room she stays in must have a brand new toilet seat. Unless the toilet is broken, or somehow doesn't look clean, there is no reason to replace it before her visit. And as long as the towels and rugs are clean, she can live with them for a few days. Who does she think she is to make such crazy demands of a parent who is just hosting them for a few days? Does she really think she needs her parents to impress her own wife?
OP, you seem to really do a lot for others, and put your own needs aside for others. It sounds like you've been this way a very long time. I understand procrastination, I do it myself with regard to home improvements sometimes, but it's time you put your own needs and desires in the driver's seat and stop letting other people, including your family, "drive" you. Fix up your house in your own good time. I know you want to be proud of your home when the kids visit, but if it's clean and uncluttered, it should be just fine.
I hope you, hubby, and your daughter and DIL all have a wonderful holiday.
My family came to visit for Thanksgiving. Now I'm in the throws of renovation as I just bought this condo a few months ago. I called my place "renovation central" as I'm putting in Pergo flooring, scrapped wallpaper off 2 bathroom walls and haven't bought the majority of furniture pieces because it's easier to do this work with minimal to no furniture in rooms. Two rooms had the Pergo down and two other rooms were down to bare cement.
We all made do though and had a great time. My brothers helped me get all the Pergo cartons from the garage into the rooms to acclimate. And we ended up going out for Thanksgiving dinner which let us spend Thanksgiving at the beach watching dolphin pods swim in the ocean.
The family's all gone back home and so today I go back to work on that Pergo.
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First time staying
I hope you all have a wonderful visit together.
