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My BH is very controlling. I had to insist on being able to participate in activities without him. Dig my heels in and walk
out the door.
Being apart is a very good thing. Gives you something to talk about.
He has a type A personality; he seems to be loosening up now that he's retired.
He liked me best when I was on 'happy' pills; Nothing bothered me.
But because of the side effects I threw them away.. they were not for depression entirely my
decision. He's
Oh, I forgot. We used to not be so agreeable with each other. Oddly enough, we started taking Sam-E, rhodiola, ubiquinol, and I think these, esp the Sam-E just mellowed us out a bit. The rhodiola resulted in my husband communicating more.
Please explain what these are? I think we can use them.
Please explain what these are? I think we can use them.
You can look them up on the net.
They are dietary supplements.
The Sam-E is supposed to mellow you out. Some people take St.John's Wort to alleviate mild depression. I read that doctors in Germany often go the supplement route before giving in to the harder stuff and many did recommend St.John'sWort to patients. It constipated me and I saw no results from it.
When it comes to this sort of thing, it's best to try one change for a few weeks, minimum, to see if they really seem to be benefiting you.
We used to bicker. Then I tried Sam-E, (400mg daily). After, I think, just several days we just did not seem to get annoyed so easily.
The Rhodiola (500mg daily), as I mentioned, seemed to have my husband talk about the little things in life more than before. We make off handed comments and discuss trivia more often. My husband used to get so involved in certain things that he shut me out. Now our conversations are started by each of us in pretty much equal amounts. I don't think the Rhodiola changed me at all. I take it anyway.
The Ubiquinol (100mg, we'll probably up this to 200mg daily) is touted, in part, to having you feel more alert mentally and having more energy. There is a lot written about it's being anti-aging and an antioxidant (but this is said about a lot of things). I noticed that I am less picky while taking this. Perhaps I get cranky when fatigued, I don't know.
We will probably be taking resveratrol as well.
These things do not, as a rule, have side effects; but people differ so if you try something be alert to your body's reactions. A thing that I benefit from may not help you and vice versa.
I am in no way a follower of holistic methods, so research things yourself. Remain skeptical because there is often some placebo effect involved in taking things for which extravagant claims are made.
There is an entire school of learning from India that treats maladies with herbs that is being patented in that country because Western companies tend to find what works over there and steal the formulations and patent them. Some people swear that they are effective and safe. Google Divya Ayervedic products if you are curious. I did once consult with an Md. who also was into this who recommended something for me that worked.
Otherwise known as CoQ10. I've been taking the stuff for decades, not just since Oz came on the scene. Everyone older should take CoQ10. Strengthens everything. Recently ran out and haven't replenished my supply. I do notice the difference in energy and stamina. Dr. Weil says you need to increase amounts as you age.
I recommend starting with a highly-soluble form such as QGel. 30mg. formulation the equivalent of 100mg of other forms of CoQ10 because the ubiquinone molecule is so large. Good for heart, lungs, gum tissue. Even today, 30 mg QGel is enough. I take in the a.m. Tried to double the dose a while back and take one at night as well - couldn't sleep - too much energy.
No familiarity with rhodiola or Sam-E, but I also don't suffer from depression.
We used to bicker. Then I tried Sam-E, (400mg daily). After, I think, just several days we just did not seem to get annoyed so easily.
I took Sam-E about 15 years ago when it was the new thing. It did wonders for my depression and energy level for about 8 months but created major withdrawal havoc when I decided to go off it for awhile. After a few months of misery, everything sorted itself out and I was thinking of resuming it. My open-minded doc sighed and said (paraphrasing) "if you want to put yourself through that again, why not just try some regular SSRI's? They'll give you the same good and bad effects, your insurance covers them so you'll save a lot of money. Best of all, I'll be able to monitor you for needed dosage increases and then withdrawal effects."
I pondered it for a week, tried various SSRI's over the next 2 years, sure enough it was the same old, same old. I didn't want to ever feel that messed up again, no more Sam-E or SSRI's for me, turned to exercise (cardio + yoga), have never looked back...
edit: VERY IMPORTANT: anyone who is on SSRI's or any other antidepressants should be very cautious about taking Sam-E, consult your doctor first. Also - and this veers slightly off-topic - if you're taking Tramadol (a commonly prescribed painkiller), under no circumstances should you take Sam-E or an antidepressant. The results can be lethal.
Last edited by biscuitmom; 06-03-2013 at 10:17 PM..
I like your relationship. It reminds me a bit of ours. We, too, still treat each other with respect and consideration. We still say 'I love you'. We also give each other space to be alone with our thoughts and others. I think it takes years to mature out of the adolescent 'puppy love' stage of expectations for marriage, and some people never grow out of it. I don't think people should marry until they are over it, though.
" puppy love"......that too can be hard to describe. ..... Everyone is different you can not put all in the same box. Just as long as it can take to " get over it" can also end up after many years a relationship that's grown old and tired of it. I think more depends on the way we are, some hopeless romantics , some no romance at all, it's just not everyone's thing. What's sad is when one is the romantic dreamer and the other is void of any real feelings.....this can lead to a long loanly life for the dreamer.
Location: We_tside PNW (Columbia Gorge) / CO / SA TX / Thailand
34,694 posts, read 58,004,579 times
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At this stage in your life, would you say you found your soul mate?
I sure BETTER have found soul-mate by now... I SURELY wouldn't be interested in dragging someone else through the mess of life.
Tough to imagine 'plowing-new-ground' after age 50, but... As I work in Asia... all the guys are crazy about their new wives.... At least they don't have to TRAIN them, but... many just want to have new hubby buy them land / house (for extended family) (since only NATIONALS can own in many countries).
Otherwise known as CoQ10. I've been taking the stuff for decades, not just since Oz came on the scene. Everyone older should take CoQ10. Strengthens everything. Recently ran out and haven't replenished my supply. I do notice the difference in energy and stamina. Dr. Weil says you need to increase amounts as you age.
I recommend starting with a highly-soluble form such as QGel. 30mg. formulation the equivalent of 100mg of other forms of CoQ10 because the ubiquinone molecule is so large. Good for heart, lungs, gum tissue. Even today, 30 mg QGel is enough. I take in the a.m. Tried to double the dose a while back and take one at night as well - couldn't sleep - too much energy.
No familiarity with rhodiola or Sam-E, but I also don't suffer from depression.
I could use some energy; will have to try the cq10.
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At least they don't have to TRAIN them, but... many just want to have new hubby buy them land / house (for extended family) (since only NATIONALS can own in many countries).
