Are Church Folks Friendly Towards New People?? (America, churches, Baptist)
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That really hasn't been our experience while attending a church for the first time in Colorado, North Carolina and now in Florida. Don't know why, but it's true! 99% of the time, we have to speak to someone before they will talk to us. The only people that will automatically talk to us are the Greeters at the door that have to b/c that is what they are......Greeters. Then, if a conversation is struck up with someone and, during the conversation, we tell them that we like boating, fishing and target shooting, they lose interest in us! We have even had some ladies tell us, "oh my husband goes fishing, but I only go once in a while"(or "I don't go at all", some will say). Wow, we think to ourselves. We go fishing, boating and target shooting together.....all the time! Wife loves fishing and shooting her rifle and I think that is VERY COOL!!
I'm a very friendly type of guy, but I don't see that "friendliness" even from people at church......why is that???????
People who go to church don't have boats, go fishing or shoot pistols/rifles???
That's a shame Loveboating, but don't give up, you will find a friendly church. That's one of things I really love about my church, everyone is so friendly. Maybe it's the location. In Texas hunting, fishing, shooting, you would fit right in
Location: Everybody is going to hurt you, you just gotta find the ones worth suffering for-B Marley
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Originally Posted by LoveBoating
That really hasn't been our experience while attending a church for the first time in Colorado, North Carolina and now in Florida. Don't know why, but it's true! 99% of the time, we have to speak to someone before they will talk to us. The only people that will automatically talk to us are the Greeters at the door that have to b/c that is what they are......Greeters. Then, if a conversation is struck up with someone and, during the conversation, we tell them that we like boating, fishing and target shooting, they lose interest in us! We have even had some ladies tell us, "oh my husband goes fishing, but I only go once in a while"(or "I don't go at all", some will say). Wow, we think to ourselves. We go fishing, boating and target shooting together.....all the time! Wife loves fishing and shooting her rifle and I think that is VERY COOL!!
I'm a very friendly type of guy, but I don't see that "friendliness" even from people at church......why is that???????
People who go to church don't have boats, go fishing or shoot pistols/rifles???
I've always gotten a very warm reception from every church I've ever been to. However, it doesn't always hold once I've been there a while. Church people are human too and just as prone to making mistakes as anyone else.
I think, often, people walk in to a church with this superiority complex and they feel everyone should be running up to them, rolling out the red carpet and whatnot, but people in churches can be just as shy, reserved, stand-offish as anyone who doesn't go to church. Everyone's got hang-ups about something. We're all just trying to get by.
That really hasn't been our experience while attending a church for the first time in Colorado, North Carolina and now in Florida. Don't know why, but it's true! 99% of the time, we have to speak to someone before they will talk to us. The only people that will automatically talk to us are the Greeters at the door that have to b/c that is what they are......Greeters. Then, if a conversation is struck up with someone and, during the conversation, we tell them that we like boating, fishing and target shooting, they lose interest in us! We have even had some ladies tell us, "oh my husband goes fishing, but I only go once in a while"(or "I don't go at all", some will say). Wow, we think to ourselves. We go fishing, boating and target shooting together.....all the time! Wife loves fishing and shooting her rifle and I think that is VERY COOL!!
I'm a very friendly type of guy, but I don't see that "friendliness" even from people at church......why is that???????
People who go to church don't have boats, go fishing or shoot pistols/rifles???
WEll, I think it all depends on the people that are in the church. Sometimes people who are hateful bring there attitude in the church. And that is a shame. The church is suppose to welcome everyone.
I work on the Hospitality Ministry, so I know how important it is to welcome people with a friendly smile, a good heart, as well as a good spirit. If someone has a bad spirit then you will pick up on it.
I have been at churches where people were not really nice and that really made me feel kind of bad. So that is why I try so hard to make new people feel welcomed at my church. If you treat people bad then they may not come back, and I think that would upset God, because if you are being hateful in the church, then you are not showing the fruit of Christ Spirit. .
Boy, it sure is nice to see these GREAT replies so far! We are just glad that you folks do understand where we are coming from! As for us, we still think that a lot of this "unfriendliness" is just a sign of the times and the way society is today in general. Even some church folks can be too shy and/or not-that-socialable. Most of the churches that we have visited don't even have a group for couples (men/women) within our age bracket (early 60's). The Senior groups they have are wayyyyyy to old and inactive for us. So, we just keep visiting until we find the right church/people/Service to go to.
When my Mother and Step Father visited me in Nashville they went to a nearby church on Sunday and they remarked about how friendly everybody was. They do alot of traveling and they always find a church if one happens to be nearby so they've visited countless churches over the years and from what they've told me they've met alot of very nice people. Obviously I'm not a churchgoer but I think the overwhelming majority of them are probably very friendly to new people.
I've been to many churches over the years and I jokingly tell everyone I could write a book on church shopping...My favorite one was a little Baptist church where an older woman approached us (thought she was going to welcome us!) and told me, 'you're sitting in my seat!"....
Then there was the church where they were announcing a country band would be performing at their monthly car show and that you could see them perform regularly at the Crazy Horse Saloon...
The church with the boxing ring set up in the middle...
We left the boxing ring church before service started and went to the one where their 3 praise singers were in their 90's...Bless their hearts...:>) I told my hubby "you'd think that between 2 churches we could have found one somewhere in the middle"...
Another funny one was the emerging church that was very edgy...We visited that one with friends and one of the young men ahead of us was dancing very suggestively...I made the bad mistake of looking over at my friend and we were both goners...Our hubbys were telling us to stop, but we couldn't for the life of us...Very funny...I looked behind us and the people were laughing at us getting a kick out of that kid....:>)
The sevice where it was Silent Sunday...No one was allowed to talk...
Just thought I'd share a few...I know the OP's post was on unfriendly churches, but thought I'd share a few cute experiences...I find more churches unfriendly than friendly...I think we want to be warmly welcomed as that's what will bring us back for another visit...
I remember some years ago I went to a baptism at the church my in laws go to regularly. At the time, I was still a believer and had been saved/baptised a few years prior. During the entire service, and especially during invitation, a lady behind me continuously pulled my hair in order to get me to turn around. When I did, she'd say something like "Are you right with Jesus?" "Now is your chance to avoid eternal damnation." "Do you know where you're going when you die?" It was so absurd, and I couldn't help but think at the time that sort of behavior would be a real turn off to somebody trying to find a new Church.
WELL, speaking from experience, I have NEVER found people to be any more or less friendlier at churches than anywhere else. I have found some where people seemed friendly at first, on the surface at least, and others where people were downright hateful.
Usually, I get the same response that was noted by the OP ( LoveBoating): just ignored. (After 40 something years I am used to it) And I live in Florida too
But basically that is how I have always been treated, I have never had a truly GOOD experience in a church and that is probably why leaving it was no big deal. As for deism/agnosticism, well, I am still a man or logic and reason (if not of social priorities)
I can strike up a meaningful conversation with the stranger sitting next to me at the sports bar about what-ever sporting event is on TV and have a better experience than talking to someone in a church . And I by my own account, I have no social life, so ...what time does the game start?
That really hasn't been our experience while attending a church for the first time in Colorado, North Carolina and now in Florida. Don't know why, but it's true! 99% of the time, we have to speak to someone before they will talk to us. The only people that will automatically talk to us are the Greeters at the door that have to b/c that is what they are......Greeters. Then, if a conversation is struck up with someone and, during the conversation, we tell them that we like boating, fishing and target shooting, they lose interest in us! We have even had some ladies tell us, "oh my husband goes fishing, but I only go once in a while"(or "I don't go at all", some will say). Wow, we think to ourselves. We go fishing, boating and target shooting together.....all the time! Wife loves fishing and shooting her rifle and I think that is VERY COOL!!
I'm a very friendly type of guy, but I don't see that "friendliness" even from people at church......why is that???????
People who go to church don't have boats, go fishing or shoot pistols/rifles???
It's kind of a case of darned if you do, darned if you don't. I've known people that complain because too many people swarm them as they wander in.
I think it's kind of an American culture thing. It's easy to get into our little world, where we attend/consume a Sunday morning service...then leave and go back to our lives. It's hard to get to know people well enough by seeing them once a week, so that you'd want to get together socially. Just because you sit next to them for an hour doesn't mean you KNOW them very well.
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