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Location: The western periphery of Terra Australis
24,544 posts, read 56,135,151 times
Reputation: 11862
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I've been trying online dating on and off for about 3 years, and have had no success whatsoever. I send out maybe 100 requests, of which perhaps 3-4 are accepted. The ones that accept me don't even seem greatly interested in talking to me. I've only had a girl request me perhaps two to three times ever and even they didn't seem all that keen. I've only been on about three dates from using net dating, which came to nothing except one friendship I am thankful for. I find ok cupid probably alot more effective, since I can send e-mails, but even then it's a one in ten strike rate at best and I haven't been able to get a date out of it.
I'm not bad looking, probably average, have an interesting personality, and am otherwise fairly normal; I work as a research assistant and am searching for a planning job - which I'm interested in, but my real strength is probably in the arts. I've been pondering why I'm having such dismal luck, and I think that's largely just how it is. However as much as I don't want to admit it to myself I think I have an added handicap, I don't want to think about it, but I'm thinking it may be the fact I'm Asian and many of the women there are rather narrow in their preferences. Asian women are just as bad, tbh, and I don't have a particular preference for them anyway. Anyway, I hate to bring up the racism card but it's so disheartening when you get rejection after rejection and nobody seems to even want to give you a chance. Alot of people say oh it's got nothing to do with it, but then why is this happening? Reminds me why I've generally given up on net dating. I only really go on now and again.
I've been trying online dating on and off for about 3 years, and have had no success whatsoever. I send out maybe 100 requests, of which perhaps 3-4 are accepted. The ones that accept me don't even seem greatly interested in talking to me. I've only had a girl request me perhaps two to three times ever and even they didn't seem all that keen. I've only been on about three dates from using net dating, which came to nothing except one friendship I am thankful for. I find ok cupid probably alot more effective, since I can send e-mails, but even then it's a one in ten strike rate at best and I haven't been able to get a date out of it.
I'm not bad looking, probably average, have an interesting personality, and am otherwise fairly normal; I work as a research assistant and am searching for a planning job - which I'm interested in, but my real strength is probably in the arts. I've been pondering why I'm having such dismal luck, and I think that's largely just how it is. However as much as I don't want to admit it to myself I think I have an added handicap, I don't want to think about it, but I'm thinking it may be the fact I'm Asian and many of the women there are rather narrow in their preferences. Asian women are just as bad, tbh, and I don't have a particular preference for them anyway. Anyway, I hate to bring up the racism card but it's so disheartening when you get rejection after rejection and nobody seems to even want to give you a chance. Alot of people say oh it's got nothing to do with it, but then why is this happening? Reminds me why I've generally given up on net dating. I only really go on now and again.
Someones personal mating preference isn't racist.
What u will tend to find on those sights is a woman/men will key in their perfect or ideal match and go fishing, and when they see you respond and u dont fit that narrow category then they simply blow u off, all while they are looking in their every day life for their mate.
Internet dating has yet to evolve past the narrow minded stages yet, we have seen it move past the purely sexual aspect of it's use and has at least moved into the realm of some actually meeting their mates.
Best bet start getting more involved in real life social events, your better off that way, or move out West where things are more open minded vs on the East Coast.
Location: The western periphery of Terra Australis
24,544 posts, read 56,135,151 times
Reputation: 11862
Quote:
Originally Posted by chanceryan
Someones personal mating preference isn't racist.
What u will tend to find on those sights is a woman/men will key in their perfect or ideal match and go fishing, and when they see you respond and u dont fit that narrow category then they simply blow u off, all while they are looking in their every day life for their mate.
Internet dating has yet to evolve past the narrow minded stages yet, we have seen it move past the purely sexual aspect of it's use and has at least moved into the realm of some actually meeting their mates.
Best bet start getting more involved in real life social events, your better off that way, or move out West where things are more open minded vs on the East Coast.
I actually am out West - Western Australia, that is, lol, but I think it's pretty similar to how it is in the States. I should mention I'm Australian, just with Asian ancestry, so it's not a cultural problem but merely one of appearances.
I think some women find Asian men hot. I am not familiar, what is the percentage of Asians in Australia?
Don't give up, I think you are fairly young, and even though you may sound a bit geeky, you have a very deep thoughtful side to yourself. I look Asian, too, but am very different from what people expect from me (being Russian, see, it's hard to explain) but even I found a match with a Canadian, though in real life, not on the Net.
Location: The western periphery of Terra Australis
24,544 posts, read 56,135,151 times
Reputation: 11862
Quote:
Originally Posted by nuala
I think some women find Asian men hot. I am not familiar, what is percentage of Asians in Australia?
Don't give up, I think you are fairly young, and even though you may sound a bit geeky, you have a very deep thoughtful side to yourself. I look Asian, too, but am very different from what people expect from me (being Russian, see, it's hard to explain) but even I found a match with a Canadian, though in real life, not on the Net.
Australia is about 12% Asian, which is pretty similar to California. Actually I think this often works against me, if anything. There are hoards of these Asian students that all dress and look the same and some people automatically lump me in with them. Alot of them mostly speak their own language (although most are quite fluent in English), but they fit the geeky Asian stereotype to a tee. I'll sound racist myself but I honestly can see why alot of women don't go for them. It's a bit annoying being short-sighted and needing glasses - not so much because I hate glasses myself, but again the silly stereotypes. I've tried contact lenses and I think I'll go with geeky over having red eyes every morning, lol.
Oh I do get "being lumped up" as I lived in Vancouver for 4 years after immigrating from Russia, and I would say Vancouver is about 30%-50% Asian, and I was just disappearing in the crowd... Vancouver's men would be sooooo interested in Japanese and Chinese chicks, but when I'd come up with my Eastern European accent and a tougher Russian demeanor, they wouldn't know what to do. So that worked against me there, too. I don't know, I always found a cure for my personal life to be - moving. That's how I ended up in Nova Scotia, through Boston. Nova Scotia is a land of wonder as nearly 99% are still white. I'd never experienced this as lived in multi-cultural metropolises before, always. Getting used to it now.
Why don't you try something else instead of internet dating?
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Are you being sarcastic?
