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Hey all, I haven't really made much of an effort in real life. My 'strategy' would be to go out to clubs or bars and just hang around with my friends or myself trying to look busy and once in a blue moon pluck up the courage to talk to a woman. Usually a few pleasantries would be exchanged but that would be about all - no numbers exchanged or anything. I've had a few female friends but that never progressed beyond friendship. So there you have it, 24 years old and no experience; the dates I've been on have been awkward...I don't think I've been outrightly rejected because of ethnicity or anything but I get the feeling women aren't that interested. Yes, I'm rather scrawny, a little awkward, still pretty shy, and don't have the best fashion sense; some have said I'm kinda handsome, lol, but I sometimes feel ugly. I probably just start 'working' on that before I complain too much. It's not like I've asked hundreds of girls out in real life and keep on getting rejected. i mean I haven't really asked any girl out in real life; except on the internet.
Definitely work on you. Build some self-esteem and confidence in yourself. Don't blame lack of interest on your ethnicity when you admit to having poor confidence. Girls like a guy who knows what he wants and takes pride in himself.
You haven't stated if you're interested in a particular ethnicity of women or if you exclusively date Asian women, etc. I would think Asian women would tend toward the shy side and would be a little more expectant of an approach from you (thereby making it easier for you).
Location: The western periphery of Terra Australis
24,544 posts, read 56,047,835 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by redjan1225
Definitely work on you. Build some self-esteem and confidence in yourself. Don't blame lack of interest on your ethnicity when you admit to having poor confidence. Girls like a guy who knows what he wants and takes pride in himself.
You haven't stated if you're interested in a particular ethnicity of women or if you exclusively date Asian women, etc. I would think Asian women would tend toward the shy side and would be a little more expectant of an approach from you (thereby making it easier for you).
No I would date a woman of any race, although I do admit with some races there are more women I find attractive than with others.
The net is a strange place - good & bad. Try re-inventing your profile - do a complete re-write! Be sure every word is positive and exciting. Remember you are putting together a resume for a woman not a list of likes and dislikes nor list of problems with past relationships. Go on line and read the profiles of men in your age group (your competition). You'll get a feel for what sounds welcoming and inviting and what sounds ... scary! Get a new handle - something good but not too "cute" - don't make it complex. Without question update all your photos. Get a friend to take a few dozen photots and pick only the very best ones.
If you have been on line for 3 years don't think it's hasn't been noticed -- it has been noticed. From my view, your profile would be in the wood pile .... time to update and reinvent!
Best wishes.
I've been trying online dating on and off for about 3 years, and have had no success whatsoever. I send out maybe 100 requests, of which perhaps 3-4 are accepted. The ones that accept me don't even seem greatly interested in talking to me. I've only had a girl request me perhaps two to three times ever and even they didn't seem all that keen. I've only been on about three dates from using net dating, which came to nothing except one friendship I am thankful for. I find ok cupid probably alot more effective, since I can send e-mails, but even then it's a one in ten strike rate at best and I haven't been able to get a date out of it.
I'm not bad looking, probably average, have an interesting personality, and am otherwise fairly normal; I work as a research assistant and am searching for a planning job - which I'm interested in, but my real strength is probably in the arts. I've been pondering why I'm having such dismal luck, and I think that's largely just how it is. However as much as I don't want to admit it to myself I think I have an added handicap, I don't want to think about it, but I'm thinking it may be the fact I'm Asian and many of the women there are rather narrow in their preferences. Asian women are just as bad, tbh, and I don't have a particular preference for them anyway. Anyway, I hate to bring up the racism card but it's so disheartening when you get rejection after rejection and nobody seems to even want to give you a chance. Alot of people say oh it's got nothing to do with it, but then why is this happening? Reminds me why I've generally given up on net dating. I only really go on now and again.
as other posters have said, make yourself look as appealing as possible on the internet medium.
and be patient.
since people can list details about themselves, it gives folks more of an incentive to pick those who are closer to their personal lists.
maybe try reading some of the ladies profiles you are interested in and if some of your hobbies match theirs, call more attention to that in your own.
Go to Europe (especially France or E Europe) or Latin America where women are more likely to judge you as an individual and less as some racist stereotype...
well, i can't say for sure what the cause might be behind your lack of success, but it could well be the fact that you're an asian male. take a look at this research from OKCupid:
i would suggest that you get off the computer and try meeting women IRL
PS: i'm south asian and have also had zero success with online dating, but much better experiences meeting women IRL
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Are you being sarcastic?
