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When you are an old lady, and the years have mellowed out all the hurt feelings and left the good memories, which items will you enjoy looking at again? A photograph, a note he wrote you, a piece of jewelry? If so, keep those things for now. You can always pitch them later if you want.
Sorry for randomly posting my problem, but I'm new to the forum and I just happened to find a thread that's relevant to my question.
I've been with my boyfriend for about a year and a bit now. He still keeps gifts from his ex-girlfriend and I don't feel okay about it at all. She gave him a book and a dvd. My boyfriend tells me his ex-girlfriend is a distant memory and that the gifts mean nothing to him-they're simply "objects which no longer hold any value". He doesn't communicate with her anymore and it has been two years since their relationship ended.
I know it sounds very silly that I feel so annoyed about the situation, but his ex-girlfriend just happens to be someone I've known for years, even though we're not that close. Also, when my friend broke up with my boyfriend, he was really depressed. She was his first real girlfriend and even that idea annoys me. Could my boyfriend be keeping the gifts because he wants to remember his first girlfriend?
When they dated, I was there to witness it. I've seen them together and now everytime I'm with my boyfriend, that's all I can think about. The notion that they went to many places and shared so many memories and special moments together kinda makes me jealous. I don't want to go to any of the places my boyfriend has been to with his ex-girlfriend, or do any of the things they've done together.
My boyfriend loves music and he was able to share that part of him with his ex-girlfriend, but I feel like he can't do that with me. That's partly the reason why he doesn't want to throw away the gifts (music book and music dvd).
I sound like a jealous ***** right now and I really don't want to feel this way. Can someone please help? Are my feelings just really silly, irrational and nonsensical?
I packed the stuff up and put it in my storage area. I hate to throw it away because a lot of it is pretty cool stuff he got for me in Japan and Korea. I hope someday I might be able to look at it again, but I don't know.
I can't bring myself to delete all the pictures I have of his dog, but I can't look at them either.
I have kept the items given as gifts and also pictures. I did have one boyfriend in high school that I had copies of pictures that I sent to his wife many many years later. His wife and I are friendly, I also sent her a photo of him as a child in a baby crib, it was the only one they had and I felt his family should have it.
I have jewelry, costume and real that I have kept. One of the costume pieces is a pin with a heart locket in it that a boyfriend gave me (with the matching earrings) for Valentines day, I left his picture in the locket. NOT because I still have feelings for him but he was the one who gave it too me. I look at the items as memories from the past. I prefer to set aside the train wreck that the ending of a relationship can be and remember the good times.
From my first relationship (10 years ago), I kept most everything for a while simply because looking at and touching the things he gave me meant I had to think about him. I knew I was healing when I was able to throw things away. I threw the last memory away about 2 years ago. I saw it sitting on my shelf and just stopped in my tracks, looked straight at it, grabbed it, and ran to the trash with it. I'm glad I have nothing left.
I keep them until I don't need/want them anymore. Like a bunch of stuffed animals my ex ex ex bf gave me years ago. Threw them away at some point. But I don't get rid of gifts, just cause they were from an ex. Heck, I still wear my old wedding/engagement rings sometimes (on the right hand though). They are so pretty. It's a waste to keep them in the jewelry box.
When you are an old lady, and the years have mellowed out all the hurt feelings and left the good memories, which items will you enjoy looking at again? A photograph, a note he wrote you, a piece of jewelry? If so, keep those things for now. You can always pitch them later if you want.
Exactly! I threw away a diary I kept when I was with my first love after we broke up. Now I wish I kept it. It would be so nice to read it now.
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