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I wouldn't consider myself popular...I do have quite a few best friends.
I think that is has to do with the "law of numbers"...the more people you speak to - the better you're chance is of finding "true" friends. In middle school, I befriended the "metal heads". I was shy & they were cool with that.
Once I reached high school though people changed and so did I. I was still friends with "metal heads", but I found that I liked a variety of friends (except the ones doing drugs). So, my friends now included: geeks (because I wore glasses & took college prep classes); the "lonely" people that weren't categorized and the "Jocks".
Yes, even the "jocks". I became a cheerleader to overcome my shyness, while being editor of the school newspaper. A cheerleader & geek in one...it certainly puzzled people
Outgoing and popular aren't mutually inclusive. You can be outgoing and a jerk and repel everyone. I think popular in the proper sense is built upon a person's ability to relate to others, even if it's in a small way.
Popularity doesn't mean you are friends with everyone to the same level. Some you will have more substantial relationships with than others.
I don't consider myself 'popular' but I do know a lot of people. I know how to engage someone in a discussion, and to be engaged. I'm witty, and can dish a joke as well as take it. So I can be at a function and know various people, some people will get a head nod, some will get a few quick words, and some will get deeper discussion. I don't consider all of them friends, though, because they are not.
I'm thinking of my co-worker who always jokes that what should be 5 minute trip through my cafeteria ends up being 20 because I know so many people. The funny thing is that he's the type that will greet everyone that comes our way as we are walking to the cafeteria in another building. Me, on the other hand, won't necessarily greet all coming my way, but will turn certain situations that I find myself in with a person, into some kind of relationship. For instance, let's say Ms. Peggy, the cook during the breakfast shift, is out, and they have some different guy there. This new guy can't get our orders right, so I'm the one who will say something funny about how much we miss Ms. Peggy. That starts the basis of next time I see that person I can speak or even take it further right there. I build on it from there.
So how is some people have many friends (not acquaintances nor just friends but best friends you can rely upon)?
That must be cool sometimes... your close friends being there if there is something bothering you. I guess that's what friends are for.
I can't stand overly popular people. They always have it so easy.
I have several really good friends that I have known for years and years and I have also several good friends that I have only known for a few months. It's just the bond that I have formed with these particular people. That being said, you have to be a good friend to make good friends, so maybe you should look at yourself first. Not meaning to sound harsh but if you have a difficult time making friends maybe your approach is all wrong or maybe you're just not a good friend in return.
It's hard to judge this situation since I don't know you and have no idea what your personality is like, but based on this forum, you seem fairly outgoing! Good luck!
you have to be a good friend to make good friends, so maybe you should look at yourself first. Not meaning to sound harsh but if you have a difficult time making friends maybe your approach is all wrong or maybe you're just not a good friend in return.
It's hard to judge this situation since I don't know you and have no idea what your personality is like, but based on this forum, you seem fairly outgoing! Good luck!
Thank you but I think I come off different when writing on this forum than in person. I guess it's a lot easier when you're writing than actually talking to people face-to-face on a daily basis esp. at work. Needless to say, I'll try to change my approach. I'm sure there must be something that's not working.... Thanks
When you are young, in highschool or even younger than that, popularity is seldom based on how good of a true "friend" you are. However, as you age and grow in your life, the quality, and not necessarily the number of friends you have, will depend on the quality of friend YOU are. You can be outgoing and friendly, and that will surely earn you many acquaintances. But acquaintances and friends are two totally different relationships. Acquaintances don't really care about you more than a buddy to talk to or hang out with, when it's convenient and fun- a friend does. And that is the person you call when you need to really vent, or want a shoulder to cry on, or the person that will be there to pick you up in the middle of the night when you have a flat tire- an hour out of town.
Be to others the kind of friend you would want to have, and you'll have all you need.
The facts are, when you are a kid you have friends, as you enter school, you have different friends, when you get into junior and high school, those friends will chang again. When everyone leaves for college you get yet more friends and then when you get married and have kids or move out on your own - here again, you make more new friends. Now, go back through your life, how many of the original friends do you really stay in touch with? Granted, some of us do, (I don't) but some are like me and couldn't even tell you who they were friends with in elementary school.
It's life. We have friends, we make new ones, we lose the old ones. Some of us are popular, some of us are not. Someof us may never have a "best friend" or be one.
My point is, life shouldn't be dictated by the amount of friends you have or anything like that. It's good to meet lots of people and if some friends stay, then great but don't get worried when you don't have a slew of friends or a "best friend".
Their is a saying that you can tell the character of a man by the number of friends he has
Try reaching out to people more even if it means getting your feelings hurt, don't blame yourself or take it out on someone else, keep reaching out to more and more people, and doing nice things for them, then in the long run you will build a network of close friends that you can count on. It works-really!!!
You can visit my site for more on this topic at [url]http://www.justvhs.com[/url] (Vulnerable In High School)
Their is a saying that you can tell the character of a man by the number of friends he has
Try reaching out to people more even if it means getting your feelings hurt, don't blame yourself or take it out on someone else, keep reaching out to more and more people, and doing nice things for them, then in the long run you will build a network of close friends that you can count on. It works-really!!!
You can visit my site for more on this topic at Just VHS (Vulnerable In High School) (Vulnerable In High School)
Quality over Quantity, that's what's most important. Better to have a few close friends and suffer extremely rare to no disappointments than to have a network of people and run the risk of being disappointed time and time again.
Quality over Quantity, that's what's most important. Better to have a few close friends and suffer extremely rare to no disappointments than to have a network of people and run the risk of being disappointed time and time again.
I agree to that because imagine all the energy and time you would have to invest on some worthless people, only to find out they were never true friends. In some cases, sticking to the old ones is better than seeking new people and get rejected frequently.
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