My long drama -past 4 months of a 7 relationship

[Huckleberry3911948]

you have some doubts about this one dont you.

[UrbanBlasphemy]

Dude.. wow. Ok, I needed a lot more than a cup of java to get through that. I actually had to have a keg of java, a couple painkillers, and few margaritas. I mean, I'm probably the worst at long posts, but man, that was like War and Peace, reminded me of that old film Neverending Story.. Either way, next time ya post, try to cut back a bit, you'll get more help that way.

Moving on...

So, to summarize things for the reading impaired:

You've been dating this girl for almost 7 years, and have talked seriously about marriage. But, for the last two to three months you two have been fighting a lot, and there has been no sexual intimacy. There has always been verbally abusive fights, but lately it has reached a point to where it's beyond normal. (Not saying that any fight is normal, but you get the point) So, the last fight you two had, you kicked her out of your bedroom and sent her to her own room. Since you are living with her parents, this was the most "logical" choice for you. Since you did that, she has broken things off with you, and asked you to move out. Now you're just hanging on, hoping that things will right themselves eventually.

I think that really covers the highlights.

Now down to business.

Bro, it's time for you to grow up. Seriously. I mean it. Throughout the entire novella, all that I've read is how everything is her fault due to her abrasive nature and her OCD. What about you? Dude, it takes two to tango... Maybe you're having these problems because you can't take responsibility for your own actions? Then again, maybe that's not the case, but from what I read, it sure sounds like it.

Look at this:

"Since English is not her first language, during fights, she will just say something to intentionally hurt."

"...general apathy and no patience and a seemingly self trained lazer-beam-like negativity whenever tried to talk to her."

"For 6 + years, all of our arguments have been created based on her anger..."

I could go on, but I want you to just look at what you typed right there for a moment. Think about it. Dude, you're running her into the ground, and then you wonder why she has all these negative feelings/emotions..

Let me break it down for ya.

Relationships take work. It takes TWO people to make them work. It takes understanding, and it takes patience. Without those things, the relationship is doomed to failure. So, you wonder why she stays up all night and sleeps all day -- could it be because she's depressed and lonely? If I had to place a bet on that, I think I'd win. If your talking to her is anything like your post on here then I'm not surprised that she's depressed. She needs someone who is always going to be there for her - without reservation, without judgment, and without complaint. If you love her, and I mean really love her, you'll accept her for who she is.

Thing is, she wants to be independent. She wants that house with the garden, she wants kids, she wants that loving husband.. but man, you're living with her parents. To me, that shows a lack of ambition. Circumstances may differ, but I think that's exactly what she sees as well.

So look, I'm going to stop here. I could go on all day about all of that, but there's no sense in it. The bottom line is this: The relationship is over, done, finished. Accept that. Move on.

The thing you have to focus on now is yourself. It's time to sit back and take a look at your life, look at how you handle things, think about all of that.. Quit putting the blame on someone else, and accept your responsibilities.

I'm not trying to be mean, but just truthful. You need to get your life back on track. Get your own place, quit using other people as your crutch. Before you can even think of being in a relationship, you have to make sure that your life is as solid as a rock. When you have that secure footing, and the confidence to be who you are, then you can start thinking about marriage, kids, and all of that.

But for now, dude, just move on.

I wish ya the best..

[nat_at772]

Originally Posted by sayulita

Agreed. I took one look at it and hit the "back" button. Thank heavens it wasn't a 7 YEAR relationship.

Originally Posted by cpg35223

Any seven-month relationship that requires 21 paragraphs of explanation is doomed. Cut your losses and leave.

I think it was 7 years. This is as far as I got

We have been together for 6 and a half years.

before I decided I really didn't want to read all of that.

[Dbl-r]

I looked, I left sorry...