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I've been dating my GF for a little over six months. Things are starting to get serious (committed, meeting each others family, etc, etc). Yesterday I meet her sister and 4 yo niece for the first time. They had never been to NYC so my GF and I had a great time showing them around and we had a nice dinner. My GF's sister left her daughter with my GF and I to spend the night at my apartment so she could go right to her interview in the morning from her hotel in NJ. Up to this point everything was fine.
I woke up this morning to her niece in my bed and my GF taking pictures of us. My GF thought we looked cute. I was completely uncomfortable with the whole situation and I immediately got out of bed. I think my GF putting her niece in bed with me was very inappropriate. She sees nothing wrong with it.
If I had a 4 yo daughter I certainly wouldn't want her in bed with a half naked grown man that I don't even really know. My GF thinks I'm overreacting. I can't believe she thinks this is acceptable and I'm strongly considering cutting my ties.
No, you are NOT overreacting! And your GF was taking pictures??? {{{shudder}}} Erase them, or whatever it takes. This just sounds bizarre. I wonder if she was taking pictures to hold over you later......! Good grief. Red flags!
I also don't think you are overreacting, if I were in your shoes I would feel very uncomfortable also.
I also don't think it was too smart of your girlfriend to take pictures. I'm feeling this way for your benefit, sometimes harmless things can look harmful also, in this day and age, sad but true.
That would creep me out. For one thing god knows how that could be misinterpreted.
I believe you have to have boundaries in every single relationship one has. For me a girlfriend dropping a nearly random 4 year old into my bed while I am sleeping and then taking photos of it, would be crossing my boundaries in a major, major way. Personally I would break up immediately. One red flag is that she doesn't seem to think it's wrong.
Thanks for the responses. I already destroyed the camera and the memory card (they were mine anyway). I don't think she was trying to set me up or anything but just incase I've decided I'll record the conversation we'll have when I tell her it's over.
Thanks for the responses. I already destroyed the camera and the memory card (they were mine anyway). I don't think she was trying to set me up or anything but just incase I've decided I'll record the conversation we'll have when I tell her it's over.
Your girlfriend is REALLY clueless if she thought this was okay! You did NOT overreact - in fact, you must never let this happen again because of the potential liability. I hope you are able to educate her about the seriousness of this and how she almost set you up to potentially be accused of something unsavory, not to mention arrested or sued.
I agree with everyone, you did not overreact. I think she did it though to try to try to make you feel like you were part of the family and maybe as a way to get closer, she seems she wants to be serious. I remeber taking a cruise with my boyfriend and his family, I shared a room with his sister, his cousin and her 4 year old son. He slept in his parents room. My ex and I got waisted the last night and stayed out til 3am. He got locked out of his room so he came knocking on my door. We slept in the same bed and in the morning I knew his mom would come looking for him so I got up and got in the bed with his little cousin and 2 minutes later his mom knocked on the door. His cousin opened it and his mom came in and took a pic of me sleeping and his nephew sleeping. I always felt like I was part of the family but everytime he saw that picture in the family book and he would comment on what a "good girlfriend" I was. I can see where she would think its innocent but I think its innappropriate. I think it was different for me because I was 21 and a girl. Did you ask her why she did that? My first thought is she is thinking of kids with you
Yes, you’re over-reacting.. inappropriate sexual schisms are just a backwards view.. what's the difference between this and going to some nude beach in europe and getting all offended?
The answer is: there is no difference
Here's a question.. are there cultures in the world where people including children not only stay in the bed of adults but stay in the bed of adults completely naked and not necessarily in a sexual way?
The answer = yes (if they can do it.. you can)
Here's a follow up question.. do these situtations exist in the u.s.?
The people who want to cover there child’s eyes/put on blinders for the people in the world are the ones throwing "Yes" around here.. but if you’re smart or least have a good understanding you learn that you can't hide anything from anybody and that such exercises are pointless, backwards thinking
I'm afraid IMHO your girlfriend has a more forward thinking view.. (and you should leave her if you’re going to have a backward view.. you 2 are incompatible) and your negative feelings/emotions on this should be your guidance to gaining a better more positive perspective (if you can take something away from this.. I hope you learn from the experience)
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