Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
Nope never cheated on him before and i've had many chances. Last year when we moved from AL to Louisiana I was home alone for 6 months and completely faithful while I was still looking for a job. My reasons for cheating are not physical...it's to fill a void in my heart I guess..and like I said, it was only this one time.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Dewdroplet76
Why did you marry him in the first place? It sounds like you have already checked out of the marriage since you are already kissing other men. Have you cheated on him before? Is there a reason for his jealousy?
Nope never cheated on him before and i've had many chances. Last year when we moved from AL to Louisiana I was home alone for 6 months and completely faithful while I was still looking for a job. My reasons for cheating are not physical...it's to fill a void in my heart I guess..and like I said, it was only this one time.
From your posts, it sounds like you don't love him, are afraid of him, and would rather be with other people. So, what is there to save?
Is this a real situation? Your American, he's Mexican what does that matter? You actually stood there and listened while his best friend tells you he loves you? You actually take the flowers and bring them home and lie about it? Who doesn't know the code to their computer or at least where its written? He want's his Visa and your on a date kissing some "old friend" while your married to another man. He punches a hole in the wall out of frustration and you think that's the biggest problem in your relationship? Hard to believe you think you deserve sympathy for being married. You drag him to counseling and he goes with you, you don't even speak about your own lies and deception to him. I can't even imagine the reality of what's actually happening to him. You sound sneaky and underhanded he sounds like he knows it and can't prove it. I'm not hearing any thing about him that sounds abnormal, he's trapped in a world with a narcissist holding the key to his freedom that he earned the moment you kissed your "old friend".
Yes I guess I shouldn't have taken the flowers but I was so shocked I didn't know what to say. I'm one of those people that is overly nice and doesn't like to say no or hurt peoples feelings. I told him when I was there that he doesn't need to do that again because he has been my husband's friend for more than 7 years.
The counseling was way before I kissed the other man. And at the counseling, my husband did not listen and felt like I was "attacking him" when I was just letting him know what he needs to do to help stregthen our relationship. Yes I was wrong to kiss the other man, but at that point I felt like it was over and he wasn't listening.
The point of the post was to see what people think. If his problems of jealousy and anger can be fixed without counseling.
Yes I was wrong to kiss the other man but that was one time and I did not do anything sexual even when I had the chance. And I have stopped texting the guy completely.
Just because he cried and realized he might be losing you, and started contributing more at home doesn't mean he's going to suddenly become a different person, all helpful, warm and cuddly. There will still be anger issues and tendencies toward selfishness. Think about the fact that "saving the marriage" means you'll be with him "for better or for worse" for the next 40 years or more. Wouldn't you rather be with someone nice, who doesn't scare you? Someone you can have a happy life with, who appreciates you?
Maybe his best friend has been hearing your husband's side of the story, and realized the marriage was doomed. He may have observed that your husband has anger issues in the way he talks about you.
At least you only wasted a year and a half on the marriage. Get out now, before your husband starts thinking like JoeSmith357, and you end up getting beat up for not taking out the trash on garbage day.
Is this a real situation? Your American, he's Mexican what does that matter? You actually stood there and listened while his best friend tells you he loves you? You actually take the flowers and bring them home and lie about it? Who doesn't know the code to their computer or at least where its written? He want's his Visa and your on a date kissing some "old friend" while your married to another man. He punches a hole in the wall out of frustration and you think that's the biggest problem in your relationship? Hard to believe you think you deserve sympathy for being married. You drag him to counseling and he goes with you, you don't even speak about your own lies and deception to him. I can't even imagine the reality of what's actually happening to him. You sound sneaky and underhanded he sounds like he knows it and can't prove it. I'm not hearing any thing about him that sounds abnormal, he's trapped in a world with a narcissist holding the key to his freedom that he earned the moment you kissed your "old friend".
^^^ this.
Can your marriage be fix? that can only be answered by you and your husband.
Just because he cried and realized he might be losing you, and started contributing more at home doesn't mean he's going to suddenly become a different person, all helpful, warm and cuddly. There will still be anger issues and tendencies toward selfishness. Think about the fact that "saving the marriage" means you'll be with him "for better or for worse" for the next 40 years or more. Wouldn't you rather be with someone nice, who doesn't scare you? Someone you can have a happy life with, who appreciates you?
Maybe his best friend has been hearing your husband's side of the story, and realized the marriage was doomed. He may have observed that your husband has anger issues in the way he talks about you.
You hit the nail on the head! His friend was actually at the bar the night he left me to go drink and punched the wall. He saw me walk into the bar for a brief minute, tell my husband "wtf is wrong with you?" and then I left. The friend knew my hubby wasn't treating me right and took his opportunity. Wrong choice until I was divorced, but guess he didn't wanna wait around anymore.
His friend that gave me the flowers just messaged me on FB. The friend doesn't speak English well but said that my husband was "crazy in the head" and that my husband thinks i'm cheating on him with the friend. I've never ever kissed or hugged that guy. Oh goodness!
Please register to post and access all features of our very popular forum. It is free and quick. Over $68,000 in prizes has already been given out to active posters on our forum. Additional giveaways are planned.
Detailed information about all U.S. cities, counties, and zip codes on our site: City-data.com.
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
