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This is an internet forum........ most people on forums are going to skew introvert. All the extroverts are out hanging with people being sociable.
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This is an internet forum........ most people on forums are going to skew introvert. All the extroverts are out hanging with people being sociable.
lol or its Sunday and most extroverts are wrapping up the weekend by prepping for the coming work week...i.e laundry, dinner, ironing, prepping children for bed after a full day of activities...etc..
Being an extrovert doesnt mean you're always out and about. You can get energized by being around family too, a nice evening indoors... when the bloody oscars is not on tv
I think people confuse obnoxious, overbearing personalities with "extroversion". While those people probably are extroverts, those qualities do not define extroversion, nor do they go hand-in-hand. Some extroverts are not that outgoing or "people-people". I think this leads many extroverts to mistype as introverts, thinking introversion means one is deep, thoughtful, and needs time for repose.
Also, just as all humans need interaction with other humans, we also all need that downtime to "recharge", some more than others. But we don't have any set standard; so how do we know what is "a lot" and what is "normal", etc?
The real differences are:
- How easily the brain gets over-stimulated. Extroverts require MORE stimulus than introverts, as they are under-stimulated more easily. Introverts get over-stimulated easily. This does not have to mean interaction with others; it can be any outside stimulus. What may be fascinating to the introvert is simply not stimulating enough to the extrovert. This is why introverts sometimes get pegged as "boring" (more on that later). Often an introvert's own mind is stimulating enough, and action & interaction can get overwhelming quickly. But if interaction is kept to a low level of stimulus, then we may not need to "recharge" alone so quickly. Conversely, some interaction can be under-stimulating for an extrovert & they may check out to pursue something more stimulating on their own. This is where many will feel more ambiverted, as their stimulation threshold doesn't feel very high or very low.
- Focus on inner world/outer world. This is not to be confused with imaginative vs concrete thinker. This is also not action vs thinking. Think of it more as the reference point you always return to for what is "real". If you are an extrovert, it may be hard for you to grasp that the inner world is more "real" for the introvert. The legitimacy of everything else is gauged in relation. Some introverts struggle with the invalidation that goes along with this (because most cultures devalue the inner world as anything creditable). This is why few ambiverts exist using this definition; you can't have two conflicting reference points. One is always dominant, the other complementary at most.
So I think it's harder for introverts to connect with others, not because we might be more quiet or are all hermit-like, but because we don't operate off the shared reference points like extroverts do. Even I, someone markedly introverted, will find it easier or "faster" to connect with some extroverts because they're coming from external reference points in conversation & even "attitude". The cool thing about many extroverts is that they can be fascinated by introverts - I think they are itching to turn your internal reference points into something "shared". That can be charming or obnoxious if they get pushy. More often than not, I appreciate it. Other extroverts are not even aware you're operating from a totally different reference point (because we tend to assume people think/feel as we do), and this is when unfair, negative judgments towards introverts can happen.
For women, this is especially a challenge as we're groomed & expected to be "other oriented". We're supposed to define ourselves in relation to others (whereas men are supposed to assert individuality). This is hard when you don't quickly form shared reference points with others. Of course, that's a skill anyone can learn, but I think it's less natural for introverts, who have strengths in other areas. When you don't wield it well, you might be written off as anything from cold to boring.
I think people confuse obnoxious, overbearing personalities with "extroversion". While those people probably are extroverts, those qualities do not define extroversion, nor do they go hand-in-hand. Some extroverts are not that outgoing or "people-people". I think this leads many extroverts to mistype as introverts, thinking introversion means one is deep, thoughtful, and needs time for repose.
Also, just as all humans need interaction with other humans, we also all need that downtime to "recharge", some more than others. But we don't have any set standard; so how do we know what is "a lot" and what is "normal", etc?
The real differences are:
- How easily the brain gets over-stimulated. Extroverts require MORE stimulus than introverts, as they are under-stimulated more easily. Introverts get over-stimulated easily. This does not have to mean interaction with others; it can be any outside stimulus. What may be fascinating to the introvert is simply not stimulating enough to the extrovert. This is why introverts sometimes get pegged as "boring" (more on that later). Often an introvert's own mind is stimulating enough, and action & interaction can get overwhelming quickly. But if interaction is kept to a low level of stimulus, then we may not need to "recharge" alone so quickly. Conversely, some interaction can be under-stimulating for an extrovert & they may check out to pursue something more stimulating on their own. This is where many will feel more ambiverted, as their stimulation threshold doesn't feel very high or very low.
- Focus on inner world/outer world. This is not to be confused with imaginative vs concrete thinker. This is also not action vs thinking. Think of it more as the reference point you always return to for what is "real". If you are an extrovert, it may be hard for you to grasp that the inner world is more "real" for the introvert. The legitimacy of everything else is gauged in relation. Some introverts struggle with the invalidation that goes along with this (because most cultures devalue the inner world as anything creditable). This is why few ambiverts exist using this definition; you can't have two conflicting reference points. One is always dominant, the other complementary at most.
So I think it's harder for introverts to connect with others, not because we might be more quiet or are all hermit-like, but because we don't operate off the shared reference points like extroverts do. Even I, someone markedly introverted, will find it easier or "faster" to connect with some extroverts because they're coming from external reference points in conversation & even "attitude". The cool thing about many extroverts is that they can be fascinated by introverts - I think they are itching to turn your internal reference points into something "shared". That can be charming or obnoxious if they get pushy. More often than not, I appreciate it. Other extroverts are not even aware you're operating from a totally different reference point (because we tend to assume people think/feel as we do), and this is when unfair, negative judgments towards introverts can happen.
For women, this is especially a challenge as we're groomed & expected to be "other oriented". We're supposed to define ourselves in relation to others (whereas men are supposed to assert individuality). This is hard when you don't quickly form shared reference points with others. Of course, that's a skill anyone can learn, but I think it's less natural for introverts, who have strengths in other areas. When you don't wield it well, you might be written off as anything from cold to boring.
I think you are mixing up terms. Introvert/extrovert is just how certain people "recharge" their batteries and relax. Introverts like being alone, and extroverts like being with people.
Shy does not equal introvert, and aggressive does not equal extrovert.
You didn't like the woman because she was aggressive, that's it.
I'm an INTJ, probably the one that is the most introverted (and judgmental) of the Meyer's Brigg.
But I DO have a generally aggressive personality and I'm not shy. I get cranky and tired when I socialize too much, even with people I like.
We're not judgmental. Just logical, analytical, rational, and able to pick up patterns in behavior long before anyone else, because we can detach and be objective.
That said, one date is not enough to determine jack diddly squat about an entire subgroup of an entire gender.
OP, keep dating, and come back with your generalizations when you've had an adequate sample size. Generally 2,400 is considered enough for statistics' sake.
We're not judgmental. Just logical, analytical, rational, and able to pick up patterns in behavior long before anyone else, because we can detach and be objective.
That said, one date is not enough to determine jack diddly squat about an entire subgroup of an entire gender.
OP, keep dating, and come back with your generalizations when you've had an adequate sample size. Generally 2,400 is considered enough for statistics' sake.
Damn, even Casanova himself could not sample 2,400. Most guys barely sample 10.
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when the bloody oscars is not on tv 
) of the Meyer's Brigg. 
Most guys barely sample 10.
