Quote:
Originally Posted by NilaJones
We get a lot of posts here from guys saying they want an FWB, but that they think if they suggest it to a woman she will be offended.
We also get a lot of posts from women talking about happy FWB relationships they have had.
So, women, what is the non-offensive way to broach the subject? Or do you always want to be the one who brings it up? Or is nothing potentially offensive? How did your past FWB relationships start? What would be the ideal beginning of a future one?
|
I cannot answer the first few questions-I don't know, I've only had one FWB (which I distinguish from ONS).
Have had the same FWB since 2009, off & on.
When I've found a romantic relationship (with someone else)
we ceased contact-then revived it when my relationship ended.
How my FWB situation began:
A friend at the time, whom I'd told about my dating (lack thereof) woes, said she could find me someone.
I was clear that I wanted a relationship, however I also knew that a FWB would be far more likely-and I was willing to take what I could get.
She went to her male acquaintances (I don't know how the talk on that end went) and came back to me with one at a time.
The guy I eventually chose was either the 2nd or 3rd person I was introduced to.
The intro was where she & her bf, and the guy & I, would sit around & play a card game together to see how interaction went.
My friend had done the behind-the-scenes work of making sure we were both available.
Can't recall exactly how the conversation between he & I went-but our intentions/motivations were already known to us both, thanks to the mutual friend.
So we expressed, euphemistically, that we each found the other acceptable for this purpose (physicality).
It was really helpful having a third party make the introductions and explaining the situation to each of us separately.
On the one hand, the FWB and I aren't "friends", in that we don't hang out together often nor have we much in common to discuss.
However, it's not as detached as a FB, since we occasionally talk a bit and try to be considerate/kind in how we treat each other-
we don't use the FWB dynamic as an excuse to be rude or callous towards each other, we still treat each other decently, like human beings.
However, there will never be more between us-there is zero potential for romance, neither of us is "into" each other on an emotional level.
Neither of us is particularly attracted to each other, but we can deal with each other-
and the alternative is having no physical contact with anyone, which I cannot live with.
I'd much rather be having a relationship (mentally & bodily) with a guy to whom I'm attracted and interested (and vice versa) who lives nearby-
but that has yet to work out for me, alas.
In the meantime, I make do with a less than ideal "connection".
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
.
