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I recently got a DUI and my husband got mad and took my kids and hasn't let me see them since. NO MY CHILDREN WERE NOT IN THE CAR WITH ME WHEN THIS HAPPENED. I have asked over and over to see my children but he says not until I go to rehab. I am not a drunk, just a dumb decision. I am a good mother and have always had my children with me. I have four. He took the youngest two.
What can I do?
We are still legally married, no separation paperwork has been filed, he just took them and now won't let me see them.
He says he wants me to do 30 day rehab, I have a feeling if I do just go to suffice him, he may do something while I have no access to an attorney or anyone at that matter.
Please some input.
I live in Iowa and we only moved here because his family is here and he was in Army for 11 years. He says he can get away with anything due to his PTSD.
Im scared and confused,
Many Thanks to those whom give me some insight.
See a lawyer who specializes in family law and get a custody agreement in place. You may need to undergo assessment to see if you need rehab, and expect your past record to be an open book.
Judging solely from what you have written here, I would think that you would be able at least to get supervised visitation with your children (unless they were in the car with you or otherwise placed in danger due to your behavior), with a hearing (which might well be in the judge's chambers, not a full-fledged court hearing) depending on the outcome of your assessment.
Meanwhile, give Alcoholics Anonymous a call. Even if the DUI was a one-time only, isolated incident, it's important to understand why it happened and how to prevent its recurrence.
Best wishes to you and your family.
Edited to add: this thread might be better placed under parenting or relationships, to better reach its target audience.
When most people get a drunk driving charge, its not the first time they drove drunk. Its just the first time they got caught. You need to get down on your knees and Thank the Good Lord you didn't have a wreck and hurt or kill somebody. Then you would have some monumental problems you really don't want to deal with. Ask your self if alcohol is causing you problems in your life. Only you know the answer to that question.If the answer is yes, that means you probably do have a problem with alcohol. Rehab would be a good decision. It will make you take a long hard good look at yourself. It's a scary thing at first, but you'll come to love it and make some good friends with other people who are trying to stay sober and it will become almost like a country club. Ask God to help get you into the right frame of mind to get you to take that first step and get yourself into rehab. You'll feel better after you're done with rehab than you ever thought you would. I promise you that. Bur if you continue to drink, things are only going to get worse. It's a downward spiral. Try to look at your dui as God's way of getting your attention. Good luck to you what ever your decision is.
In my opinion you should consider the rehab. It wouldn't hurt, it can only help. You many not think you're an alcoholic, but let the experts make that decision. Its possible that you aren't aware of a problem if you have one. And if you don't, going through the rehab shows him that you're making effort. If you decide to go with rehab, he'll see that you're taking the DUI seriously, even if you don't think it was a big deal.
I know plenty of people who have had DUIs who are not alcoholics. They have a few drinks, they drive home, they get caught, and theyre a shade over the legal limit. It seems that your husband just wants to make sure you understand the severity of it, regardless of how serious you think it actually is.
But take a few deep breaths, try and calm yourself. You can pick yourself up from this, suffer through the punishment, and emerge a wiser woman, and a better mother and wife.
I wouldn't let you see the kids either, knowing that you drink and drive. However, one has nothing to do with the other when it comes to your right to see your children.
I'm sure the OP is not telling the whole story. Maybe you should consider that your husband is trying to protect your children, and he wants you to take rehab for your good and the good of everyone around you. Looks like your husband may be the adult here. Besides that, they are not only your children. They are both you and your husband and he as much right to them as you do.
I am thinking there is more to this than what you are saying.
Do the rehab. If you love your kids do it.
Like the fact that it's a first post and after a DUI, the first place you come is C-D Relationships?
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