Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
It's not a "task". It just comes naturally when you find the right person. She's with you because she chooses to be. Because you're interesting, thoughtful of her, fun and/or intelligent, stable, etc.
Yup, this.
When I first met the love of my life, I paid attention to him because I was physically attracted to him. As I got to know him it became more about being attracted to who he was and how much fun I had with him. I remained completely physically attracted to him throughout (he's still hot!), but that physical attraction would have died had he not had his hilarious sense of humor or had he not continued to treat me well. It also helped that we had a lot in common, but that we were also willing to explore one another's interests and create a stronger bond that way. Even though the relationship ended after several years, we're still really good friends. You just can't force that connection. It either happens or it doesn't.
1. Be yourself. Only this way you'll be clear if you're really going to work out or not. Take this with a reserved stance, though. It's good to be your "better version" but you shouldn't be blunt of your intentions. Lots of people are out there and will take advantage of your sincerity, thus they'll camouflage into something they're not (or what they think they are) just so that you like them and get involved with them. You need to recognize this on time, otherwise you can be in big trouble.
2. Don't cater to people you date. You just met them. This is a common mistake, though. People cater to someone else's needs and they seem to reciprocate very little or nothing. Cut this type of relationship right away. Some people decide to "play along" their own way - but they don't invest either (much) money, time or energy in it - they're into having fun (or sex).
3. Don't be there as someone's "shoulder". You're not allowing someone else "picking you" - you are the one who does the picking as well. And you are in the process of seeking someone you possibly plan to spend your life with and have serious plans (unless you classify into the "some people" part in above said #2). You should NOT care that someone had issues earlier and seeks someone to "save them from their misery". Misery likes company - they'll make you miserable in the process, maybe not tomorrow but years last long and people do tend to get bored and do stupid things - your "savior" mentality will strike you right into your nose and bust your head.
4. Unless you folks and are getting very serious about the future plans and you have clear signals it works both ways, your priorities should never be around your date. You have a life outside of your dating world and dating with someone with whom you have no future plans already should NEVER distort other important plans in your life.
5. Before making sure that the other person is satisfied with you, always ask yourself if you are satisfied with that person. This is a no-brainer. Don't let others tell you it's selfish, if you have that "feeling in your stomach" about someone you're dating, be comfortable with yourself and let them know it. This doesn't mean that you shuold be a nazi who makes orders, but it does play a role not to let people taking you for granted.
6. Observe what people do, that is if you are truly planning to spend your life with them. This is very closely related to #5 and it is a well-known thing, but many people don't pay attention. This doesn't mean just to evaluate their past, which is very important, regardless what they tell you and they usually don't want to tell you the truth if there's something they might think you won't like, so you'll have to find ways to find it out. However, observing their present behavior on various things is also important. Do remember the notion that people tend to camouflage themselves quite well, but you can see some hints if you pay attention well.
7.You should never rely on the notion that people are going to change - that's called "going against the odds". Once you evaluate something you don't like, you make your evaluation if it is critical enough or not to warrant a parting away as a result. If it is, move on. If it isn't as critical now but many things make your prospect annoying, make sure to notice if they're willing to change over time they spend with you or it's their habit they don't want or are hardly going to eradicate out of their lives. If you see that they progressed, it's a good news. If you see the same old annoying things repeat again and again and you hate it - make sure to move on, unless you're ready to accept even more annoying things in the years to come.
Those things generally work for both, men and women.
Please register to post and access all features of our very popular forum. It is free and quick. Over $68,000 in prizes has already been given out to active posters on our forum. Additional giveaways are planned.
Detailed information about all U.S. cities, counties, and zip codes on our site: City-data.com.
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
