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I'm sort of tired of hearing about the confidence and men thing. It seems so outdated. It's kind of like talking about how a woman should be a good cook to catch a man. Can't we move on?
I'm sort of tired of hearing about the confidence and men thing. It seems so outdated. It's kind of like talking about how a woman should be a good cook to catch a man. Can't we move on?
I agree. Its all so outmoded. just be who you are. I used to care about things like this, trying to figure my way through a litany of things necessary to be attractive to women or be a man. its all such bs. I now know its a waste of time. If a woman likes me fine. if not I figure I dodged a bullet. I am a man on my own terms and if that's not good enough so be it.
You know that you are attractive, in good shape, smart, and have a large bank account ... because others have told you so and not because you figured this out on your own. That's my PRACTICAL definition.
You don't need a large bank account to be confident
I'm sort of tired of hearing about the confidence and men thing. It seems so outdated. It's kind of like talking about how a woman should be a good cook to catch a man. Can't we move on?
I don't think that's a very accurate comparison. Lack of confidence remains a more universally unattractive thing to both men and women than lack of ability to cook. I don't see that changing anytime soon.
Quote:
Originally Posted by robertpolyglot
You know that you are attractive, in good shape, smart, and have a large bank account ... because others have told you so and not because you figured this out on your own. That's my PRACTICAL definition.
Eh, I dunno...I can think of plenty of people without those things who are confident and plenty of people with those things who aren't. In fact, it can often be insecurity that drives things like compulsive exercise or an obsessive focus on wealth acquisition. I also think the confidence has to come from you, not from what others tell you. (Why would you need others to tell you what's in your bank account, anyway?)
I'm sort of tired of hearing about the confidence and men thing. It seems so outdated. It's kind of like talking about how a woman should be a good cook to catch a man. Can't we move on?
I don't know what "confidence" means, either. If it means being an "alpha" and aspiring to be captain of the universe, then few people have this kind of confidence. I do agree, however, that this kind of confidence seems to attract certain kinds of women ... bimbos maybe, but that's how all these average-looking congressmen seem to get 20-year olds.
But if "confidence" means being at peace with yourself and who you are, I think very few people don't have confidence. Especially by the time you get to age 30.
I don't think that's a very accurate comparison. Lack of confidence remains a more universally unattractive thing to both men and women than lack of ability to cook. I don't see that changing anytime soon.
Again, what does this mean? I don't consider discomfort at meeting someone for the first time necessarily being a lack of confidence. At the end of the day, this person probably doesn't give a crap about what the other person thinks and is nervous because he is being put on the spot.
All else being equal, being confident and smooth is better than being nervous and apprehensive as a first impression, but just because someone is nervous and apprehensive doesn't mean he doesn't have confidence in himself.
"Confidence" like so much else in today's pop culture seems to be a figment of peoples' imaginations they get from the movies.
[quote=Plzeň;27906533]I don't think that's a very accurate comparison. Lack of confidence remains a more universally unattractive thing to both men and women than lack of ability to cook. I don't see that changing anytime soon.
I think this it is because when people bring up confidence its really a way of saying how a man is suppose to act in the traditional example "be in charge of the relationship" 'initiate all the time" and things of those nature.
I think this it is because when people bring up confidence its really a way of saying how a man is suppose to act in the traditional example "be in charge of the relationship" 'initiate all the time" and things of those nature.
I agree that this definition is old and busted and needs to DIAF. I think if you read this thread, though, that's not the definition most people are using. In fact, I tend to think the less confident a guy is, the more likely he is to feel the need to resort to that kind of B.S.
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There are a whole lot of people not at peace with who they are, it would seem.
