Most men find lightskin women attractive? (non-black, Asians, kids, Latin)
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Both of them are men and very racially mixed. Of course its not a big deal for them. Im being very truthful when I say its constantly brought up in my environment.
I'm a man and plenty Black. It means nothing to me or to my pitch-black grandmothers.
How can you not remotely think about the issue when its constantly brought up? Even if I wanted to forget about it, I couldn't. I had friends who talked about it, family members who discussed it. If you live in a black environment it is always discusssed. Coworkers, associates, it comes up some way or another about lighter and softer hair being better. I don't even watch television anymore because of it.
No Anna, it's discussed only in your immediate environment. If this is the hot topic at the dinnertable every single day and this is the daily watercooler convo then you seriously need to disconnect yourself from all that negativity. Of all the serious issues in the world like famine, destructive tornadoes, tsunamis, homelessness, etc, THIS is what you and your community and environment focus on? You allowed this to take over your life and you let it control how you live and how you think people are perceived. Have you seen all the dark skin models out there? It's not 1 or 2. Have you seen all the dark skin women married to white men? I'm sorry but you really beat the horse to death. If you put more energy into all the things that really matter in life, I bet you'd be a lot happier. It seems no matter what positive feedback you get or word of advice you get, you turn it around and constantly cry about it and make it all about you. That's not healthy. You know what I say? When life gives you lemons, throw some ice and vodka in it.
It's cultural and by the way, who cares if some do? Who cares even if most do? I don't need some men or most men, I just need (so to speak) one man.
"Most men" would also rate a tall, leggy woman over a short woman, too. Those men can go for the long and leggy, I would never be happy with them anyway if that's their viewpoint. Most men would probably be pro contacts, anti-glasses if given the option. I'm in no way hurt. I wear and rock my glasses. Blue eyes are supposedly the ideal (culturally). I have green eyes. I'm not worried. I don't expect to be "the ideal" because she doesn't exist -- I expect to be me and enjoy what I do.
If you feel beautiful, you feel beautiful no matter how deep or fair your skin tone. "Society" may seem to be telling men to appreciate lighter-skinned women more so than darker-skinned women, but since plenty of dark-skinned women date, marry, have families, etc., what society says obviously only goes so far in real life. I say, give men a little more credit than this.
I can see that OP is very fixated on lighter women being wanted MORE. If one would just pull the racial focus from it, she could see that this is just something that is the found in all cultures.
The "Trophy" Syndrome, as in "Look, everybody, WHO wanted ME" "Look, everybody, WHO I have with ME" It is present in some men's thinking, but not ALL. It is a very shallow, immature outlook on life. The idea of someone desiring me for the color of my skin gives me the creeps. Shades of Hannibal Lecter. So the question I would pose to the OP is: Why would she want to be in a position of being objectified by men who think this way? Where are her standards where she would demand to be desired for her mind or her goodness or anything else other than the physical. She's complaining because she is being deprived of the chance to be a token or a trophy?
I bet you right this instant, two Japanese ladies are bickering over something petty like this, who's a little bit taller, who's a bit more graceful or delicate and feminine, or any of the traits that cause Japanese women to be highly prized by men. My point is, this cuts across cultural lines. It's based in envy and immaturity, but it can be understood because the person was conditioned to be down on themselves because they were different. The antidote to this poison is for the person insist on defining themselves and not allow societal expectations to define them.
Why would she want to be in a position of being objectified by men who think this way? Where are her standards where she would demand to be desired for her mind or her goodness or anything else other than the physical. She's complaining because she is being deprived of the chance to be a token or a trophy?
I would be happier if i were in that position. For the women who are trophies they seem to enjoy it and I don't see them trading places so they aren't prized. Who wouldn't want to feel appreciated and highly valued? I know I do.
I would be happier if i were in that position. For the women who are trophies they seem to enjoy it and I don't see them trading places so they aren't prized. Who wouldn't want to feel appreciated and highly valued? I know I do.
Don't you think that if you re-read every single post and thread you have ever made about "why don't I have a man" they're all about you externalizing reasons why you don't have a man. There is no superficial reason why you don't have a man, it's a deep internal conflict and insecurity you have within yourself about your appearance, and how you perceive how acceptable you are in the world.
It's sad really. You should talk to a therapist, you're not going to find any answers on this message board that haven't been posted to you for the past few months which you completely ignore.
You continue to try to externalize why, and your number one complaint and only analysis on the topic is that "I'm too dark".
It has nothing to do with light or dark, it's what's dark inside of you that's keeping men away from you because they can sense your neediness and insecurity.
When you get a man, they're the wrong man - the users who can talk circles around you because you think that any attention from any man is better than none at all.
I wouldn't be surprised if you said you grew up without a father in your home. Good fathers give daughters backbone, one that you are sorely lacking.
You're wasting your time going around in circles about the same topic. Please find a therapist you trust to discuss your issues, you're not getting any younger to have this many problems socializing.
Gosh, OP you are really insecure, aren't you? Every other thread/post is about how men want this type or this race over that one. You are going to have a really hard time in this world with that line of thinking. So anyway, here's what most men want; most men are attracted to women who are secure and confident with themselves which obviously you are not, so how about forgetting bleaching your skin for now and work on your self esteem?
I would be happier if i were in that position. For the women who are trophies they seem to enjoy it and I don't see them trading places so they aren't prized. Who wouldn't want to feel appreciated and highly valued? I know I do.
I understand what you're saying. The need to feel appreciated and highly valued is very normal and natural for all people. Being appreciated and highly valued is like dessert or a great massage; it feels great while you're experiencing it, but the euphoria is strictly temporary. It doesn't last and men lusting after you adds no meaning or value to your life.
I haven't found that women who have several men drooling over them to be all that much happier than women who have found one man to LOVE and respect them--not just lust after them and pursue.
If you want more than just for men to pursue, you are going to have develop a love and appreciation for yourself so you can attract the right guys into your life. This is necessary and beneficial for ALL women to do--even for the women who never sit home on Saturday night. It's work on yourself. It's hard, it's lonely. It's boring. But it's GOOD for you.
Kick the work of developing you under the bed so to speak and you might wake up at 30, 35 or 40 and wonder where you have been all your life, because you haven't gotten anywhere. Time is precious. Don't waste it on things that don't matter in the long run, or things that feel good at first, but don't last.
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