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I like a man at work and we have a lot in common. We used to get on well, until my boss pointed out 'how well we were suited to each other...he would be ideal for me if he wasn't married' and she kept going on about it.
From then on I felt awkward talking to him after what she had pointed out, I wouldn't have thought about it otherwise and realised I have a crush on him. I started to distance myself from him knowing that nothing could happen between us.
This has gone on for months and sometimes he has seemed angry when I've not spoken to him or ignored him. I am very chatty with the other men at work so I guess it is quite obvious. I know it bothers him as he's mentioned it to a couple of work colleagues, thinking he has upset me.
Recently when we were out with work he asked me why we don't speak anymore and said he thought I was a nice person and that he would like me to take a day off with him and go walking. I would love to do this, but knowing how I like him thought better of it. I asked him if his wife would mind and he said that she never asked him where he went or with who. I thought this was a bit off and said I would think about it, but basically gave him the impression I didn't want to go.
I've not really spoken to him much since and lately he has started avoiding me. Whenever I go near him he walks off. He says things, but they are usually passing comments and he won't even look at me now.
I would like to get rid of my crush and enjoy a good working relationship with him, but don't know how to confront him about mine and his behaviour, as I don't know why he's acting the way he is. He's been extra chatty with my colleague, but tries to leave the room when I enter. I have to work with him occasionally and it is a small business. Distancing myself has made things worse and it's making me feel uncomfortable (and probably him too).
Seems to me that things are already better. Isnt he doing exactly what you need him to do?
Need him to do? Things are worse because I don't like an atmosphere at work and it's awkward. I don't want him to hate me, I just want things to be friendly again like they were at first.
Need him to do? Things are worse because I don't like an atmosphere at work and it's awkward. I don't want him to hate me, I just want things to be friendly again like they were at first.
Well in that case, I would imagine that your only option is to tell him exactly what you typed here, but highlight the fact that you would never consider anything more than a friendship. If the guy is staying away from you, at least you dont have the problem of being attracted to a guy whom you cant have.
Need him to do? Things are worse because I don't like an atmosphere at work and it's awkward. I don't want him to hate me, I just want things to be friendly again like they were at first.
Well, be friendly to him. You're the one that said that you stopped talking to him. But now you want things to be normal when you aren't even acting normal. Go back & read what you wrote. The ball is in your court. He doesn't even know that you like. So you're the one making it awkward.
I don't know why he's suddenly started avoiding me though, I don't understand what I've done.
What are you talking about? You said that you stopped talking to him. He saw that & probably felt like you disliked him so he stays away. Seems normal to me. The power is in your hands. Talk to like you do everyone else if you don't want any awkwardness.
No. I'd been off for a few days and he chatted to me a few times the day I came back. The first time we'd talked in ages. It was the day after. I just don't know what I did. I thought I was acting normal......trying to get things friendly again. That's why really I think it would be better to clear the air., but I don't know how to bring it up.
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