Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
I would almost bet money that you are focusing on the wrong kind of women if you have been told to your face by numerous women that you are unattractive. Decent, classy women do not do this, even if they ARE unattracted to you. If you choose to surround yourself with the sort of people who would call you ugly, rethink who you choose to surround yourself with. If the people you are around are a$$holes, surround yourself with better people.
I have known many different types of women and they all give me the same responses. Class or no class the results have been the same.
[quote=STT Resident;16279188]
Quote:
Originally Posted by MegamanX
I've changed my approuch. I've changed clothing styles, worked out, new hair styles, etc.
But the whole list is all about working on superficial change. In other words trying to create an externally changed personae. You don't seem to get it that what so many posters have been trying to tell you is that this IS all superficial and doesn't address the root problem which is that your basic personality is the issue and which is the turnoff.
As far as dating someone with a deformity. I'm only open to date someone with the same deformity.
That's a very peculiar comment.
I'm not looking for pity. I'm looking for help. I've tried just about anything one can ask me to do reasonabley on my own.[
Then listen, hear, stop being so quick to defend your position. /QUOTE]
MegamanX - Read and re-read the above until you're painfully squinting and your brain is hurting. Nobody who's responded is upset with you but most are simply trying to help you out by trying to make you see what you can't seem to see. We all have our crosses to bear in some respect or another but you need to understand that you're not "deformed" but just need some help working on your self image so you can get over the jug/cupped ears you're wrongfully blaming. Good luck!
There's nothing wrong with my personality. I'm social and outgoing. I don't have problems talking to people. I have a good sense humor and will laugh with people. There's nothing about me that is considered socially awkward.
I went to therapy last Friday. The counselor strongly recommended surgery.
By working out I've been gaining weight. I've not noticed it until yesterday when I had a problem putting on my shirt. People tell me, I'm gaining weight, but I don't see it.
I've changed my clothing style earlier this year. I use to mostly wear sports appeal a lot in high school and early college. Now I wear better clothes and better sizes for me.
I must be honest. I use not to walk with my head up and straight. I use to walk hunched. The habit started in High School because I had to carry all of my books and supplies with me to every class because my locker was no where near any of my classes. Some other students also had this problem. However, I've gotten over that bad habit
Most women here are lying. Just like when they say they want honesty and loyalty and blah blah blah. They are liars. They know their agendas are being exposed.
Dude, get LOTS of money, get plastic surgery and voila.
Most women here are lying. Just like when they say they want honesty and loyalty and blah blah blah. They are liars. They know their agendas are being exposed.
Dude, get LOTS of money, get plastic surgery and voila.
I wouldn't go as far as saying that they are lying, but sometimes they just tell you what they would LIKE to want, instead of what they actually want.
I've had some women tell me they don't care much about physique and mysteriously I often see them with tall muscular guys. I guess these men were all very confident and caring (sarcasm).
You problems don't lie with your looks, hair, body or clothing. The problem is your attitude & lack of self confidence. Women will not date a guy who lacks personality because very often those same men lack motivation. They don't make for good boyfriends, husbands or fathers and women have radar that homes in on that. You said you are from TN and I am too so I know for a fact TN girls are very forgiving about looks and weight. What they are interested in is guys who are confident because that comes across as manliness and good husband material. TN women marry at a higher percentage than in many other states and marry younger and have more kids. They don't care about the shape of your stupid ears! I know 500 lb men who are married so I know they don't care about looks in general. Heck that's obvious if you see all the non-attractive men in town with their wives.
Your only problem is personality. A good therapist will help you more than any plastic surgeon. I think if you did get your ears fixed you would find you still wouldn't attract girls so then you are really going to feel foolish wasting all that money for nothing. It may also be the way you approach girls. I know many an awkward guy who is so desperate for a woman that they come across as creepy stalkers. Nothing will make a woman run faster! I have to say you come across in a way that reminds me of a number of Aspergers Syndrome guys I've known. Do you have this because that could be the whole problem with dating.
There's nothing wrong with my personality. I'm very social. I have a good sense of humor. This semester I've been more involved with events on campus with the two clubs I am a member of. I have built friendships with women. They have no interest in dating me.
What does being told by women, I'm physically unattractive have to do with Aspergers Syndrome? I got the vibe you believe this simply because I have a deformity.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Davros
I'm not upset with you.
I've given you my suggestion: therapy, especially group therapy. I think it can help you sort out your myths and excuses. Seeking therapy does not mean there's anything wrong with you. It means you are seeking help with something that upsets you. Clearly this issue is upsetting you.
I also really like robee70's post: focus on making friendships with women while pursuing your interests and career, not worrying about whether they are lusting for you or not. As you say, whether women are lusting over you or not you can't control, but you can control your interests and your own seeking out of friendships.
That's all I got. I'm done with this thread. Good luck ! You've got a promising future ! Focus on the good, not the bad !
I didn't go to group therapy. However, I went to see a school counselor. We spent about an hour talking about my life, childhood, and how I feel about my ears. He highly recommends surgery to solve the problem.
Quote:
Originally Posted by MattB4
I have no pity. But I do have a thought beyond the cookie cutter advice that is thrown at a person in your position. Study your opponent (women), learn what makes them tick, not the surface generalities, but what motivates them. Learn to play to those motivations. Women are really quite simple critters. Regular feeding, some petting and taking them out for a walk regularly will make them faithful companions. You just are spending too much time on your appearance and not anytime on understanding the opposite sex.
Trust me, even great looking guys can have difficulty if they fail to see womens sneaky flirtations. Just asking girls out never works. You have to have established before hand the necessary desire on their part to be asked.
I have women friends who I do talk to everyday or every other day. I watch how my friends talk to women and how they hit on them. Women are very turned off if I hit on them like my friends hit on women or flirt with women. Women get very offended and disgusted by me if I show any form of interest.
Two of my friends have eczema. One of them has really bad eczema while the other one doesn't have it all bad. Yesterday I asked my friend, the one with the really bad eczema, if he has a tough time finding dates and he said no. I ask him how many of the girls that he liked and dated and show interested in ever had issues with his eczema and he said NONE. I ask him if girls ever made a big deal out of it and he said none. One, he is fairly a good looking man (nothing like brad pitt) but for an average Asian, yes. I mean he's 5'5 too. HUGE difference from your height to his. Two, he's not going to allow his eczema to stop him from getting dates. Three, he believes that eczema helps to humble him in a lot of ways. My friend has a very nice man, very social and has a good personality. Whenever I talk to him I don't even notice his eczema or I forget that he has eczema.
So I don't know.. Perhaps you might have allowed your ear deformity to stop you from attracting women thus it lowers your confidence.
I have women friends who I do talk to everyday or every other day. I watch how my friends talk to women and how they hit on them. Women are very turned off if I hit on them like my friends hit on women or flirt with women. Women get very offended and disgusted by me if I show any form of interest.
I don't know. Maybe I should show a picture.
If the girls you "hit' on act this way, (I am guessing this is your College girls) than you might be looking in the wrong place. Or simply, this socioeconomic girl has a lot to choose from. It is to be expected you have no luck, because you are competing with all the other College guys for their favor.
You might be just in the wrong place (or age) to have any success.
I don't know you, but have read this entire thread. If your ears really bother you as much as they seem to, go talk to a plastic surgeon - many consultations are free. Find out how much it will cost to fix, get a part time job, save your money, and pay to get them fixed to your liking. It's amazing what can be fixed with plastic surgery.
I don't know you, but have read this entire thread. If your ears really bother you as much as they seem to, go talk to a plastic surgeon - many consultations are free. Find out how much it will cost to fix, get a part time job, save your money, and pay to get them fixed to your liking. It's amazing what can be fixed with plastic surgery.
Thats what I say, f it, get them bad boys trimmed down.
Its cheaper than therapy......
Please register to post and access all features of our very popular forum. It is free and quick. Over $68,000 in prizes has already been given out to active posters on our forum. Additional giveaways are planned.
Detailed information about all U.S. cities, counties, and zip codes on our site: City-data.com.
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
(sarcasm).
