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Attracting girls is a art. You have to see how others perceive you. Do they see you as the party-er, social butterfly, the cool swuave guy, easy-going guy, science guy, political guy, smart guy, dorky, stick his foot in his mouth guy, or funny guy? Many more too.
My friends see me as the never know what she is going to say gal. Plus they tell me I make them all at ease part of the group.
we control our own behavior, so "be yourself" was never helpful advice to me.
i take it as: learn what is important to you, and don't compromise that. (i don't like being spoken to in certain ways, for example) you will be happier and other people will appreciate this quality in you. it is equally important to learn what is not important to you, and stay open minded.
but, uh, attracting women: work yourself into physical shape, wear clothes that fit, be calm, funny, and pleasant, but assertive with what you want. pay attention to how others react and you will figure it out.
If you happen to be a passionate about phychology do not use what you learn on people. People get most negative reponses if you try to figure out what is wrong with them and rub it in their faces. What I would suggest you do is focus on small talk instead of Informing people of you state of mind entertain people with your state of mind. Example Did you know that David this this to me and blablabla (gossip is boring). Instead focus on telling a story with a beginning, an action, important details and an unexpected ending. The best entertainers are those who can fuel imagination by using words.
I was walking down the street and....
(you see where i'm going with this) - Our natural curiosity wants to know what happened next.
Picking up women is the same concept applied with the objective of getting something out of them. Before you can get anywhere you need to give something before you can get something in return. The exchange becomes automatic once you can clearly communicate your emotions verbally.
Practice is your best friend. Take as many opportunities to meet new people as you can even if you fear how badly they might react. Fight or Flight concept in phychology - you either face the problem or flee the problem.
Once you meet a girl that seems to be interrested in you, invite her to do activities such as going to the amusement park. Rollercoasters are know to trigger Pleasure/Fear At the end of the day if everything went well she might like you more than she did and not even realize why. You gave her a sense of security while her senses were going haywire in the Rollercoaster.
Learn to spot interest (e.g., women getting near you and flicking the hair). They usually show interest subconsciously. They will get near you if they think you are not on the prowl. You achieve this by making it seem as if they came upon you. Then, you catch them looking at you. Then you reward her with a look that says you are desirable. It only takes 1/2 second to tell if its on. If she doesn't reciprocate instantly--move on. She probably is getting hers elsewhere. Don't think that giving more interest will some how open the door. Time is your enemy. Don't wait for her to change her mind--it may never happen. If she's shy, she may have a low sex drive. Don't try to meet women in locations where they are standing up--unless its a long line. You need 10-15 minutes of time to flirt in a sit-down environment. Cold approaching is too hard on the male ego over time and most women don't respond to a man on the prowl. Try this and you can put a check in the mail after my strategies bring you success.
I would suggest joining some clubs ie. hiking club or pre-law or whatever interest you. Go to the clubs, be a willing participant and meet people with similar interests.
It's easier to meet people in a group setting, where you can introduce yourself w/o seeming like your trying to pick someone up. If you feel sparks after a couple meetings, ask the girl out afterwards for a coffee.
Self confidence is the most attractive trait a person can have, so work on making sure you feel good about yourself. Take time to be well groomed, wear, decent clothes and ask questions about HER and HER studies, job etc.. A lot of men, when they get nervous, start reeling off their stats and end up sounding like a self-involved boobie!
Thanks for reading. I am going into a new situation for my education and i was wondering how i could be good at attracting women and flirting? I am a younger male and I have been pretty poor at this in the past. I am really just listening to suggestions. Thanks for the help.
Stop trying to flirt and just learn to talk to them. I've said this so many times on this forum.
Learn to socialize with women. Don't try to pick them up, don't try to get their phone number, just learn to talk to them, with substance. I am not talking ultra heavy conversation. Just conversation that flows naturally.
I've been doing it for years, and it seems to work very well. It's stress free and no one feels obligated. You're just talking. In doing this you're both giving each other a reason to exchange numbers because you've both added value to the conversation which is the starting point.
Also, you'll meet a lot of women doing it this way. You'll meet women in places you'd never thought about.
Going back to my thread about What does "I will not settle mean", this is the underlying method that caused me to check myself and my so called "requirements and standards". Once I started talking to women WITHOUT an agenda all that "I have standards" crap went out of the window.
I was finally able to interact with women without a "mental checklist". It has done wonders for my dating life. You'll be amazed at how many people out there that WILL meet your "standards". The problem is the way in which people approach it.
It's like a sales job, people will not buy from you if you've not added any value.
Good luck and have fun.
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