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Am planning a move to the area for a job, but also suddenly faced with being 31 and single again. I'm freaking out a little bit since I am truly "starting over". I know it's a good opportunity, but the fear is still there.
I'd like some advice on good places to live...searching the threads it seems like Glenwood area is nice, but I am not really into the bar scene and don't want to hang with the early-20 crowd (no offense to you guys, just want different things in life!). I plan to try meetup to get some female friends, as least, join an adult sport league, etc. I've read these in other threads and they sound like good ideas (I'm a little shy but will muster up the courage).
I generally don't date men younger than me, but from the threads it looks as if the 30-something dating scene is not so good, or at least that it's hard to meet people unless you want to do online dating (done it in the past, not interested). Please say that's not true...
Looking for general advice on relocation, things to try, places to check out, and social supports. I'm looking forward to the new job, but there won't be many people my age I can lean on.
P.S. Moving from NY (past 8 years) but am native of Washington D.C./VA area, so I'm not really worried about culture shock - though I know I'll miss the northeast.
My best advice is to move somewhere convenient to work and then meet people wherever after. No use being close to social stuff you may or may not end up enjoying but far from work. I have 4 or 5 early 30s guy friends that I'm always dying to set up with someone, but I never meet any women in their 30s who are single.
Wait - I'm looking for single men in their 30s and am having lots of trouble! Where do they hang out? I get the impression pretty much everyone goes downtown these days, but I struggle with that scene....I also don't work near downtown
cry884, I'll let you know when I'm down there..maybe we can get a set up .. guest, maybe you can be my wing-girl?
I'm stuck looking at the internet for now to get ideas of apartments nearby - though I will take a trip down to check them out in person. I think I'd feel better at least starting in a complex for awhile, since I'm not familiar enough with the area to attempt other types of rentals. Up to $1000 range would be fine, 2br. It seems like there are a lot of complexes in the area.
Last edited by runbean009; 08-21-2011 at 06:36 PM..
Being a recently-single 31yo guy looking to move to RTP to reset my life and also wondering what the dating scene looks like in that area, this thread made me smile.
I guess i disagree with the advice to live near your work. If you work in RTP, then your choices mostly big apartment complexes in Morrisville or suburbs...to me not the best places to meet people. I would move either to Durham or Raleigh, to some of the younger, funkier neighborhoods, so you can be near things to do and other people. In Raleigh, that would be 5 points, Glenwood/Brooklyn, downtown, Boylan Heights (where the neighorhood will consume you into their events quickly, trust me), maybe Glenwood South (although at night, it certainly is more 20-something), or anywhere in the Wade Ave. corridor. Then, as you say, start hanging out at the nearest indy coffee shop on Saturday mornings, or get involved in an issue that matters to you, join a church if that's your thing, Bike first Friday with the very mixed crowd, etc. etc. You'll meet people before you know it.
My best advice is to move somewhere convenient to work and then meet people wherever after. No use being close to social stuff you may or may not end up enjoying but far from work.
My advice would be the complete opposite. I cannot tell you how many people I know who took the advice to live near RTP and ended up moving from the burbs to nearer (or in) DT Raleigh.
Contrary to popular belief, it's not difficult to get from DT Raleigh to RTP. When I am in Raleigh, I do that commute and it's not that bad at all and is pretty much a straight shot out Wade Ave. The other popular belief is that one will save time and gas by being close to work. For many single people, that's simply not true. Case in point is my neighbor in DT Raleigh. He's in his early 30s, single and works in RTP. He used to live in a house in Southern Durham near RTP but not near anything he liked to do socially. His commute was shorter but he was putting thousands of extra miles on his car per year "commuting" to do the sort of fun things that a single professional wants to do when not at work. He keeps tedious notes on how much he drives/gas consumption per year and tells me that he's actually shaved thousands of miles per year since moving to downtown. Simply put, he now drives longer to work but much, much less after work and on weekends.
My advice to all single people is to live where other single people live. You'll be happier and, in your case, the culture shock will probably be less.
Good luck to the OP!
Full disclosure: Yes. I am single.
I know there's a Raleigh-Durham debate going on in these threads all the time..I'm not trying to go there. I'm not too worried about commute. I think ~30 min would be reasonable (though I am probably spoiled as I have a 20 minute, traffic-free commute right now). I've seen in this forum that traffic into RTP can be bad at peak hours, which is probably when I'd be going in. So there aren't many complexes in downtown Raleigh, right? I am comfortable doing the Craigslist, etc. thing if I know the area but am hesitant in this case. Maybe I will scope the threads for a tour guide when I make a trip down to check out apartments.
I thought about moving someplace very close to work but agree that I probably will never get out to meet people if I do. I want to make friends as well as date.. I just don't what to be smack in the middle of everything where parking stinks and rent is ridiculous. Living in NY, very familiar with this.
If you can afford it, you might want to consider staying at an extended stay hotel for a week or so to do some exploration (I did that when I moved to Wilmington), or maybe sign a short-term lease (some in RTP may offer good deals, since I think people frequently come in for short stays in the area)?
I did commute into RTP from I/40-440 (near Cary/Raleigh border) - it was a straight shot down 40, but I worked early hours so I didn't have to fight traffic. A good day, the commute would take 10-15 minutes....a bad one, 45min-1hour. Good luck!!
I know there's a Raleigh-Durham debate going on in these threads all the time..I'm not trying to go there. I'm not too worried about commute. I think ~30 min would be reasonable (though I am probably spoiled as I have a 20 minute, traffic-free commute right now). I've seen in this forum that traffic into RTP can be bad at peak hours, which is probably when I'd be going in. So there aren't many complexes in downtown Raleigh, right? I am comfortable doing the Craigslist, etc. thing if I know the area but am hesitant in this case. Maybe I will scope the threads for a tour guide when I make a trip down to check out apartments.
I thought about moving someplace very close to work but agree that I probably will never get out to meet people if I do. I want to make friends as well as date.. I just don't what to be smack in the middle of everything where parking stinks and rent is ridiculous. Living in NY, very familiar with this.
It's all going to be relative. NOTHING in Raleigh or the Triangle is going to be ridiculous compared to NYC. Hell, not much is going to be ridiculous compared to DC either.
As for the DT and adjacent neighborhoods, it can run the whole gamut. You will not find anything like Manhattan ($$$$) in the Triangle for sure. Even the most expensive places will have parking for your car and evening and weekend parking for guests is not a huge problem compared to large cities. People may fight to find free spaces late in the weekend evenings but most times it's manageable. Just do yourself a favor and don't get sucked into living near RTP as a single person just because your job is there. More than likely, you'll be unhappy.
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