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Old 05-23-2024, 10:44 AM
 
2,182 posts, read 1,083,691 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by tnff View Post
What do you mean by "sedentary" people? If the question really is simply about people who are reading and not running around doing something, then that is a very different question than one about guests who aren't helping around the house. If that's the real question, then all the other information is a distraction from the question.

But seriously, why would anyone be bothered by seeing someone else just reading? Really, how does someone reading "suck the life out of a room?" Perhaps the OP should be asking why seeing someone reading rather than doing things the OP would do bother them so much.
Do you bother reading before posting?

the best way I can describe it is by comparing it to a blowhard/extrovert who "sucks the life out of a room" with non-stop chatter, interrupting, mansplaining, bouncing around, etc. I understand many people would find that person bothering. One might be led to believe that the opposite personality, sedentary and inactive, would be a pleasure by comparison. I have not found it so, and was curious about other's experiences.
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Old 05-23-2024, 10:56 AM
 
Location: Southeast
2,097 posts, read 1,061,825 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by tnff View Post
But seriously, why would anyone be bothered by seeing someone else just reading?

For me personally, my living areas are where I hang out and watch TV, read, etc., and if someone is there constantly not doing anything and not being verbal, just acting like a potato, I would probably get a little peeved about it, because I like my privacy.

This situation wouldn't happen in my home because I wouldn't offer up my personal space for weeks at a time in the first place. But my house isn't as large as OP's apparently is, either, so the person would be a lot more in the way at my house.

To me, it's about having your personal space invaded. Even if they are being quiet and not doing anything, they are there. You can't act like yourself, like walking around without a bra or shorts, or make some Ramen without feeling like you have to offer some to the potato, etc. I get how it could be annoying.
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Old 05-23-2024, 11:01 AM
 
22,150 posts, read 13,206,583 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by rokuremote View Post
the best way I can describe it is by comparing it to a blowhard/extrovert who "sucks the life out of a room" with non-stop chatter, interrupting, mansplaining, bouncing around, etc. I understand many people would find that person bothering. One might be led to believe that the opposite personality, sedentary and inactive, would be a pleasure by comparison. I have not found it so, and was curious about other's experiences.
I think the opposite of an extrovert (some even reach the level of EXTRA-vert; I know a few) who demand all the attention in a social setting would be the quiet, reserved person who doesn't talk a lot or perform for others, but simply listens and interjects a comment here and there. They're still engaged socially, only subtly. That's different from someone who's totally checked out and giving "don't bother me" vibes while being physically present.
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Old 05-23-2024, 11:07 AM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by otterhere View Post
I think the opposite of an extrovert (some even reach the level of EXTRA-vert; I know a few) who demand all the attention in a social setting would be the quiet, reserved person who doesn't talk a lot or perform for others, but simply listens and interjects a comment here and there. They're still engaged socially, only subtly. That's different from someone who's totally checked out and giving "don't bother me" vibes while being physically present.
I was trying to compare two extremes, yes. So yeah, an EXTRA-vert would be one extreme and what I'm referring to would be the other. No occasional comments, no sign that they're listening. Checked out. I would walk back into the main room from my home office and they would look up and flinch and then go back to reading/phone. Over and over. If I make a little small talk they seem confused. I'll kindly offer to set them up on a chaise outside, and they'll be non-plussed. If they had been diagnosed with something I'd understand. I just think it's somehow how they've chosen to age.
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Old 05-23-2024, 11:21 AM
 
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Am I bothered by sedentary people. No. A sedentary person is a human being that is sedentary.

I am bothered by criminals, deviants, etc.

My life may appear active, but it drains me and I have no energy for some of the things that really matter. Does my active appearing life make me a better person? Absolutely not.

Some people are bothered by what I do (mostly the exercize) and have expressed such.
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Old 05-23-2024, 11:31 AM
 
2,182 posts, read 1,083,691 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by clevergirl67 View Post

To me, it's about having your personal space invaded. Even if they are being quiet and not doing anything, they are there. You can't act like yourself, like walking around without a bra or shorts, or make some Ramen without feeling like you have to offer some to the potato, etc. I get how it could be annoying.
Funny you say that.

Before the visit we were super clear that they are 100% welcome and free to do what they want and never have to ask for food or to use anything in the house, while at the same time letting them know we aren't going to be able to be a personal chef and chauffer and cruise director. It was really clear. This person 1000% can cook for themself, does it all the time. But at our place it seems like they won't even open the fridge unless we remind them over and over.
Two nights a week I get home super late and don't cook or eat dinner and I'll get home and they won't have eaten. I just go to bed.
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Old 05-23-2024, 11:41 AM
 
Location: Kansas
26,107 posts, read 22,297,853 times
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Yes. I think that it sucks energy from the environment! It isn't good when it is a spouse for darn sure!
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Old 05-23-2024, 12:13 PM
 
2,596 posts, read 2,714,373 times
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If their lifestyle intrudes on mine, if I am not able to enjoy enough things with them, then I get annoyed. I've bumped into a few sedentary people who won't make certain efforts because they are lazy and/or too selfish to reciprocate on others' interests besides their own. So, it would bother me in this sense. . .
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Old 05-23-2024, 12:22 PM
 
2,596 posts, read 2,714,373 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Tzaphkiel View Post
it bothers me at work having a co-worker who is very slow in getting tasks done and wastes a lot of time. she literally sits at her desk and stares at the screen. that bothers me. i would say she is very sedentary. it's interesting the opening post uses the phrase "sucks the life out of the house" because i experience it that way too. It is very draining being around this person because it feels like they are sucking energy out of the room. ugh.
Staring at screens for a long time can make us more easily sedentary. It's called "Digital Wellness". Maybe, she actually needs to take more breaks away from the screen, and this could help her be a little productive. Especially if she does a little laundry or dishes during the break or mini-exercises or stretches if she works from home.
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Old 05-23-2024, 03:52 PM
 
12,921 posts, read 9,184,219 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by rokuremote View Post
Do you bother reading before posting?

the best way I can describe it is by comparing it to a blowhard/extrovert who "sucks the life out of a room" with non-stop chatter, interrupting, mansplaining, bouncing around, etc. I understand many people would find that person bothering. One might be led to believe that the opposite personality, sedentary and inactive, would be a pleasure by comparison. I have not found it so, and was curious about other's experiences.
Yes, I do bother to read. That's why I asked the question because being bothered by someone who is doing nothing to bother you is so out of the norm that I wasn't sure that was what you were asking. Did you bother to ask them why they sit quietly and read?
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