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Sounds like some of my family members and their issues go back several generations. I think the problems all stem from undiagnosed mental issues, inborn and/or some type of abuse, usually sexual. These people go on to breed with others similar to themselves and compound the problems their kids have. As others have stated, attention seeking behavior seems to be very commonplace. Some women are like the mother who talk too much and drool over random men's compliments and some like to prove themselves in front of others by talking with a foul mouth and threatening to fight anyone and everyone. As sade693 said, it also takes A LOT of effort and determination to break free of the mindset caused from being raised in a disturbed environment.
I wonder what these girls Dad was like when he was still alive? I wonder what the dynamic was between him and his wife who sounds like an enabler? I would bet money that these girls were sexually abused by someone at some point in time. I'd also bet that the people in this family come from a long line of dysfunction spanning generations.
I thought the very same thing. These girls could well have had a very bad childhood. And who knows what kind of mom she was like when they were young. It's highly unlikely that all three kids turned out "bad". I hope they and their children get the help they need.
I don't know how she or her husband were as parents. That might answer some questions. Maybe I'm fooled by the loving way they talk about the dad/husband after he passed on. You would think with the way they worship him that he was a great father and husband. She and her children are still real close to his family.
I will act uninterested more or less next time I see her and she starts talking about some of her drama. I personally just don't like to hear about it. She needs to save that kind of talk for someone that enjoys drama. It's just not my thing.
Just thinking about the poor grandchildren is so sad and depressing.
My guess is that if she is the way you have described with you, Momma has drama-queened and overshared her way through single life with the daughters as well. She has probably been "Friend Mom", and also along the way may have treated the daughters as confidantes before they needed to be thrust into an adult world. I don't quite know how to explain the sexual acting-out based upon the pieces you know, but it's possible they picked that up on their own, after they figured out via Mom-talk that the best thing you can aspire to be in the world is attractive to the menfolk. It's also possible that during their formative years Mom brought home man-messes like the kind you have described the adult daughters hooking up with now. The entire situation just generically screams "modeling-type behaviors" to me...
I have to come back to this thread because I'm so disgusted. I do really get upset how these grand kids are raised...dysfunctional, no moral single 'moms'.
For instance: I did babysit one 7 year old child for a couple of hours near the end of the school year. I asked her how her day at school was and she was telling me about how they had career day at school and that there was a policewoman there. She then tells me about how she raised her hand in class to tell the officer that her mom got caught for a DUI and was doing drugs and had to go to jail (so sad that this is how she thinks of her mother and doesn't realize this isn't normal or something to brag about). She said the officer then told her that she was sure her mommy was very pretty because she was very pretty and that she felt her mom had learned by her mistake and was doing better.
I about died that this little girl knew about drugs and DUIs. Why are people discussing DUIs and jail with her?
Also I just happened to have to be around her the other day. Her mom was the porn star, druggie, prostitute but her grandma had her for the day. All 3 kids were taken from the mom temporarily while she traveled to a different area of the country to be in porn movie, prostitute. The mom has since come back and living with great-grandma. Great grandma wants to help her gain custody of her kids again so this child has moved in with mom and great grandma.
What bothers me so much is that this child was around me again and was telling me about how this one went to talk to judge and this was going on, etc. Why does this little sweet girl at her age know about judges and courts and all that is going on? They keep nothing from this child.
Is it good to be so honest to this child at such a young age? I can't help but think all this drama around her with being moved from house to house is giving her any stability at all in her life. I have to fight so so so hard to keep my thoughts to myself but it kills me how these children are treated.
The thing is, if the 'mom' gets custody of this particular child, she gets some child support from the baby daddy (not sure I believe this) and money from the government. I'm thinking the money is a big motivating factor for her to want her kid back.....not that she loves and misses her. When she was a druggy, prostitute and porn star just a year ago, it makes me skeptical. Such a sad situation for the children.
I even wonder if child protective services even know why the 'mother. traveled across country for a year (porn, prostitution) abandoned her kids. All I do is see the mom getting the kid back and using the money to buy drugs and neglecting the kid/s that she might get back.
Last edited by diddlydudette; 06-20-2014 at 06:51 AM..
Sigh... I would guess they're probably not discussing these things with her, so much as mom/g'ma can't stop themselves running their mouths on cell phones in her earshot. At least I hope not, I'm trying to imagine Grandma explaining DUIs and jail in great detail, instead of just saying "Mommy has to be somewhere for a while", or whatever any person with a shred of common sense would say. Poor little scrap is probably thirsting for good role models, and thought she would win some points by understanding Officer Friendly's "world".
That policewoman was great though! I wonder if they get training on how to handle the oversharers before they go out as presenters?
I get that you're an obvious troll/crazyperson who is wrong on just about everything you said in your post but, I am pretty sure you're wrong on this too.
“I am aware that I am less than some people prefer me to be, but most people are unaware that I am so much more than what they see.â€
― Douglas Pagels
In Internet slang, a troll (/ˈtroʊl/, /ˈtrɒl/) is a person who sows discord on the Internet by starting arguments or upsetting people,[1] by posting inflammatory,[2]extraneous, or off-topic messages in an online community (such as a newsgroup, forum, chat room, or blog) with the deliberate intent of provoking readers into an emotional response[3] or of otherwise disrupting normal on-topic discussion.[4]
it would seem were both guilty and now i interrupted to lower myself to your intelligence
Forum my apologies forgive my disrespect of the original topic
Read the book "The Nurture Assumption". Peers play a stronger role than parents want to admit in how their kids turn out. IMO, the order is peers, nature then nurture. I think nurture can only do so much. If you really want to have an impact on your kids an increase their chances of success, give them the right peers.
If I had understood the impact of peers when my kids were young, I would have bit the bullet and bought a house in an area with great schools even if I had to be house poor. Hind sight is always 20/20. Besides genes, I didn't realize until it was too late that my biggest contribution to my kids was choosing where they would grow up. I could have done better there.
I can see where this is very true. My parents were lower middle class, but they managed to buy a house in the only small, cheaper neighborhood in an otherwise upper middle to upper class school district when I hit 3rd grade.
All my friends had college-educated, professional parents. Mine weren't, but they were involved enough to make sure I went to school and got good grades. But anyway, the reason I tried and got good grades was because all my friends were on the honor roll, and it would have embarassed me if I wasn't on the honor roll every semester too. And because all my friends were going to college, I wanted to go too. I had to spend 4 years in the military and get the GI Bill to pay for my college, but I went and earned my degree, without any parental help.
My friends in high school weren't drinking, doing drugs, or having sex. So neither did I. Peers do have great influence.
As for the OP, dysfunction is a vicious cycle that's hard to break in families. I can only think of one family I've known where one kid turned out very successful and the other ended up on drugs and in prison (polar opposites). Usually they all end up at least in the same ballpark, so to speak. Where do you think all these trashy people come from on Maury Povich?? Horribly dysfunctional families! Unfortunately.
Sometimes it's just a matter of stupid. Stupidity can be a choice, and some just choose it. You do see these people on daytime TV. They don't seem to be able to answer a straightforward question with a relevant response or to understand that what their opponent said about their mama five years ago has nothing to do with the case at hand. Willful stupidity has reached epidemic proportions.
I can see where this is very true. My parents were lower middle class, but they managed to buy a house in the only small, cheaper neighborhood in an otherwise upper middle to upper class school district when I hit 3rd grade.
All my friends had college-educated, professional parents. Mine weren't, but they were involved enough to make sure I went to school and got good grades. But anyway, the reason I tried and got good grades was because all my friends were on the honor roll, and it would have embarassed me if I wasn't on the honor roll every semester too. And because all my friends were going to college, I wanted to go too. I had to spend 4 years in the military and get the GI Bill to pay for my college, but I went and earned my degree, without any parental help.
My friends in high school weren't drinking, doing drugs, or having sex. So neither did I. Peers do have great influence.
As for the OP, dysfunction is a vicious cycle that's hard to break in families. I can only think of one family I've known where one kid turned out very successful and the other ended up on drugs and in prison (polar opposites). Usually they all end up at least in the same ballpark, so to speak. Where do you think all these trashy people come from on Maury Povich?? Horribly dysfunctional families! Unfortunately.
I agree about the peers. That plays a huge role. Congrats on your accomplishments!
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