What's with this mentality against people who move here? (Portland: 2015, live)

[^Eagle^]

I was born and raised in Maine and up until 2009 have lived in New England my whole life. In 2009 i decided to go down to Florida for the winter and i ended up staying there until 2015. I've been back for 3 months now and i notice that even friends and family can act pretty weird towards me. I'm not sure whats going on exactly but putting the very gloomy overly emotional and insecure culture stuff aside for a minute, it seems like there is a New England vs everyone else mentality going on. Even though most my life i've lived here it seems i am now "somebody else". The people i vibe with the best are people who have also spent time outside of New England or the more city type people. Like i say even long time friends of mine act weird towards me. The vibes not the same. Some of them just avoid me but the ones that do hang out, many of them take no hesitation to bash Florida if they can. They also seem very sensitive and almost insecure. Constantly looking to prove themselves or play weird ego games.

Am i missing something here -- why this kind of attitude? It seems relatively consistent. I admit i don't have an accent anymore, dress a little different (no flannel type stuff/more flashy), articulate myself more clearly, have a more positive mentality. Is that the issue? Can someone please fill me in? It's sort of insane and i don't get it. Id like to try to understand. Sometimes i think i might just have to leave this place behind at this point.

[kellysmith]

Originally Posted by ^Eagle^

Am i missing something here -- why this kind of attitude? It seems relatively consistent. I admit i don't have an accent anymore, dress a little different (no flannel type stuff/more flashy), articulate myself more clearly, have a more positive mentality. Is that the issue? Can someone please fill me in? It's sort of insane and i don't get it. Id like to try to understand. Sometimes i think i might just have to leave this place behind at this point.

Don't take it wrong, but from reading what you wrote, it seems like you feel like you're cut from a different cloth now. It might be that folks are picking up that vibe. As the wise man say, when you point a finger at someone else, there are three fingers pointing back at you.

[Maineac]

Yeah, we moved out for nearly 16 years, but back all the time. The vibe is "you abandoned us." My old man sold my 10 gauge lever action Winchester shotgun that was my grandfather's. For under 1/4 of what it was worth. He also sold my 14' aluminum Starcraft and a trailer I bought down to Branch Pond Marine. One of my sisters grabbed my 1930's White canoe and now lays claim to it. I believe it was just to teach me a lesson. Both of our mothers passed away while we were gone. How DARE we not suffer economically in Maine - or make it - like everyone else? Just a fact of life, let it go and enjoy what's around you.

Years ago, I felt like I could never live anywhere else, but had to get out of here on a regular basis and explore the world. It's getting crowded to me these days, and I'm inclined to think about getting another boat and pushing down the ICW, off to the Bahamas and cruise the Caribbean again. But I'd need regular fixes of early trout season, deer season, etc.

I can talk like I was born on a worm flat in East Machias if I have to, or speak linguistically correctly without the inflection. Depends on the number of beers or who I'm around.

[^Eagle^]

Yeah i get the "you abandoned us" type vibe too. I got another friend who left and says the same stuff, so i know it's not in my imagination.

I'm just trying to understand it because like Kelly said if i keep seeing it as petty and insecure then they will pick up on that vibe. I just am having a hard time with it because for me, even before i left, i use to have friends that had traveled and moved different places. I even dated a couple girls who were from other area's of the country. I was always curious about them and wanted to know what other places were like. I don't expect people to be like that towards me, but it would be cool if they could just chill and be cool, and stop worrying about what i think about them or treating me like an outsider or whatever this is. I mean damn, i've lived in New England longer than some of the people who are treating me like an outsider. Lol.

[Maineac]

Hey, I still get it from family even after being back for over 2 years. Wife doesn't get it at all from her family. Shrug it off and live for today.

[thisiswater]

I think this is a combination of things. Part of it is "you abandoned us." Also, some people who have stayed put their entire lives
have a kind of envy, I think. You spread your wings. You are now, I would hope, more broadminded. I moved around during my childhood (corporate brat), and my husband and I have lived many places. Lots of natives feel insecure that they never took the plunge to experience another part of the country/world. You represent their "what might have been."

[IHeartMaine]

I mostly agree with thoughts presented here. One of my biggest peeves in the negativity that permeates this state.......unfortunately, it rubs off on me sometimes. From the Governor on down......you'd think that this place has nothing going for it sometimes. If only the natives that have never left could see the rotten underbelly of this country that is rarely presented or seen in the media. It's ugly, crowded, dirty and cutthroat out there. I wish that some in this state truly appreciated what they have.....but also wish that Maine's politicians would get a clue and start managing this state for the new century rather than the last one.

[TerryDactyls]

We moved to portland last fall from Texas and have found the people very welcoming and friendly. Many have gone out of their way to be helpful towards us.

[LordSquidworth]

Originally Posted by TerryDactyls

We moved to portland last fall from Texas and have found the people very welcoming and friendly. Many have gone out of their way to be helpful towards us.

Portland isn't the Maine they're talking about. Move further north and you'll find out.

[mainegrl2011]

Originally Posted by lordsquidworth

portland isn't the maine they're talking about. Move further north and you'll find out.

lol