What's with this mentality against people who move here? (Portland: weddings, camping)

[mainegrl2011]

Originally Posted by absiesmom

I lived in Maine for 25 years and never once felt assimilated. Coming from Maryland, friendliness was open and genuine, not guarded and reserved. A great line from a Herman Wouk novel reads: "They smiled when they were amused, not to be pleasant." (He was talking about the main character's reaction to the Russian people). I couldn't help but compare this observation with mine of the people around me in Maine. A cold stare was as common as a cold wind.

When it came time to retire, the logical choice was to return to Maryland. Being quite used to living in many areas and states, being an "outsider" has not been a problem. I accept the fact that I am merely a puzzlement, as if there's insecurity in the fact that I might have seen/experienced more than those who haven't and they feel they have nothing in common with me. I happen to be a good listener, so I attentively hear their stories and appreciate their lives whether they accept me or not.

I double checked the definition of assimilate and it would seem that the responsibility to assimilate is on your shoulders as the new person who moved to Maine. Assimilate | Define Assimilate at Dictionary.com

Not that it matters now for you since I guess you went back to Maryland, but it might help someone else. Start by doing a whole lot more listening than talking. You say you are a good listener so that should have been easy for you, but if you never felt assimilated, maybe you tried to hold on to the customs and attitudes of another place. Did you ever talk negatively about Maine in the company of natives? Did you ever mention how much better things were some place else? I seriously doubt that anyone in Maine (natives in particular) care what you experienced/saw elsewhere. If they would have cared, they probably would have asked. I think the fact that you never felt assimilated came from within yourself....just my two cents' worth.

[Submariner]

Originally Posted by mainegrl2011

I double checked the definition of assimilate and it would seem that the responsibility to assimilate is on your shoulders as the new person who moved to Maine. Assimilate | Define Assimilate at Dictionary.com

Not that it matters now for you since I guess you went back to Maryland, but it might help someone else. Start by doing a whole lot more listening than talking. You say you are a good listener so that should have been easy for you, but if you never felt assimilated, maybe you tried to hold on to the customs and attitudes of another place. Did you ever talk negatively about Maine in the company of natives? Did you ever mention how much better things were some place else? I seriously doubt that anyone in Maine (natives in particular) care what you experienced/saw elsewhere. If they would have cared, they probably would have asked. I think the fact that you never felt assimilated came from within yourself....just my two cents' worth.

I agree.

When I landed in Maine. I went to the nearest American Legion post, the VFW post and Masonic Lodge. I started attending their activities. I found my flavor of church, where I started attending services. Over the first few years, some of those associations did not work well for me [a dark room filled with drunk combat-vets self-medicating is not the best environment for me]. But I felt that it was my job to get out and assimilate into the community. After a few years, I have made other better connections.

After a snow storm when I have finished clearing my driveway, I check on some of our neighbors to clear their driveways.

When I see someone starting a garden, I stop and offer them a few yards of horse manure. I freely give shyte to anybody.



Let me tell a story. A year ago, Spring '14 a subsidiary corp of Casella came along, they wanted to build a facility on land behind my land. The easement that provides access into this property goes through the dead-center of our land. The facility they wanted to build is a combined: Municipal Waste sorting facility / Garbage-Incinerator Power Plant / Land-Fill / Inter-Modal transportation hub. The Municipal Waste coming into this facility was going to come from: Quebec, Mass, NH, Vermont, and maybe after Juniper-Ridge land-fill gets full then some Municipal-Waste from Maine. It was estimated that the waste would arrive in 90 to 100 18-wheel trucks 7-days/week, driving through the center of our land; along with construction vehicles and employees [until the E/W corridor and connection to the R/R is completed, then the amount of trucking would shift a bit].

A near-by dance-hall offered to host town meetings for us for free. We began having monthly Town-meeting / potlucks [I provided BBQ pulled-pork to every meeting from my herd of pigs]. From a township of 230 residents we got as many as 250 people to show-up to our town meetings. We had county commissioners attending, state representatives, and council members from the Penobscot Indian Nation. Neighbors testified that they are armed and would die in a hail of bullets fighting Casella, before allowing them to build such a facility here.

I was interviewed by local TV stations a few times, and I was on local news radio a bunch of times. Free-lance journalists stayed here a while and did stories about it.

When the state D.E.P. had a public hearing in Old Town, the Penobscot Nation marched from their reservation to the hearing, with banners and drums. I was at that hearing, when I saw the Penobscot marching help me, I cried. The state even had Old Town PD on hand to keep it 'peaceful'.

Plan to build landfill in Argyle or Greenbush draws fire at Maine DEP public meeting — Penobscot — Bangor Daily News — BDN Maine



We won.



You can talk about how folks 'from away' are not accepted here. You can say how 'flatlanders' are hated. You can tell your friends how you got a cold shoulder. But, I know that if you make the effort to assimilate here, Mainers can be your best friends.

[jeremywolf81]

Originally Posted by TerryDactyls

We moved to portland last fall from Texas and have found the people very welcoming and friendly. Many have gone out of their way to be helpful towards us.

Portland is Maine about as much as (I'm guessing this is a reference you'd get) Austin is representative of Texas. And as someone else said, ask them where they're originally from and I guarantee you'll find out probably more than half are from NY/MA/CT originally.

[lrfox]

I should point out that even though I mention how difficult it was to be an "outsider" in Maine, I appreciate the locals' desire to keep things as they always have been. It's sort of a vicious cycle. Outsiders are initially attracted to Maine because it's so different than where they're from. They move there and find that not everything is perfect, so they work to change certain aspects of their community in Maine to replicate what they liked about where they're originally from. If they're successful then they alter what they (and the lifelong locals) loved about the place to begin with.

It's an interesting paradox. Personally, I didn't enjoy living in Maine. However, I find that most of my issues were my own fault. I didn't do the right amount of research and I was unable to assimilate (frankly, I didn't even want to try). I don't think it was a good fit and I don't think it ever will be. The people who move to Maine (or move back to Maine) and have a good experience are those that truly try to fit in. The effort goes a long way.

[mainegrl2011]

Originally Posted by lrfox

I should point out that even though I mention how difficult it was to be an "outsider" in Maine, I appreciate the locals' desire to keep things as they always have been. It's sort of a vicious cycle. Outsiders are initially attracted to Maine because it's so different than where they're from. They move there and find that not everything is perfect, so they work to change certain aspects of their community in Maine to replicate what they liked about where they're originally from. If they're successful then they alter what they (and the lifelong locals) loved about the place to begin with.

It's an interesting paradox. Personally, I didn't enjoy living in Maine. However, I find that most of my issues were my own fault. I didn't do the right amount of research and I was unable to assimilate (frankly, I didn't even want to try). I don't think it was a good fit and I don't think it ever will be. The people who move to Maine (or move back to Maine) and have a good experience are those that truly try to fit in. The effort goes a long way.

well said!

[Mark S.]

Originally Posted by Submariner

I freely give shyte to anybody.

That needs to be on a T shirt.

[TerryDactyls]

Originally Posted by jeremywolf81

Portland is Maine about as much as (I'm guessing this is a reference you'd get) Austin is representative of Texas. And as someone else said, ask them where they're originally from and I guarantee you'll find out probably more than half are from NY/MA/CT originally.

Actually, most of the people I've met are natives - including one guy whose family goes back to the 1660's.

[znlwovuhrjw]

I guess it's different for everyone on wellness of assimilation, I did a lot of research on VT, NH, and ME before choosing that part of the country. I still read about all three of them everyday, their cultures actually still exist unlike some parts of the US, I will be glad to KEEP it that way. I think as long as you put aside "I came from 'state/country' for a job and nothing more, I want this place to be more like 'state/country', and whining/complaining about the climate unlike 'state/country'." there should never be a problem of feeling out of place. Most of these claims of being an outsider come from a half-assed attempt at trying to LEARN another way of life.

[massnative71]

Originally Posted by kingdomkz

I guess it's different for everyone on wellness of assimilation, I did a lot of research on VT, NH, and ME before choosing that part of the country. I still read about all three of them everyday, their cultures actually still exist unlike some parts of the US, I will be glad to KEEP it that way. I think as long as you put aside "I came from 'state/country' for a job and nothing more, I want this place to be more like 'state/country', and whining/complaining about the climate unlike 'state/country'." there should never be a problem of feeling out of place. Most of these claims of being an outsider come from a half-assed attempt at trying to LEARN another way of life.

After visiting Maine for most of my life and never made to feel unwelcome, I had wondered whether that might change when actually moving here to "stay". To this day, I have yet to meet anyone resentful of the fact that I have now made this great state my home (and I am NOWHERE near Portland). Now of course that's to my face, people could be slamming me behind my back after all. I also of course don't advertise being a Ma$$hole, which could be a big part of it as well. I can't wait to rip those tags off my truck!

[Northern Maine Land Man]

Maine needs people. We know that. We welcome people who are not too disruptive.