What's with this mentality against people who move here? (Portland: living, club)

[znlwovuhrjw]

Quality over quantity, always.

[fvansan]

I lived in Portland for 25 years and I was always considered an outsider or "from away". My daughter was born in Portland and had a very different experience. Yo will never be accepted in Maine if you are"from away". A very suspicious mentality those Mainers are.

[JGMotorsport64]

It's funny this is mentioned, I was in Portland/Bangor on business for 2 weeks last year, I travel a good bit but man did I feel unwelcome. The second I would go to a bar and have to show my ID I would instantly be treated differently.

[Radio Flyer]

I grew up here, moved away and then came back. I get the attitude sometimes and I just roll my eyes (well, to myself).

These types give all Mainers a bad name. It's not an attractive look.

[^Eagle^]

It's been over a year now and I still feel the sam e way, although it's become more normal. Even within this very thread many of the comments talk about "outsiders". What baffles me is that I think Maine has got to be the only place that would consider someone who was born here and lived here for 30 years to be an outsider, but that's what I am to most people including those who know me best.

I think assimilation is part of the issue as well. I just have no desire to fully adopt many of the mentalities or outlooks that are common of the area, they really only make sense to the people who have only lived here all of their lives. I think that's a big part of it is that many of the things necessary to assimilate are not at all desirable to anyone who's even remotely well traveled. I mostly find my common ground with people here based on past memories, my love for nature, and an interest in doing the right thing. There are people that come here from out of state, cause issues and have bad intentions. Elsewhere that is just " stuff that goes on". Here it is proof that anyone who has been away is not to be trusted. It's just Maine and it won't change.

I am getting ready to head south, how far south Im not sure, but at least closer to Boston. I haven't adjusted very well, the majority of the issue is just the lack of options. Unless your settled down and raising a family with a long time job, your options are pretty limited. i have enjoyed the nature and low stress levels, but people up here tend to be way more stressful to deal with than down south.

[Submariner]

Originally Posted by ^Eagle^

It's been over a year now and I still feel the sam e way, although it's become more normal. Even within this very thread many of the comments talk about "outsiders". What baffles me is that I think Maine has got to be the only place that would consider someone who was born here and lived here for 30 years to be an outsider, but that's what I am to most people including those who know me best.

I think assimilation is part of the issue as well. I just have no desire to fully adopt many of the mentalities or outlooks that are common of the area, they really only make sense to the people who have only lived here all of their lives. I think that's a big part of it is that many of the things necessary to assimilate are not at all desirable to anyone who's even remotely well traveled. I mostly find my common ground with people here based on past memories, my love for nature, and an interest in doing the right thing. There are people that come here from out of state, cause issues and have bad intentions. Elsewhere that is just " stuff that goes on". Here it is proof that anyone who has been away is not to be trusted. It's just Maine and it won't change.

I am getting ready to head south, how far south Im not sure, but at least closer to Boston. I haven't adjusted very well, the majority of the issue is just the lack of options. Unless your settled down and raising a family with a long time job, your options are pretty limited. i have enjoyed the nature and low stress levels, but people up here tend to be way more stressful to deal with than down south.

You can never return home.

You can stay in your hometown until your 18, or until your 50, it makes no difference. Once you leave it, and go live somewhere else, you grow. You experience different cultures. You change. The changed you can return to the place you once called home. But it will never be the same. You can never fit in like you had before.

You can never return home.

[^Eagle^]

Yes, I now fully understand why people say this. A part of me just wants to go back down South. Another part of me feels like if I can get closer to Boston where there's more going on and more people like me, that I can find a happy medium. Close to family but happy and with my own separate life. Then again family has all moved on with their lives, so why confine myself to one region? The older I get the more I realize there's no simple answers to anything.

[thunderkat59]

The same as in Vermont. You are always reminded you are a flatlander and the reason why Vermont got electricity and running water. In other words, you -personally- wrecked it for "them". It's a New England thing. In one way its good in that that is why they have not suffered homogenization as much as lower states, but in other ways, its very tiresome to always have that cloud over you in a small town.

[IlonaG]

Well this thread sure put a damper on my hopes of relocating to Maine

[OpinionExperience]

I lived in Maine for 14 years moving from New Jersey. I didn't take NJ with me on the move I was leaving it behind. My family has been in NJ for generations and I will not deny my heritage, but all the bad in NJ doesn't define everyone in the state. When people were rude to me in Maine I let it roll off to earn my citizenship. It paid off to a degree, I made friends of lifetime Mainers all over the state. Invited to Weddings, Funerals, Parties camping, hunting, travel, I earned it. Yet some locals have it out for you regardless and knife you in the back the more you reach out to earn their trust. Why? In Jersey you keep your guard up always, in Maine "the way life should be" you let it down, thinking you are in a better place. I am not alone given this thread.

Maine is a great place, read my posts and I repeat it regularly but some posters here have it in for you regardless. I am still in touch with a great group of people in Maine and am always welcomed back. I still have land there and plan on hanging on to it because Maine isn't all bad, I know what to expect and avoid now.

I hope this is helpful to all the forum readers trying to make a life changing decision for what ever they are seeking.