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yes i can forgive anything as long as the one asking for forgiveness is truly repentant of their sins. that might entail going through counseling, jail time, civil punishment, etc. remember that part of the lords prayer is "forgive us our trespasses as we forgive those who trespass against us". understand that NO ONE is perfect, and that we ALL sin against others, and we ALL at some point need forgiveness.
There is a push to normalize pedophilia going on. The old it's not their fault type of nonsense and BS about how we have to have tolerance and on and on. I dread to see where this country ends up in 25 years if these folks get their way.
Actually, it IS a good idea to let these people be able to voice their attractions BEFORE they act on them, so they can get the help they need. Right now, if somebody were to go to therapy and say "I'm attracted to little boys, I've never done anything,but I'm afraid I might"...a whole world of LE is gonna be on their doorstep...for what? a thought crime?
We don't want them to keep that to themselves...but if they're afraid of being thrown in jail and all the repercussions, they will
Pedophilia is a sexual orientation just like homosexuality and heterosexuality and is fixed for life. The person is sexually attracted to children and will be that way for life. I think it's a sick aberration with no redeeming qualities and no, I will never accept it as part of the normal spectrum of human sexuality.
As a former nurse in a nursing home I occasionally saw it still present in a few of the residents there, even though they were no longer capable of acting on it other than trying to pull one of the high school girls into bed with them at times or run a hand up her leg.
There are a few things going on. No one but a psychopath thinks sex with children who don't think they're consenting is OK. A small group of pedophiles think that sometimes a child can consent to sexual activity and think it should be legal. That argument has been made for decades, and the rest of us are less and less tolerant of it. There is no movement gaining ground to allow sex with children -- it is *losing* ground.
What has been gathering momentum lately is the idea that there are lots of men who are attracted to children but who have never abused a child and never will. There are others who are perhaps near the edge of doing so, and access to mental health services is vital to help them -- but if they fear they will be reported and "outed" for their thoughts, they won't seek help. Being able to come out to close family without being disowned could also help keep a pedophile from acting out. The movement is towards accepting the people who have the feelings as men with a difficult burden to bear. It is not leading towards allowing sex with children -- far from it.
I myself am one of those Virtuous Pedophiles (virped.org). We think adult-child sex is wrong and always will be.
If somebody who had molested a child a couple of times (let's say the details are unimportant but it did not involve lasting physical injuries), after doing his time (and surviving in jail), sincerely repented and swore that he would never do it again, do you think you could personally ever forgive him? And do you think he deserves forgiveness? Assuming you could believe he would never do it. I guess they're slighted related questions.
While I'm as shocked by child abuse as anybody, the way in which they are beyond forgiveness and are hated, more than mass murderers or serial killers, is slightly disturbing. Actually what I'm more concerned about is the witch-hunt/hysterical attitude. Many people guilty of lesser crimes (i.e. consensual sex with say a 14 year old minor, or even something as minor as accidentally exposing yourself to children without intent) are often given the same tag. I don't have children so I can't say what I'd do if it happened to one of my own children, but I'd like to think if they have truly turned away there's a place for forgiveness for everybody.
I understand there are countless people who've been abused or have a love one who has been, and I think it's totally understandable to never be able to forgive. I'm not saying you're a lesser person. Nor, I think, should those who do forgive be made to feel guilty or that they condone or tolerate pedophilia.
I guess what it comes down to is: should they be shot/locked away forever, even if it was just one time, or should they be 'rehabilitated?' I mean like a murderer or rapist you never REALLY know, which is the disturbing part, but then again there are pedophiles lurking around who haven't committed an offence yet. I guess even if it's a 'sexual orientation' it's not one that society can tolerate, so maybe they could be given a chemical that removes their desire or castrated?
As others note, pedophilia is not a crime because many pedophiles never act on their attractions. Child sexual abuse is, and it is often perpetrated by men who are not pedophiles (they're more attracted to adults, but the kid was available). Child sexual abuse also varies enormously, from the very rare and horrific rape/murders to much milder non-contact offenses such as exhibitionism.
People differ a great deal in their willingness to forgive in general, regardless of pedophilia. Could you forgive someone who killed your brother in a drunken fight? A drunk driver who kills a pedestrian? Could you forgive someone who held you up at gunpoint? How about someone who steals cars and has gone to jail twice and steals another one?
To me the interesting question is where you rank various kinds of child sexual abuse among those other crimes. Would you forgive someone who holds you up at gunpoint when you're walking with your child but not someone who exposes himself to your child when she is alone?
A separate question from forgiveness is when you keep people imprisoned and when you let them go free. There are questions of fact about how likely people are to re-offend. Pedophiles have lower re-offense rates than most other criminals, though that doesn't settle the issue. There is a knee-jerk reaction to lock away anyone who commits a crime, because we want to keep the world safe. But the world will always have danger in it, and rather than locking up half the population, we give most criminals a second chance.
I would like to see a world where child sex abusers are forgiven (or not) using the same criteria we use to evaluate other crimes. How much harm did it do? What's the chance the criminal will re-offend? Did they mean to hurt someone (pedophiles rarely do)? Was it premeditated? Instead of thinking of pedophiles as monsters, think of them as men who are sexually attracted to children. When some of them abuse children, think of it as human sexuality gone badly awry as it does in regard to adults, with harassment, rape, voyeurism, etc. Forgive or not, as you see fit, but keep your judgment in line with other crimes that do similar harm.
I am a pedophile who has never abused kids and never will. I reject adult-child sexual activity categorically, and think it is always a crime that needs to be punished -- in line with how we punish similar crimes.
Ethan (co-founder of Virtuous Pedophiles, virped.org).
We don't know what causes pedophilia nor do we know what to do to fix it. ..
That first part isn't completely true. We at least partially know what causes a lot of pedophilia. Most people who are pedophiles were molested as children themselves. Childhood sexual abuse literally alters your brain. But you are correct, I don't think they really know how to fix it.
I was responding to the post where the 4000 person study was linked and it disappeared (sp). Am I going crazy ? Was it deleted ? I did read the study and only 8 % of molesters were homosexual, the rest were married, etc, etc. This is what I have read and heard is standard %'s. Now I don't know how to get back to the study........Apparantly, boys and severity have the longest lasting and the most devastating effects. What a tragedy.
The point of why I posted one of the largest studies on child molestors in the US was to show that only about 7% of the molestors were true 'fixated' pedophiles who were only attracted to children. The vast majority of child molestors had adult sexual attractions and used the children opportunistically.
68% of child molestors molested children in their own family. These were self-admitted child molestors. They were fathers, step-fathers, uncles, grandfathers, older brothers etc. Only 10% molested children who were strangers to them. It's an uncomfortable statistic for many people.
How much more complicated is it to 'forgive' someone who sexually abuses children in their own family? Someone the child trusts? Is it any wonder so many cases go unreported?
You can forgive just about anyone...even a pedophile...but you should never trust them..They are predisposed to this type of behavior ....they are what they are....most importantly of course is the protection of children...you can have all the sympathy you want for a sick pedophile...BUT- a child can be tainted and severely harmed...No one has the right to rob a child of their future- sure- forgive- but never forget and never stop being vigilant...
There is a push to normalize pedophilia going on. The old it's not their fault type of nonsense and BS about how we have to have tolerance and on and on. I dread to see where this country ends up in 25 years if these folks get their way.
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