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I think it is great when the grandparents look after our kids sometimes so that my wife and I can go to the movies or a concert and dinner or even to fly interstae. For this they never ask for money and we have never paid although we usually offer we don't expect them to accept.
I think a key difference between our situation and the example from the OP is that the OP has her mom doing it regularly and so I think that in that case that paying is a good thing. You understand the value of the service and the grandma knows that you value what she is doing.
I have something that really bugs me about my Mom and I’m wondering if I’m being selfish, etc for feeling this way.
My Mom watches my daughter while I go to work. I pay her for doing this; it’s not a large amount of money, I save probably 50% off of daycare rates. BUT, I’m PISSED that I have to pay her! She’s my *Mom*, it’s her grandchild. My mother has not worked outside of the home in over 18 years (my stepfather supports the household). Sometimes, money gets tight for her, so I know she could use the money, but other times, it’s mainly throw-away money to her…..and my household could use it! I just don’t understand why she’d charge me for babysitting….Am I naïve to believe she should do this for free? Not to mention that at home with her are my 18 y/o sister, her boyfriend and my 22 y/o brother. They all have my daughter throughout the day, so this isn’t an instance of my mother doing “all the work” all day.
And another thing…..when I (or my older sister who has kids…and also paid Mom before her kids were school-aged), my Mom wants to be paid! She says it jokingly, but she does! I usually don’t pay her for this….I mean, I understand that babysitting is a job, but when did watching one’s grandchild become so mercenary?
My 22 y/o brother had a girl LIVING in my Mom’s house for about a year (she just moved out and that’s only because her and my brother broke up!), my Mom griped about not getting rent, but she NEVER demanded it from her. And this was a 22 y/o woman with a $20/hour full-time job.
I know my reasons are probably baseless. But a part of me finds it REALLY offensive that I have to pay my Mom to watch her grandchild.
Are you SERIOUS?
What your mom does and who she lets live in her household in her business.
Of course you have to pay your mom to babysit. She is doing a job and should get paid for it.
If your not supporting your moms household and paying her bills which I doubt you are. Then you have no biz what goes on in her house. If she chose not to have your brother and his ex pay rent, thats her biz not yours.
Your upset because you have to pay your mom when she is doing you a favor...GROW UP your an adult so act like one.
Why dont you put your kids in daycare so you can stop whining..
Your a selfish daughter and you should be ashamed of yourself.
You need to worry about your own life instead of worrying about the everyone else in your moms house.
Pay your mom what you would be pay the daycare because I bet she watches your kids and loves them more than the daycare would.
Are you SERIOUS?
What your mom does and who she lets live in her household in her business.
Of course you have to pay your mom to babysit. She is doing a job and should get paid for it.
If your not supporting your moms household and paying her bills which I doubt you are. Then you have no biz what goes on in her house. If she chose not to have your brother and his ex pay rent, thats her biz not yours.
Your upset because you have to pay your mom when she is doing you a favor...GROW UP your an adult so act like one.
Why dont you put your kids in daycare so you can stop whining..
Your a selfish daughter and you should be ashamed of yourself.
You need to worry about your own life instead of worrying about the everyone else in your moms house.
Pay your mom what you would be pay the daycare because I bet she watches your kids and loves them more than the daycare would.
I totally agree. Entitlement mentalities are so childish. It always amazes me when people are 'adult' enough to have kids, but not adult enough to accept responsibility for the ramifications of their actions, and seek to dump them off onto others. And if you expect others to shoulder your responsibilities without compensating for it, that's exactly what you're doing -- dumping off responsibility.
What I was trying to say in my last post (deleted) was--and I'm rephrasing to ask with the utmost sincerity, not sarcasm or mean-spiritedness so as to help you look at it differently since you seem to be seeking--why do you say you'd be ok to pay the full rate if your mom refused to watch her but you're not ok with paying half of what a daycare of strangers would charge as it is? I'm not understanding this part.
Btw, I watch my brother's 3 kids for half of what a daycare charges. It's a lot of work.
I guess my problem is that it's my family. I can't wrap my mind around the idea of paying family as if they're some sort of stranger. I'd expect to pay a daycare because they have no emotional ties. My sister has 3 kids. If I didn't work and she asked me to babysit,I'd either do it because I wanted to or I wouldn't. I wouldn't expect (or accept) payment. We're family; families help one another out if we're able/willing.
My Mom hasn't worked in over 18 years.....and even if she weren't watching my daughter she'd be doing the same thing she's doing now...at home, watching TV or yapping on the phone with her friends. PLUS, half the day my sister/brother have my daughter (who, BTW, is 18 months), so it's not like my Mom is at home alone with her. I KNOW I should be grateful (and I am!), BUT part of me still can't wrap my mind around paying her to watch her grandchild! I couldn't imagine doing that...either I'm gonna watch the child or I'm not.....why should money play a factor? It's not like she quit her job or could be working instead...she'd be doing the same thing she's doing now!
If your mom only does those things and is lazy like you say, you need to find other day care arrangements. It's terrible that your child only watches television all day instead of learning and playing.
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I couldn't imagine doing that...either I'm gonna watch the child or I'm not.....why should money play a factor? It's not like she quit her job or could be working instead...she'd be doing the same thing she's doing now!