Spoiled as a child/teen question (toy, activities, playing, son)

[Whyte Byrd]

Originally Posted by Marlow

My parents bought me a car when I was 17 and paid for the insurance, but I started working at 16 and never stopped. Prior to that I either rode my bike to work or drove if there was a family car available. I was saving for a car, but my mother took the money and used it for a down payment on a better car than I would have been able to afford. I drove it for 11 years. I bought gas and spent my own money on going out with friends.

They paid for college although I worked and paid for whatever I could. I paid for my advanced degree by working and taking out loans.

My parents came from very humble backgrounds and were proud to help me when they could. I was and still am very grateful and don't think I'm spoiled at all. I certainly didn't get everything I wanted because they couldn't afford it and I wouldn't have dreamed for asking for anything extravagant.

No, it doesn't sound like it to me.

[Whyte Byrd]

Originally Posted by Mar0

When I was that age, my parents paid my car insurance, maybe 50% of my gas and other expenses and my cell phone bill. I worked and like I said, about 50% of my expenses were paid by me. I knew that if there was anything I needed, my parents would pay for it. My parents also paid for my college tuition.

I don't think that I am really spoiled at all. I am a very hard worker and have saved up quite a bit of money as my parents have taught me the value of money. My parents still pay for some things for me but I don't expect it. I feel fortunate that my parents were so supportive of me!

I think if you've learned from or in spite of it you're not spoiled.

[Whyte Byrd]

Originally Posted by NoExcuses

I grew up with a lot of responsibility and babysat for families all through high school. I bought most of my own clothes and used my own money for spending, although I didn't spend much. Boys paid for dates back then.

I didn't have a car so that wasn't an issue.

I grew up responsible for myself.

My daughter (younger) had a job and has money in the bank. I buy her clothes, but when she wants something she uses her own money. When it's something big, we split the cost 50/50 (like the violin she wants). If she gets a car before she is 18, she will go on family insurance and pay her share. She will pay for gas but knows that if she is in a pinch and she needs a few dollars for something I deem worthy, she can come to me.

This, I agree with, better than doing everything for them. It's more like the teach a man to fish thing but closer to home.

[SKP440]

I worked ever since I was 14. When I started to work I always gave my parents something, and I usually bought my own back to school clothes. I got my first car at 18 by default, and I payed to keep it on the road.

[NoExcuses]

Originally Posted by Whyte Byrd

This, I agree with, better than doing everything for them. It's more like the teach a man to fish thing but closer to home.

Exactly. She doesn't like parting with her money so weighs her decisions very carefully. She doesn't have a lot of extra stuff but appreciates what she has.

Right now she's 16. This summer she will learn about bills. She will receive a checkbook (not a real account) and I will make up utility bills for her with a set amount for rent. She will be responsible for making out checks for each 'bill' and getting them ready for mailing. She will have a set amount of 'money' in her account and budget it for what needs to be paid each month plus food so she can understand that disposable income does not equal a paycheck. We'll do this for a number of months, probably starting with seeing what she can do with minimum wage then working up so she can figure out about how much she will eventually need to earn to live at the standard at which she wishes.

By the time she's 18, she will be capable of taking care of her own business and living expenses for an apartment. She'll get a job or two and learn to fly on her own. A couple or few years later she will go to college when she knows for sure what she wants to study. She has a pretty good idea now, but is considering alternatives. She wants to travel before attending more school.

[aidxen]

Spoilt or supported. Depends on your perspective, On the kids attitude, their gratitude. What else they are doing.

During high school and university I never had to get a job. My parents paid for everything. They bought me a car and paid me an allowance that was used to pay for fuel and rego and maintenance (Although I had to do most of that myself as you do when you are short of cash) I did not have to pay rent.

BUT I had to do chores at home. I had to be subject to their rules (& discipline) at home. I was polite and thankful to them. I was encouraged to get a job and keep the money. It was part time and was supposed to teach me about people and the value of work and money. It gave me money to pay for luxuries and holidays. Part way through my studies, I moved into a share house and my parents still help pay the rent.

After I graduated I moved back home and I got a job then I paid "rent" at home. Then I moved out and was totally self sufficient.

Was I spoiled? Maybe. Supported certainly.
I certainly was thankful.

[neuro]

the problem is that most of us do not think we have grown up to become spoiled petty adults. Especially those of us who are.

[txtqueen]

Well it's kinda complicated with me.

When I was younger we didn't really have all that money until I hit about middle school and we still don't have a tremendous amount of money but typically I still get everything I ask for.

I got the Alias 2 on my birthday last year and then got a motorola droid for christmas and then switched phones with my friend for his blackberry.
I recently got a brand new iPod touch for my birthday this year.
I don't pay any bills.
My car insurance is paid for, I pay for gas when I can, my mom pays for my cell phone with unlimited texting and internet.

Most stuff that I ask for I get.
There are times I don't get things that I want and there are other times that I have to wait a bit.

I certainly don't expect it because I know the financial situation we can be in at times.
I have chores, they don't always get done when my mom would like them to be but for the most part the house is clean.

I however did just completely deep clean my room and it looks amazing and next is my bathroom.

I don't know how I am going to do out on my own.
All I know is I am glad I have these things, knowing that if I don't get an education and a good paying job and make something out of myself I won't continue being able to have them so it makes me strive to do better and keep my life on track to a stable career.

However, if I had been raised with less, how would I have ever known that I would like this stuff so much and I may not have wanted to strive so much for something better.

I don't expect this to be handed to me, I know when I DO get out on my own I WILL have to work to maintain it and knowing that I am going to make sure I get the education and the job to make that possible and I will do anything to make it happen.

Will I spoil my kids when I have them? Will they have whatever they want and the latest technology and lasted everything?

Yes, they will because I want them to live "the life" and have things they want but they will know that they have to do things to deserve it and that it won't just be handed to them as adults and they'll have to work to maintain it.

I have a lot and I like it and I want to make sure I can maintain having it all and more.
If I was raised with less, I may have only strived to maintain that and not wanted to get more...

[Hopes]

Txtqueen, you probably would be more likely to move out on your own if you didn't have such an attachment to having the finer things in life.

If you had been raised with less, it would be easier for you to imagin moving out on your own.

You didn't need to be given these things to appreciate them. If you went without, you would have strived to have them. It's your personality to want better for yourself.

You're not a kid anymore. You're an adult, a 21 year old adult whose mother still gives you everything, and you won't move out because you want to have things.

[beachmel]

Many kids today do not have any comprehension of how much it costs to make it in this world. They get so used to having their "luxury" items paid for that they truly are clueless to what they cost. If they work a part-time job, they are allowed to spend it on what they "want". These poor kids get out into the world and discover that their paychecks are barely covering their needs. Unfortunately, they're so used to spending their money on their wants that they do that first, then end up having to borrow money from mom and dad for their "needs".

I'm grateful for the way I was raised. I wasn't when I was a kid, but once I left home, I realized the huge favor my parents were doing me. I had jobs that were exclusively mine! It was MY responsibility to take care of the animals on the farm, keep their pens cleaned, keep them fed, notify my parents when we needed feed or a truckload of bedding. It was MY job to start dinner at a certain hour, to do laundry if it needed to be done and to keep the house clean. If it was canning season, it was my job to help...you didn't get asked....you simply did it because it needed to be done. It was MY job to help weed the gardens. If the wood rack needed filling, it was my job. You didn't wait to be asked. My parents both worked full-time jobs. I did not get an allowance. If I wanted something extra and wanted some money, they would find something that WASN'T one of my regular jobs, but that needed to be done and would pay me accordingly. Once I got into high school, I was allowed to get a weekend job, but had to find my own transportation. Mind you, all of my "at home" jobs were still mine. If I couldn't handle my chores AND my outside job, the outside job would have had to go! Being raised in that fasion taught me to have great work ethics and to appreciate the work involved in the running of a home. The transition to an independent adult life was a breeze!!