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I haven't seen this idea mentioned yet, so I'm going to toss it out there as it's something my parents used on me. (Doubt if it's the whole reason I don't smoke but it played a part I think.)
The idea is to make your kid realize how much smoking is, or would be, actually costing him in dollars and cents. It's one thing to think that it's only a few dollars a week spent on cigarettes, but if you sit down and show your teen how much those cigarettes are costing in a years time it makes a bigger impact. Ask your child if they had that $$$ amount in their pockets right now would they spend that money on cigarettes, or spend it on something else?
Probably won't work with a lot of kids bit it was a pretty effective argument on me when I was that age.
This is an excellent way to look at things.
It also is reasonable to take a look at the difference in Insurance rates for smokers v. non-smokers (Life, Health, etc.)
I definately wouldn't be supplying money or a car if he decides not to quit...not sure if it's true everywhere, but here it's illegal to have cigarettes under 18 years of age....if that's true where you live, then someone is buying them for him.
I'm so glad I never had to deal with this issue...I am hugely anti-smoking.
I've posted on here before about my 15, almost 16yo.
Yesterday I found some cigarettes in his room. (Yes I snoop around his room. The way I look at it is that while he is a minor and living in my house, then I am responsible for what he is doing.)
Anyway, I haven't said anything to him about it yet, I just threw them away. Later yesterday afternoon he went out for a walk. When he came back he went right into the shower which is unusual for him. This morning when I went into his room it smelled like cigarettes. So I'm guessing he is smoking.
What I want to know is: how should I handle this? My biggest problem with him is that he is VERY defiant. We've talked about the dangers of smoking and he knows how I feel about it. Just the fact that I don't want him to smoke will be incentive enough for him to do it. I think he just thinks it is "cool". I could very well tell him that I won't allow it, but, that is not very realistic. He could obviously do it at a friends house or somewhere else. Also, theoretically, he will have his license by the end of the year so he could just do it anywhere.
I am fairly certain he is getting the cigarettes from his friends. No one in our immediate or extended family smoke.
I know there is worse things he could be doing, but I find smoking beyond disgusting.
Tell ya what to do. Sit him down and find out where he get the cigarettes since it's illegal to sell cigarettes to minor his age. Then visit the source to let them know that you will take legal action if your son show up with anymore cigarettes.
Then sit him down outside and tell he can smoke as long as he smokes a whole pack of 20 cigarettes one after the other till they are gone while you watch him. Don't let him get up, walk away or move from that spot until he puffs all the cigarettes 'till they are gone.
If that don't make him so sick that he'll never want to look at another cigarette. That should clear up his youthful desire to smoke.
I haven't seen this idea mentioned yet, so I'm going to toss it out there as it's something my parents used on me. (Doubt if it's the whole reason I don't smoke but it played a part I think.)
The idea is to make your kid realize how much smoking is, or would be, actually costing him in dollars and cents. It's one thing to think that it's only a few dollars a week spent on cigarettes, but if you sit down and show your teen how much those cigarettes are costing in a years time it makes a bigger impact. Ask your child if they had that $$$ amount in their pockets right now would they spend that money on cigarettes, or spend it on something else?
Probably won't work with a lot of kids bit it was a pretty effective argument on me when I was that age.
He had a doctor's appointment the other day and the doctor tried that one on him. He told him that if he put the amount of money he would spend on cigs into a roth IRA then by the time he would retire, he would have $2million(according to the dr.) DS didn't seem that impressed. For him that is too long term, he is kind of in the immediate satisfaction stage.
We did speak to him last week about this and told him he is not allowed to do this in/around the house/property,etc. Unfortunately we decided to bring this topic up while we were punishing him for sending a girl a nude picture of himself (the girl had also send him a nude picture) via email. This wasn't the smartest way to approach the subject but I was already mad at him and kind of figured I'd get all the "punishing" out of the way at once.
Well, we'd been out of his room no longer then 5 minutes when we start to smell somthing burning!!! I couldn't believe the nerve
Needless to say, he is now grounded, has no ipod, phone or internet priveledges(sp?)
My husband will be doing a good sweep of his room this week now that he will be back to school.
He had a doctor's appointment the other day and the doctor tried that one on him. He told him that if he put the amount of money he would spend on cigs into a roth IRA then by the time he would retire, he would have $2million(according to the dr.) DS didn't seem that impressed. For him that is too long term, he is kind of in the immediate satisfaction stage.
We did speak to him last week about this and told him he is not allowed to do this in/around the house/property,etc. Unfortunately we decided to bring this topic up while we were punishing him for sending a girl a nude picture of himself (the girl had also send him a nude picture) via email. This wasn't the smartest way to approach the subject but I was already mad at him and kind of figured I'd get all the "punishing" out of the way at once.
Well, we'd been out of his room no longer then 5 minutes when we start to smell somthing burning!!! I couldn't believe the nerve
Needless to say, he is now grounded, has no ipod, phone or internet priveledges(sp?)
My husband will be doing a good sweep of his room this week now that he will be back to school.
Wow..you have way more problems than just the smoking.
Horrible warnings about the dangers of smoking aren't going to do any good. Smokers have one thing in common--they are risk-takers in personality by nature. This aspect of smoking, as well as teenage smoking specifically, is covered extensively in the book, The Tipping Point.
So, perhaps the answer is to acknowledge this and see if you can channel his energies into less lethal forms of risk-taking. Socially-acceptable forms of gambling, such as the stock market, for instance.
It is a good idea as some have pointed out to set the boundaries around which you will not permit his smoking to encroach upon your life, such as money and not allowing smoking in your house or your presence.
Wow. This is a very interesting post. I may have to check that book out.
Well, I would be worrying more about smoking in the bedroom than anything else. Teens that age are not the most responsible, and what happens if you come home suddenly and he thinks he has put the cig out, walks out of the bedroom, and it isn't, and then you have a fire. That would make me scared, plus knowing how I feel about a fire in the house.
I think I would really have to tell him that if you smoke in my house I will beat you until there isn't any more beat to beat..........
A FIRE IS NOT A JOKE .......not kidding here.......!!!!!!!
we just had a fire in our neighborhood, 5 people died, a woman had to throw here baby out the window, and died herself. you can read all about it in Bensonhurst fire.......it isnt a joke.
the 3ds...i like your post very much..we are on the same page...in addition i would not sign for him to get his driving license..he does not deserve it!!in addition i would put some hiddden cameras in my house...just to make sure my rules are respected when i am not presente...smoke,fire can cause a lot of damage..and no penny from me any more...big 0000
I smoked at age 15 and as at 31 I am a nonsmoker. Kids try stuff it might be a phase. at any rate I would still give him some info and make him look at pics of smokers lungs and teeth online and tat should solve the problem. Worked for me!
I'm sorry you're going through this. I became addicted in my pre-teens, never tried to quit until my 20's. I assumed I would be strong enough to quit if I wanted to quit. I was seriously incorrect. I couldn't quit for the life of me. Over the years, I tried every way available to me, but all were epic fails. Sometimes I craved a smoke while I was smoking one, that's how strong my cravings were.
A few years ago I discovered the ecig, and quit smoking almost immediately. It took a few weeks to completely stop. The best thing about them, is they make real cigarettes taste terrible in comparison. Whenever I do give in to a craving, a few puffs is all I can handle. They burn my eyes, stink like hades, and taste worse than hot road tar smells. (I heard that description the other day and am stealing it, because it's so true).
In my quest to learn more about them, I have stumbled across minors using them to quit smoking. Your son is not alone in his battle to quit smoking! These minors are even standing up their peers who enjoy laughing at the fake cigarettes. They use them to quit smoking, and they tape their experience so that others can see a way out of the tar and toxin addiction too.
Unfortunately they might not be available to anybody online in the future, if the Anti-stopSmoking organizations get their way. They are spending our tax dollars to try to demonize and ban them. Some states are trying to tax them higher than tobacco cigarettes. That is why they claim that the "Flavors attract children", is to sin tax, ban, rule up the parents, and so on. The kids are not attracted to the Flavors. The Flavors are not strong, are not precise, are not anything like a real peach. I am an adult, I like Flavors. I assume most adults like Flavors. When I was a child, I thought candy cigarettes were dumb, and too kiddie. I wanted to look and feel grown up. I hated the taste at first, but I kept with it until I liked it. I also became addicted. I would give anything to go back 30 years in time and discover an ecig. I would be totally free from all of it right now.
CASAA.org is a good place to get involved or to research more. They are consumer advocates, not political advocates.
Best of luck to you both, especially to your son.
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