Spoonfeeding 5 year olds... (deviant, pills, toddler, wife)
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I don't like this idea --- very disruptive to the class if you have parents "dropping in" whenever they feel like it. Even the lunch thing is weird..... are these same parents going to "drop in" at this child's job when they get older and sit in the company cafeteria to eat lunch with them??
Very "helicopter" if you ask me.
I agree. I think parents should be able to drop in w/o being turned away, but I think to encourage it would be disruptive to the class and not good for the kids either.
The reverse of your thoughts, I find it very strange that there are schools that do not allow parents in the school and would have to wonder what they are hiding from the parents. It would make me question their philosophy and how they run the school. I doubt I'd feel comfortable putting my child in a school that excluded parents.
I'd agree the parent spoon feeding their child is helicoptering, but I strongly disagree that a parent volunteering in their child's school is the same.
My DDs schools do allow parents to volunteer, go on class trips, be class parents, help with parties, attend special events. They do not allow parents to come to the cafeteria to eat lunch with the kids or hang out in the classroom. None of my DDs schools ever "excluded" the parents.
My comments were in response to the previous poster's statement that her school allows parents to visit classrooms during the day and come eat lunch with the kids.
I think a parent who would come to school on a regular basis to "visit" the class or to "eat lunch" with the kids is very helicopter. It's much different than "being involved" ---- it's instrusive to the teacher, the students, and potentially embarassing to the child whose parent is constantly around.
We had a dad like that in my DDs class --- this guy would walk the halls of the school like he owned the place, he would sit in the class, etc all in the name of being a "class parent". He was actually there as a "bodyguard" for his daughter (who was the rudest, nastiest thing going). After many, many complaints by other parents, he was told they were giving other parents opportunities to be "class parent" and that class parents were only permitted during certain times of the day.
BTW-to the person who commented on peeling an orange for an adult son. My kids LOVE when I peel them an orange. They are quite capable of peeling them on their own but they really like when I do. As a mom I do little things that make them happy. It isn't that they CAN'T or WON'T do it on their own, it's just one of those little things that mothers sometimes do for their sons. So cut her some slack...
Is it only for sons? Would you do it for daughters too?
I had never seen it before that is why it shock me.
Hmmm. I think spoon-feeding is over-the-top at this age; however, I am one of those parents who joins her children (my husband does, too, when available) during lunch occasionally. Our elementary school does encourage parents to drop in for lunch. At this point, the fifth-grader still thinks it's nice. As soon as she starts to balk, I'll stop. And, once she's a middle-schooler, I'll stay far, far away. I know that drill!
As for the second-grader, I do make it a point to sit with him at lunch on the days I volunteer. He recently began taking a medication that decreases his appetite (we have to keep a very close eye on his weight), and it gives me the opportunity to gently encourage him to eat. I stop far short of spoon-feeding, though, and I don't bring special food from home. As soon as lunch is over, I head for my volunteer job at school.
I like being a part of my children's school day; however, I work very hard not to be a distraction, and I stay off the playground and out of the classroom. That's their space. I also keep my hands away from their homework, unless they specifically ask for help.
My DDs schools do allow parents to volunteer, go on class trips, be class parents, help with parties, attend special events. They do not allow parents to come to the cafeteria to eat lunch with the kids or hang out in the classroom. None of my DDs schools ever "excluded" the parents.
My comments were in response to the previous poster's statement that her school allows parents to visit classrooms during the day and come eat lunch with the kids.
I think a parent who would come to school on a regular basis to "visit" the class or to "eat lunch" with the kids is very helicopter. It's much different than "being involved" ---- it's instrusive to the teacher, the students, and potentially embarassing to the child whose parent is constantly around.
We had a dad like that in my DDs class --- this guy would walk the halls of the school like he owned the place, he would sit in the class, etc all in the name of being a "class parent". He was actually there as a "bodyguard" for his daughter (who was the rudest, nastiest thing going). After many, many complaints by other parents, he was told they were giving other parents opportunities to be "class parent" and that class parents were only permitted during certain times of the day.
Unless the parent comes in loud and disruptive themselves, there is no reason for it to be any different than the principal, nurse, librarian, janitor or anyone else walking into the classroom. After the first couple of weeks, the class knows exactly what is expected of them and how to behave when a visitor comes into the class.
Then again, I rarely see any of our parents coming in to the classroom to just 'visit'. We all come in to help the teacher in some manner. I've sorted supplies, torn out math worksheets from the workbook, set up and cleaned up special celebrations, read stories to the class while the teacher set up for the next lesson, assisted the class while the teacher worked one on one with a student and worked one on one with students myself.
Lunch, on the other hand is a completely different issue. Here, the teachers are not present in the cafeteria during lunch as they are having their own lunch break at that time.
Instead, we have lunch monitors and parent volunteers who oversee lunch.
Parents are indeed encouraged to come eat lunch with their kids. There are specific tables set aside for visiting parents and their child, so that they aren't disrupting the lunch of the rest of the class. They also get to invite one classmate to sit with them if they choose. The kids love having a guest at lunch and since it's a normal and regular occurence, it's not any kind of disruption.
Our school likes to foster the idea of family and what better way to do it than to make the meal a family friendly atmosphere? After all, it's only 20-30 minutes of the whole day.
I've suggested nicely that by this age it's really pretty important that kids do some things independently. To no avail. I've not given any stronger response to this because I feel that food/feeding is the realm of the parent, not my business.
I think it's insane the school allows parents to come into the school and do those things!
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Originally Posted by lovesMountains
Schools in general always encourage parents to come to school to eat lunch with their kids - and no one teacher can change that or make her own rules not to allow it
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Originally Posted by omigawd
Are you kidding me???? The schools around here do not want any parents hanging around the school unless they're a "class parent" (and that's for the younger grades and only 1 parent at a time) or unless they're volunteering at the sign-in desk. None of the schools my DD has been in has ever invited parents to come eat lunch with the kids unless it was a special event. As a matter of fact, even on the "field days", the kids went back inside for lunch and parents were told to leave and come back after the lunch period was over.
I've never heard of any school (from Pre-School to 12th grade) encouraging parents to come to school and eat lunch with the kids. That's very strange.
Quote:
Originally Posted by hypocore
Parents are a very integral part of education here and are encouraged to volunteer in the school, come eat lunch with their child, go on field trips and so on. This is the norm across the entire DFW metroplex, not just at our particular school.
I just wanted to validate what omigawd is saying. Schools in my area would never put up parents coming into the school to feed their children.
While they encourage parents to volunterr with lunchroom duty, field trips, storytime, etc., they do not want parents coming into the school to focus soley on their own child.
Clearly things are done differently in many areas of the country.
Are you kidding me???? The schools around here do not want any parents hanging around the school unless they're a "class parent" (and that's for the younger grades and only 1 parent at a time) or unless they're volunteering at the sign-in desk. None of the schools my DD has been in has ever invited parents to come eat lunch with the kids unless it was a special event. As a matter of fact, even on the "field days", the kids went back inside for lunch and parents were told to leave and come back after the lunch period was over.
I've never heard of any school (from Pre-School to 12th grade) encouraging parents to come to school and eat lunch with the kids. That's very strange.
Not strange AT ALL in the south - very common actually, in both public AND private schools.
In fact, large corporations give their employees time off during the day to eat lunch with their own child or to be a "lunch buddy" for a child whose parents can't/don't come to lunch. Companies actually "partner" with schools to provide adults who can be lunch buddy's.
Now, we are talking elementary school - not high school. Are you in yankeeland by any chance?
Parents are a very integral part of education here and are encouraged to volunteer in the school, come eat lunch with their child, go on field trips and so on. This is the norm across the entire DFW metroplex, not just at our particular school.
While it is a very open door policy, it's not meant for parents to be coming and going at will. You must pass a back ground check in order to be in any area where there are students. You must sign in each time you are in the school and wear a name tag that has your picture on it, teacher's name and why you are there.
The only times that the schools ask you not to be in the school is at the very beginning of the school year when they are trying to establish routines and schedules and during standardized testing.
The reverse of your thoughts, I find it very strange that there are schools that do not allow parents in the school and would have to wonder what they are hiding from the parents. It would make me question their philosophy and how they run the school. I doubt I'd feel comfortable putting my child in a school that excluded parents.
I'd agree the parent spoon feeding their child is helicoptering, but I strongly disagree that a parent volunteering in their child's school is the same.
EXACTLY.
I would never have allowed my kids to be in schools I did not have access to at a moment's notice.
How odd that there are schools who do not allow parents to come and eat lunch w/ their kid. I think it is a nice thing, once and awhile, to eat with your child. I do not see this as 'helicoptering' - I had lunch with my son on his b/day, and see nothing wrong with it. He is in kinder, btw. My 4th grader has not invited me for lunch, but I know a lot of moms who join their older elementary children.
But to the OP, those parents are over the top and are creating food issues with their children. But I've learned that food can be a huge issue when you have a picky eater, and it does not seem like a problem that is open to other's suggestions - one of my best friends has struggled for years with her son and food, it is a total power game but one that I am powerless to change. I have made suggestions that fall on deaf ears, so I've given up. I do not imagine as a teacher you would have much luck, other than with the school's support limiting the # of days these parents can visit during lunch - a 'rule' thing rather than a 'that doesn't seem the best approach to changing a 5 year old's eating habits' thing.
I think it is nice to go to school to have lunch with your kid EVERY ONCE IN A WHILE. I think to go every day is beyond excessive. Lunch buddies? What is the purpose of this? What is wrong with just eating with your classmates?
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