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My DD will be 18 years old next month. We live in a state where you can drive at 15, but she refuses to drive. For most of her life she's been pretty fearless, in fact has scared me on various occasions with her risks. But for the last couple of years she's grown reluctant to do things she deems dangerous. Even though we live in a semi-rural town where she would not be subjected to lots of traffic, she's convinced if she drives she'll have an accident and kill herself.
She'll be graduating high school this year and it will be impossible for her to go to college or work at a job without a drivers' license. DH tells her she needs to just pass the written test and get her permit and then she can or cannot drive. He thinks she will want to drive a little and will eventually work up her courage. I'm baffled, this is so unlike her.
I would let her know that if she doesnt try, then she never will and let her know mom and dad arent gonna take her everywhere she needs to go, ie: the mall, a girlfriens house etc. My daughter was scared to death to take the test at DMV, but finally did when I stopped being the "Mom Taxi" she always thought I would be, she'll come around...hopefully.
Good Luck!
My 15-year-old has no interest in driving either. I'm not pushing it yet. I can see a city bus stop from my house. He has options. Just think of all the money I will save if he waits until 18 or 19 to drive! (He'll almost be 19 when he graduates high school.)
I, on the the other hand, started driving at age 12 in the country and 15 in the city, illegally with my parents' permission. I had a friend back then who wouldn't drive either at age 16 when it's legal. She eventually got her license the summer after she graduated high school. She was 18. Her reason was fear.
I would buy her a bicycle as her graduation gift and let her know that is how she can get around until she is ready to drive. You and your husband cannot cart her around forever.
I was the same way too but it was because my dad was a nervous wreck when he was a passenger and I was driving the car so this could be the same situation with your daughter. Being in the car with mom or dad as passenger makes her nervous.
Well, if it will be impossible for her to go to college or work without a driver's license and she is refusing to take the test, I would be sitting down with her and coming up with a plan B - because what is her plan, to sit around all day and be driven around?
Is there a college she can go to where she can live on campus and not need a vehicle? Where there is a bus system she can use to get to work?
Has she gotten behind the wheel at all, taken baby steps to get past the fears? If not, she needs to get behind that wheel and see that's it's not that big a deal. But she will need a lot of practice because it's the behind the wheel experience that builds confidence.
If she wants to refuse, tell her fine, but then she needs to have a concrete plan to get around the problem. And that you driving her anywhere is not an option.
Neither going to college or getting a job requires a driver's license, only identification. Both my older girls were over 18 when they got their license. The oldest was 4 years into college before she got hers and the second was in her 3rd year before getting hers.
My oldest was the one that had the fear issue. It took her getting enough self confidence after going to college and being in the workforce to get her to learn. It simply took time, more than it should have, however once she did learn it was quickly, with confidence and little concern over her having an accident. Not to mention the savings on car insurance...haha
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