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Sorry, I have to disagree with the rest of the posters. I would have him pay you either a small amount of rent, and put it in a savings account for him when he moves out. Or tell him he needs to help around the house. He is 20, he needs to somehow contribute and learn you will not always be there to take care of him.
Sorry, I have to disagree with the rest of the posters. I would have him pay you either a small amount of rent, and put it in a savings account for him when he moves out. Or tell him he needs to help around the house. He is 20, he needs to somehow contribute and learn you will not always be there to take care of him.
I agree he should do SOMETHING. I just don't think she should kick him out.
OP: Why does he need to work so much if he doesn't pay rent? Could he cut back on work hours and spend more time helping out at home?
Sorry, I have to disagree with the rest of the posters. I would have him pay you either a small amount of rent, and put it in a savings account for him when he moves out. Or tell him he needs to help around the house. He is 20, he needs to somehow contribute and learn you will not always be there to take care of him.
I agree... if he's working f/t, he should be making some kind of financial contribution to the household.
Other than that, I think he's doing fine --- going to school, working full time.
I agree with the minority. He's of age where he should be contributing more than occasionally taking out the trash. I don't see why so many think he shouldn't. Heck, I work full-time, go to school part-time, and take care of what needs to be done in my house.
I am assuming (perhaps wrongly...) that the money he earns is paying his college tuition and personal expenses....if his parents are paying his tuition and he is stashing the money he makes (or using it toward "wants" not "needs"), then I would agree he should help out. If the only contribution his parents are making to his education is living rent free and he is paying his tuition, car etc payments, I stand by my original post.....
What age do you start handing out Apartment guides to your adult children? Ours is Twenty and contributes to the household in NO WAY WHAT SO EVER. He is going to school and working almost full time, but i am at my wits end with him. He does nothing around the house, except eat, shower, laundry,etc.....Once in a while he will take the trash out, but needs to be asked. He is a Stepson to me (had him since he was eight) and i think Momma tends to protect him a bit much. What should i do???
He should be expected to pay for his portion of the food and the utilities and keep his room clean. If he uses the kitchen, he should be expected to clean up after himself and ditto with the laundry.
If he is unwilling to contribute to his care and feeding, then he must learn to make his way in the real world. Otherwise, when the day comes that he does strike out on his own he won't have a clue how to budget his money to cover his expenses or take care of himself.
This is a learning opportunity. It's up to you to make sure he learns his lessons well.
20yrsinBranson
who was up and out of the house and proudly supporting herself at 18 years of age.
IMO he should at least clean up after himself. For example if he makes lunch he should wipe off the counter tops, put dishes in the DW or rinse them off etc. I wouldn't make him do the heavy cleaning like scrubbing the floors or cleaning the inside of the oven.
He does pay for his own school, and he does pay his car payments. The rest of his money he will just go blow, like a 42 inch t.v. etc... He also seems to go out a lot, im sure most of his money is spent there. I am just concerned he will turn out to be a 25 year old STILL living at home. When i was his age i pretty much got thrown to the wolfs. It was sink or swim for me. I dont see much ambition on his part to move out, i think in his mind he has it made here, so why move out. Everything is paid for him, (cell phone, food, electricity,water, trash, laundry soap,etc...) My favorite is when i hear him complaining that there is nothing to eat, theres no laundry soap,and so on. Im just getting tired of taking care of a ADULT MAN......
He does pay for his own school, and he does pay his car payments. The rest of his money he will just go blow, like a 42 inch t.v. etc... He also seems to go out a lot, im sure most of his money is spent there. I am just concerned he will turn out to be a 25 year old STILL living at home. When i was his age i pretty much got thrown to the wolfs. It was sink or swim for me. I dont see much ambition on his part to move out, i think in his mind he has it made here, so why move out. Everything is paid for him, (cell phone, food, electricity,water, trash, laundry soap,etc...) My favorite is when i hear him complaining that there is nothing to eat, theres no laundry soap,and so on. Im just getting tired of taking care of a ADULT MAN......
He has a bigger TV in his room than I have in my living room??? I say he should pay for his own cell phone at least. And if there is something specific he wants from the grocery store, he can go and get it. If he is paying for his own school and car I don't necessarily think he needs to pay for part of the utilities at home. If dad is agreeable, maybe you could decide on a time line for him to be done with school and/or out of the house. I can see it becoming a problem if he is just messing around and taking a class or 2 per semester. If he is really working toward a degree and taking a full load every semester, I don't see the problem with him living at home. Rather than making him pay, I think teaching him to clean up after himself, cook, do laundry, etc. could be more helpful for him and his future wife!
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