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I have the same problems with my 8yr old, she just forgets to do that stuff, lol.
Most 15yr old girls are on top of it, but like you said she does have CP, which can cause her to be less mature and more childlike than her peers.
I would just continue doing what you are doing, there is nothing else to say. I don't believe that she needs to see a mental health prefessional, or be diagnosed with anything else. I've spent time with people that have CP in various severity, and all of them are a bit more immature; so maybe you can go to a CP sepcific website, or a CP org, and ask for help, and ask how to get this to click for her.
Good luck!
I have to remind my 9yo to take a shower and brush her teeth. I assume that this is normal at this age?!?! I wonder if the 15yo is emotionally 9 or 10yrs old.
Okay first and foremost you have to realize that your daughter is not you. You can't compare stuff you would or wouldn't have done with her behavior, because a) she is not you, and b) she's growing up in a whole different time era which means it's a different culture from the one you grew up in.
And the whole thing about her not being interested in boys at her school...do you want her to end up pregnant in high school?
PS. I hope, for her sake as well as yours, that she doesn't somehow come across this public forum and read some of the stuff you've written about her. I doubt she will, but you never know.
I had to chime in early but she sounds a lot like me at that age. If it helps, I did well in college, married a wonderful young man at 20, and have been married 38 years. I was much more interested in books and school from at least age 12. Never dated as I was not into that part of high school. Did not do much in high school with others since the social aspects were confusing. Was more a watcher than a participant.
I just did not know how to relate to others who were not into what was my passion at the time. But a job and college were both important to me and I was successful at both. Retired recently from a Federal career.
Things have consistently gotten much better over the years. it took a lot of experiences and practice at real life. Everyone is different and will live their life at their own schedule.
My daughter, 12, was a lot like her till she turned 11. Before that I was always having to ask her to brush her hair and keep herself presentable. Ofcourse she brushed her teeth but she wasnt very concerned about her appearance and her clothes. Fastforward to a year, all this has changed. Like your daughter, she is into books/music and a good student. Now in Grade 7, I find her well groomed. In fact, she has developed a unique style of dressing herself which is very different from most girls her age but very cool.
What I did was to talk to her all the time about hygeine and grooming, even when I thought she was not listening. Somehow it got through to her at some point and it is now showing.
I dont think there is anything wrong with your daughter. She is just different and developing at a pace slower than her peers. Appreciate the fact that she loves books and is a good student. However much you hate it, you have to be after her, every morning and night to make sure she showers, brushes her teeth and washes her face, wears a deo etc.Even when you are not home at that time, call her and remind her about it. And as someone said before, refuse to take her out anywhere without her being presentable. Reinforcement, firmly, kindly yet repeatedly will do the trick but you have to be patient. She will not change instantly. She may take months or maybe a few more years. Try not to see it as a failing. She has a lot of good qualities and I can think of far worse things to worry about as a parent of a 15 yr old girl. Good luck.
Liking boys in high school =! getting knocked up in HS.
And lol @ whoever used =!. I thought that was just an IRC/internet thing...so did not expect anyone here to know that.
And I don't agree with hygiene being a social thing. I think as society progresses we find more efficient ways to do things.
We didn't have things like soap and shampoo and anything remotely close to what we have now..
If we had those things always and some people chose NOT to do them I would say its a social thing but basic hygiene since we do now have the resources, it's expected, not a trend..
And just because something was more acceptable then doesn't make it any less nasty or disgusting now.
Just like because some people are still sexist towards women doesn't make them any more right just because it was/still is acceptable in some areas.
I am a firm believer of things are what they are plain and simple, we as society make them into what we thing they should be and I don't play like that.
Pants are pants, they do not make you more or less masculine.
Tattoos are body ink, not a sign of someone being a ****ty person.
A belly button piercing is just that, it's a piercing of the belly button, it does not make someone a ****.
This is why I hate society...
Until we can all function like, you know, normal human beings and stop our narrow minded conservative bull**** then they world is going to continue spiraling into hell.
I mean really, lets all step off the mayflower already and quit with the conservative crap, it makes me sick and stop treating one another as second class citizens, quit hating on technology and stop acting like children need to be watched like prisoners...
I have a 15yr old daughter and she is so totally clueless when it comes socially, and in self hyigene. As in I have to tell her each day to brush her teeth, brush her hair, wash her face. If I dont, she wont do these things. She will walk around with nasty stuff on her teeth, a dirty face, and hair a tangled mess. We've tried charts, bribes, threats, Dr visits, you name it. sigh. I thought teenage girls were supposed to be all wrapped up in themselves and their looks. Now grant you, I was never into the makeup/hair styling, but theres no way I would have ever even THOUGHT about going in public w/o doing the basics. My daughter, she could go a WEEK w/o doing any of them and not think twice.
The other part to this, is she is socially clueless. While her classmates are going on about boys, she is going on about how HOT Harry Potter is. Or about how much she is in love with Jacob from Twilight. She got really into the James Patterson Max series and so she goes around with her self proclaimed nickname of Max and is obsessed with that and all the charicters that go with it.
Now grant you, she was a micro-premiee (27weeks) and along with some extremely mild CP I know she is immature for her age. I just dont know how to help her out. Or if what shes doing(not doing) is typical at all? Im thankful Im not having the worries of her being sexually active, she still hasnt even had a boy call the house or anything. Ever. Theyre just not interested. Frankly, I dont think I could be either. Not when it comes to the point where my otherwise beautiful daughter is walking around all day with crusty boogers all over her nose. (YUCK!!!) Shes got younger siblings who dont have issues with this stuff. Even her 11yr old brother thinks its gross to go w/o brushing teeth. And her little sister, oh boy, She's the one who thinks shes a teen!! I know kids are all different, but I hate to see my oldest daughter constantly left out of everything because of this stuff.
Any thoughts, tidbits, advice, or experience??? please?
Definitely consult another doctor and get another opinion; this is just beyond laziness. There may be an underlying problem, since she has been like this since Day 1. Teens in high school can VERY cruel and I'm surprised that negative comments haven't been made in ear range of her that would reduce her to tears.
One suggestion is to talk to your daughter, get to really know her as she's going through her teen years and see how she views life. Definitely look for signs of low self-esteem. Is she really interested in a particular boy that is put off by her lack of hygeine? Is her lack of hygiene preventing her from making friends in school? On the flip side: Is she into science and what things are made up of chemically? Tell her to conduct an experiment: wash her own hair and record the results! Find and use whatever you can and try to find a solution for her to break this bad hygiene cycle.
Good luck to you!
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