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Maybe when she does look nice, make sure you load her down with compliments but try not to put her down too much when she doesn't. They say positive reinforcement when it comes to looks and clothes can do a lot. She may be just unaware. Look at our ancestors 200 years ago when they didn't bathe every day, or wear deodorant, or 2000 years ago. Hygiene is more learned than natural if you think about it.
A friend of mine teaches special ed and has mentioned that a lot of kids with Aspergers often have trouble with hygiene and social interaction. To be 15 and unaware of the basics sounds like it's just not clicking. Talk to her school and see if they can help get her tested. If she does actually have a problem, you can approach the situation differently.
Her brother actually is Aspie, ironically enough, hes very big on self hygiene. Go figure.
This has actually been a struggle most of her life. Of course, as a baby I did it all for her, as a toddler, we did it together, as a small child, we'd still do it together, as she got older, I tried to get her to do it more on her own, but each and every day/night, until I tell her to, she does none of it on her own. I have to be gone on a lot of weekends for my 2nd job, so Im not always here on the weekends to tell her to do these things, and when I get back, unless her Dad has told her to do it, shes done nothing. I have "tested her" by telling her "Okay, we have to leave in 30min to go to the mall" to see if she will take it upon herself. She'll get dressed (she IS into clothes. has her ownvery conservative and lovely style) but will be saying shes ready to go w/o the other stuff done. Ive gotten to where I will let her into the car, then say "Uhhh..did you forget something?" and she'll roll her eyes and groan like its a huge deal, and trudge back in to do it.
I have taken her to bath and body, and let her pick out her own stuff, didnt help. Given her $$ to get her own stuff, shes all happy to buy it, then just sets it aside. Ive talked to her, and she nods and gets all irriated at me for "bothering her"...taken her to the beauty salon, and she'll love the new hairdo and all, but then just let it go within a day or two.
went to the Dentist, he says she has beautiful teeth. Well, ya, cuz i stand over her morning and night to make sure she is brushing/flossing.
The Dr says shes fine, and its just being a lazy teenager. But I dunno.....it doesnt sit right with me. Thats why I wanted opinions and all.....
oh yeah, i should have been more clear...sorry! and thanks.
Okay, sorry, so anyhow, she is a very very bright girl in most things, shes been honor roll up through now (freshman in HS) is advanced in some classes, she has a part-time job which she shows great responsibility in. She does community service on her own free will. I do compliment her on when shes does well, but it just doesnt seem to do the trick. Ive asked her about it and she says its just too much of a bother, she doesnt want to do it. She doesnt like the zits from not washing her face, but to her, its not worth the effort of washing to avoid. What am I doing wrong here?
A friend of mine teaches special ed and has mentioned that a lot of kids with Aspergers often have trouble with hygiene and social interaction. To be 15 and unaware of the basics sounds like it's just not clicking. Talk to her school and see if they can help get her tested. If she does actually have a problem, you can approach the situation differently.
No Kudzu mentioned this too. The problems with hygiene and social interaction are a big tip off. Asperger's Syndrome or something else, you will be herding her into the shower and watching her brush her teeth for a while. LOL, the chart is for you. Schedules and consistency will make things easier in the long run. No threats no bribes...real consequences. It's very tiring.
A friend of mine teaches special ed and has mentioned that a lot of kids with Aspergers often have trouble with hygiene and social interaction. To be 15 and unaware of the basics sounds like it's just not clicking. Talk to her school and see if they can help get her tested. If she does actually have a problem, you can approach the situation differently.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Gerania
No Kudzu mentioned this too. The problems with hygiene and social interaction are a big tip off. Asperger's Syndrome or something else, you will be herding her into the shower and watching her brush her teeth for a while. LOL, the chart is for you. Schedules and consistency will make things easier in the long run. No threats no bribes...real consequences. It's very tiring.
I agree, get her tested, especially if she already has some underlying medical conditions. From what you describe I would be shocked if she wasn't some where on the Asperger/Autism spectrum.
I would just say...........if the doctor says she is fine..............that we see what we want to see and may not see the real picture. Maybe you are overpercieving her "faults".
Have you talked with her teachers? Do they have concerns?
The thing about friends.......you sure she does not have them and just does not bring them by the house? Maybe you hover over her too much?
The Dr says shes fine, and its just being a lazy teenager. But I dunno.....it doesnt sit right with me. Thats why I wanted opinions and all.....
I would get a second opinion. Many pediatricians are not trained in areas besides physical childhood illnesses. I'll never forget our pediatrician telling me how limited his education was in adolescent mental health.
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