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Isn't is a common rant on here to how awful parents are this day, how they don't parent and let their children run wild? And now people are complaining that the OP is horrible for not allowing her 15 y.o son to ride his bike who-knows-where after dark?!
There is no contradiction of the sort you are suggesting. Riding a bike somewhere after dark does not equal "running wild".
If the kid got in trouble while riding after dark (or before dark), especially repeatedly, and the parent did nothing to stop it, that would be the "awful" parenting that people complain about. There is not even a hint in this case of any such thing having happened.
Unless the OP lives in the ghetto or the teenager has problems that haven't been brought up yet, it is unusually and probably unnecessarily restrictive to tell a 15-year-old he must be home before dark on a school night. And I have no problem with strictness as such--heck, I even believe in spanking.
I wouldn't go that far. Kids owe their parents obedience whether they like the rules or not. I concur with what seems to be the majority here, however, that this is unusually restrictive.
I agree they have to follow the rules set forth. But I also see why he squeezed in those extra hours. He's 15 not 12.
Apparently I need to clarify myself further. When I posted on here I didn't think I was going to get attacked for my parenting style.
Almost every day this summer my son has left the house around 11:30/12:00 in the morning/afternoon to go "hang out". Often times he just goes to ride around town. Then he might stop at a friends house and they will walk to another friend's house, and so on until there is a group of 5 or 6 of them wandering around town. Sometimes they will hang out at someone's house but this is not often the case.
This is where I have the problem with him staying out late. Often they will walk to the grocery/convenience store and buy some snacks and "hang out" at the local park. That's fine in the daytime. I don't think it is wise for a group of bored teenagers to be wandering around after dark. As a homeowner, I would not be happy if there was a group of teens "hanging out" in front of my house after dark(unless my son was one of them). I have a friend who lives near the park where the teens frequent and she has had numerous things stolen or valdalized from her property due to bored teens.
I don't have a problem with him staying out past 6 if he has something to do (ie party) where I know where he is and there is at least some adult supervision. I realize that in a year he will have his license and a job and he will be out more than he will be home. I don't have a problem with that.
Also, I forgot to mention in my original post, that I texted him at 7:00 to ask him where he was and he did not respond.
Nope, no need to clarify, it was exactly as I suspected. I bet you're one of those moms that thinks they can smell your breath and look at your eyes to tell if you've been high in the past month, right? All your post did is confirm exactly what people assumed.
As for your friend who has had stuff stolen, I wouldn't worry about it unless your son has been brought home by the police for it. I'd be willing to bet she has NO idea who ACTUALLY took her stuff.
Apparently I need to clarify myself further. When I posted on here I didn't think I was going to get attacked for my parenting style.
When you solicit honest opinions, you run the risk of not having your posterior kissed by everyone. Sorry, that's free speech. You ought to see the sort of calumny those of us who are pro-spanking have to listen to.
Quote:
This is where I have the problem with him staying out late. Often they will walk to the grocery/convenience store and buy some snacks and "hang out" at the local park. That's fine in the daytime. I don't think it is wise for a group of bored teenagers to be wandering around after dark. As a homeowner, I would not be happy if there was a group of teens "hanging out" in front of my house after dark(unless my son was one of them). I have a friend who lives near the park where the teens frequent and she has had numerous things stolen or valdalized from her property due to bored teens.
"Teens" are not interchangeable, and your kid should not pay for other people's mistakes.
If you do decide to ground him, I would say the fact that he lied deserves a more severe punishment than coming home late .. (I would just give X-tra chores for that one, but the lies would get 6-flags yanked ) Just my opinion of course
It sounds to me that a lot of your unreasonable demands on him, stem from you being pretty insecure. You can't even go to bed without knowing he's home? HE'S 15! If its that big of an issue, have him wake you up when he gets home. I'm sitting here visualizing you watching the clock and fuming when he doesn't get home in time for you to be happy.
There is nothing wrong with not going to bed until your 15 year old is safe and sound... Since when did 15 become 21 ? How old is 15 anyway ??
Apparently I need to clarify myself further. When I posted on here I didn't think I was going to get attacked for my parenting style.
Almost every day this summer my son has left the house around 11:30/12:00 in the morning/afternoon to go "hang out". Often times he just goes to ride around town. Then he might stop at a friends house and they will walk to another friend's house, and so on until there is a group of 5 or 6 of them wandering around town. Sometimes they will hang out at someone's house but this is not often the case.
This is where I have the problem with him staying out late. Often they will walk to the grocery/convenience store and buy some snacks and "hang out" at the local park. That's fine in the daytime. I don't think it is wise for a group of bored teenagers to be wandering around after dark. As a homeowner, I would not be happy if there was a group of teens "hanging out" in front of my house after dark(unless my son was one of them). I have a friend who lives near the park where the teens frequent and she has had numerous things stolen or valdalized from her property due to bored teens.
I don't have a problem with him staying out past 6 if he has something to do (ie party) where I know where he is and there is at least some adult supervision. I realize that in a year he will have his license and a job and he will be out more than he will be home. I don't have a problem with that.
Also, I forgot to mention in my original post, that I texted him at 7:00 to ask him where he was and he did not respond.
You'll find that I'm going to actually stick to the original question.....I had parents sticter than you and I turned out just fine lol
Other's have mention that the 1st lie should have been punished....I would have done a mild one...maybe one day he had to stay home.
But if the 2nd one turns out to be a lie then I say nix the 6-flags. Make sure he knows why. That's it because he lied...not really because he stayed out late.
Teenagers like toddlers will test you to the end. I knew and my kids knew the punishment would be worse if I lied about what I did.
I'd get punished for what I did AND I'd get punished worse for lying about it.
All in all he sounds like a good kid that's testing the waters a bit.
Apparently I need to clarify myself further. When I posted on here I didn't think I was going to get attacked for my parenting style.
I'm surprised by the attacks too OP. There have been a couple in this thread who have been flat-out rude and militant with their unsolicited curfew opinions. Please don't think everyone on here is that way.
I may be confused, but I believe you were asking whether to restrict your son from a Six Flags trip for what sounded like a probable lie (the second in two days)...period. You DID NOT ask for a commentary on curfew times and should not have to explain yourself to a bunch of strangers. Does 6PM sound a little early? Maybe...but, that's your call as his mom and you probably have your reasons.
I was pounced by one or two wolves on here too...the first time I posted in fact...and I was in the middle of a 7&8 year-old-boy revolt in which friendly discipline advice was sought...nothing more. Before I knew it, we were off on whether or not people who choose not to have children are inferior...hahaha. Don't worry about that kind of nonsense. Set curfew as you see fit and punish lies.
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