Creative Ways To Discipline Your Kids (method, punishment, loose control, teaching)

[brit3218]

I was wondering what is the most effective and creative method that you have used to discipline your children besides spanking or time outs? Be creative! I hope my question is not confusing. I'm just curious because when I become a parent I want to do more than to shape my child's behavior I want to shape her heart. I believe that the punishment should fit the crime. Let me hear your idea/examples!

[Huckleberry3911948]

we have been creative for 40 years. incredibly creative. the result is a very large crop of aggressive ill behaved orangutans .
if you whoopem at 8 you wont have to shootem at 18.

[findinghope]

BRIT--i was like you, wanting to be creative. i was convinced that i would have such a bond with my child that i would just look him in the eyes, and he would realize just what he needed to do. that i would speak to him softly and he would listen and obey.
then he was born and lo and behold---he has his own agenda--lol
kids dont "get it". its repeat and repeat---and takes the patience of Job!!!! most days i just want to hide in my closet until nap time.

[cislga]

Lower your voice when your are angry. Do not raise it. There's a saying I can't remember what wise person said it first. "He who yells first has lost control." It's great to remember in any relationship.

I used to tell my son if he didn't knock off whatever behavior he was doing that my head would spin around and green stuff would spit out of my mouth. It worked until he was about nine and then he replied "Oh yeah, let me see it!"

[FarNorthDallas]

I sometimes let natural consequences take place - let him touch the hot stove, let him step on glass, let him get cold when he refused to wear a coat, let him get zeros on homework, let him get lost, etc. You'll find a lot of parents prevent and protect to such an extreme, the kids don't get to experience what the problem is - and experience means a lot more than words.

[regarese]

My daughter is 3. Sometimes we'll switch roles and she'll say, "I the mommy and you Brina." I play along and give her some of the same difficulties she gives me. She often responds the way I would to her, so I can see that she is hearing what I say to her even if she doesn't always act that way. LOL. It's not really disciplining, but it does allow me to see that I am getting through to her. It also allows me to see how bossy I sound to her when she mimics me. I'm not saying I shouldn't "be the boss" of my child, but hearing how I sound to her...it's an eye opener sometimes.

[therewego]

Taking away a few toys for a day. They have seen it happen so know the consequence if the behavior does not change, they won't see dolly for a day.

Also have done the reverse role playing: like if I am starving I will pretend I am crying wahhhhhhh so they can see how they look when they do that rather than using their words to say "feed me please".

[scorpy01]

I have 5 sons. Having no brothers myself, parenting was a culture shock on may levels. One thing that really threw me was physical aggression. I'd never dealt with actual fighting between siblings before.

My older boys were about 11 and 13, taller than me and stronger, too. They began bickering one day, then pushing and finally a really hard shove - right in my dining room. In my deepest voice possible, I said, "Stop!" They looked at me for an instance and I ordered them to drop to the floor and do pushups. They looked confused and then they giggled. They asked how many and I told them to keep doing the push ups until they were too tired to fight.

That turned out to be one of the best punishments ever. I used it many times and the boys always ended up competing and laughing.

[rockinmomma]

not really a dicipline technique, but a life technique. Teach the child how to communicate (use your words) and that there are concequences. Concequences are different than dicipline, because you can have good concequences.... have you ever heard of good dicipline? As for the bad concequences for bad choices.... that would depend on the crime. A bar of soap for dirty words or backtalking...All broken toys being thrown away teaches responsibility... Dirty clothes not making it to the hamper means your favorite jeans will not be cleaned.

Even with all these "alternative" life lessons, I have still swatted a behind and popped fingers. There are times when you need to get the point across that an activity is not permitted. Some people feel this is teaching the child to hit. I have to disagree, in my case. My son is the most physically passive kid I know. He has laid hands on a kid 3 (three) times in his life... he is 15. One time was a bully picking on a smaller kid... the bully didn't like Son telling him to stop, threw the first punch.... Next was some kid in the lunch line at school.... the boy just egged and egged until son used karate defense moves to deflect the boy's punches. And the one that Son did make the first physical move on.... in preschool.... Son was got into a fight at naptime when another kid was throwing things at him. Son got up went to the boys mat and they got into it.
Spanking and "traditional" dicipline has gotten a bad rap. If a parent uses physical punishment at a teaching tool instead of "I am angry, you've got on my last nerve" then it can be very effective. It goes back to the raising of the voice from a PP.... you have already lost when you loose control.

[mrs.coach]

Good one Scorpy01! My DH calls them (my 4 boys) puppies.....wrestling around biting each other's tails.....it definitely WAS a culture shock for me, too!