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I was wondering what is the most effective and creative method that you have used to discipline your children besides spanking or time outs? Be creative! I hope my question is not confusing. I'm just curious because when I become a parent I want to do more than to shape my child's behavior I want to shape her heart. I believe that the punishment should fit the crime. Let me hear your idea/examples!
Why creative? Why not effective? It does not seem like you want to discuss discipline but punishment. I suggest you rethink your definition of discipline. From the ground up.
I was traditional, for the most part, with my daughter and son. When they were younger and would fight I'd make them hug or sit on the couch holding hands until I said they could stop. Only had to do that a couple of times...worked like a charm! When they got older it was take away the cell phone or house phone from my daughter and video games from my son when necessary. As for my daughter, just the thought of having to ride the bus once she got her driver's license was moritfying enough to tow the line! Once when my son tried to play the old, "we had a sub today so we didn't get our report card" game he learned real fast that it was a one time only play. Day 1, I believed him, day 2, I didn't but let him think I did. Day 3 I had it faxed to me from school. When he tried to explain why he didn't have it, the look on his little 13 year old face was priceless when I told him I had it already. Punishment...no video games of any kind for 6 weeks. Result...grades turned completely around and I never had to resort to that tactic again. I love it when a plan comes together!
Once when my daughter was about 5 she was being incredibly annoying and selfish when it came to sharing with her little brother, something she had been put on time out over many times before but she kept it up anyway.
So finally one day I just lost it. I got a big box and removed every.single.toy of hers out of her room and the rest of the house. EVERYTHING I could find went away. She was hysterical.
Then I told her she would have to earn them back one by one. And if I caught her being a little pain with her brother again we'd start all over. It took her 3 weeks to get it all back.
She's 9 now and hasn't been a big discipline problem ever since. I think she still has a sense of not quite knowing what I'll do. LOL
Now her brother on the other hand is as hard headed as they come. I still haven't cracked the code with that one. I'll take any suggestions y'all got. Heh.
I was wondering what is the most effective and creative method that you have used to discipline your children besides spanking or time outs? Be creative! I hope my question is not confusing. I'm just curious because when I become a parent I want to do more than to shape my child's behavior I want to shape her heart. I believe that the punishment should fit the crime. Let me hear your idea/examples!
My mom used "creative threatening" to diffuse frustration. "If you don't stop whining right this instant, I'll hunt down a beehive and stick you head first into it." "Stop making excuses and do your homework now, or I will cover your feet in mayo and make you use your toes to write that essay!"
It would get me laughing at the absurdity of it, which usually would calm me down.
My mom used "creative threatening" to diffuse frustration. "If you don't stop whining right this instant, I'll hunt down a beehive and stick you head first into it." "Stop making excuses and do your homework now, or I will cover your feet in mayo and make you use your toes to write that essay!"
It would get me laughing at the absurdity of it, which usually would calm me down.
LOL! Definitely a good tool to throw in the toolbox. When you, like me because I have no known sense of humor or at least not one anyone else can understand, overuse it, it still works because they roll their eyes in exasperation.
When my kids would fight, I made them hug each other and sing a song, "Love at home". They stopped fighting in front of me, and if I thought they were fighting, I would ask them, and they would swear that they were not fighting...because they KNEW the "punishment".
Complain about the food? Fine, you can go hungry. They never did that again.
I had a huge Lazy Boy in the living room, it was gigantic, that was the "dreaded time out" chair. It was not a hard stool, but, it served the same purpose. I don't know why people make time out so miserable.
BRIT--i was like you, wanting to be creative. i was convinced that i would have such a bond with my child that i would just look him in the eyes, and he would realize just what he needed to do. that i would speak to him softly and he would listen and obey.
then he was born and lo and behold---he has his own agenda--lol
kids dont "get it". its repeat and repeat---and takes the patience of Job!!!! most days i just want to hide in my closet until nap time.
Yeah, I was the perfect parent until I had kids also.
I do believe in looking the child in the eyes, but to read his soul and then realize what was needed.
Actually that's how you can tell if you shouldn't spank a child, there are some who will defy you to do it and then tell you it didn't hurt at all. You have discipline according to the child you have -- there is no one-size fits all when it comes to raising children.
Well, my mother had the eye. She could shoot us the eye one time and whatever we were doing, we would stop in our tracks. Done. It was over.
Note: the only way she had this power was because we knew what was behind the eye if we didn't straighten up. I don't ever remember my mother spanking us but that is because she did it when we were toddlers and she never needed to do it again.
We don't spank bc my husband is all philosophical about childrearing and doesn't want to do so but I often question that judgment because our kid is very, very strong-willed (as are his mother and father). I have told my husband that if the distraction method doesn't work and time out doesn't work after he is a bit older and can understand it, I'm resorting to what works. I won't have a boy bigger than me out of hand in my house. If I don't reign him in, the world will. I hope distraction and time out works.
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