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we have been creative for 40 years. incredibly creative. the result is a very large crop of aggressive ill behaved orangutans .
if you whoopem at 8 you wont have to shootem at 18.
amen and that is why our generation now has quite a few in jail because parents are too busy trying to be their kids friend instead of their parent .
amen and that is why our generation now has quite a few in jail because parents are too busy trying to be their kids friend instead of their parent .
Phonelady61, you're still trying to propagate your spanking agenda in a creative discipline topic? What's creative about spanking? You never answered my question in the spanking thread about requesting facts for your opinions? Probably because there are none - just more unsubstantiated opinions.
I could easily say - and just as warrantless as your opinion above - it's because of close-minded, apathetic, physical violence-loving people that so many children are in jail. Statements like that just cause more divisiveness, don't they?
It is possible to parent while providing kind, firm, loving discipline without raising one's hand.
Seems like the intent of the OP was to gather alternatives to spanking and time-outs.
I'm not sure why you need to be creative...you need to be firm and consistent. Personally, I don't believe in spanking, but I do believe in getting them where it hurts. Which means, I take away the things they really really like. In our case, it's Wii and ds. It could be something else for your kids. I also believe in time-outs, especially for little kids, minutes based on age (5yr-5min), since they need to sit quietly and ponder.
The key is being consistent and having a unified front with your spouse. Otherwise, nothing creative or not will work.
We try to practice logical and natural consequences. Natural consequences, so long as they are not too dangerous, are easy as far as "creativity" because you just let happen what will. Things like, child refuses to wear her jacket, then she will be cold. Logical consequences could be used for times when the natural consequence would be dangerous (ie running into the street results in getting hit by a car) or other times when you prefer, and these can require some creativity, at least more creativity than is required of a spank or time-out. In the above case, we say that she can either hold our hand outside or else we will carry her if she cannot be trusted not to run into the street. It is a restriction of freedom, like a time-out is, but it is taylored to the specific situation, and it also lasts longer than a time-out, because a time-out is a one-time thing, and this lasts until we give her a chance to let us trust her walking by herself again. Most importantly, the discipline is related to the infraction. That's not to say that we never use time-outs. They have their place within our system of discipline, but they are not the "go-to" solution for everything.
I remember being very struck by the differences between my mom and dad's discipline style (divorced) as a kid/teen. My mom was all about time-out, which as a child gets older is the same as being grounded. My dad was more of a logical consequences guy. At my mom's house, anything I did wrong, I got grounded, whether it was something like eat an extra piece of candy when I wasn't supposed to or forget to clean out the cat litter, or something like sneak my boyfriend into the house when my parents weren't home. The only difference was how long I was grounded for and which things I was grounded from (going out, TV, computer, music, etc.). Her punishments were never related to the crime though, and were never really effective because it just wasn't that big of a deal to me - I knew I could just wait out my time. She punishes my sisters the same way still, and just as I could see it from the child's perspective, I can also now see from an adult's perspective that it is not very effective or meaningful as a form of punishment. At my dad's house, however, it was very different. His punishments were specific to the infraction and were effective. The "best" punishment I got was when I came home late for curfew. At my mom's house, I would have been grounded for a week maybe and not been able to go out the next weekend. At my dad's house, I wasn't grounded at all, but my new curfew was now an hour earlier. Permanently. And I was never late again. THAT was a very effective punishment, and a great example of using logical consequences instead of arbitrary ones. Even then, I knew that that was how I would discipline with my own kids, not the way my mom did things.
When I saw the one about the low voice I had to laugh. My son will tell you they had to decide if they were going to run for their lives or quiver with fear when I or hubby got the "silent but deadly" tone.
We done the negotiation thing...I'd ask how many times I had to asked them to do something before they did it and I promised not to get mad until they had surpassed the limit. They thought that was pretty cool until they learned they were doing what I said anyway.
Sassing? When they started "telling" me what to do, they'd get.."Are you asking me or telling me?" They learned quickly, that telling me wasn't a good idea.
Your thought process is in the right place but understand that no one way works on every kid....ages matter too.
Just be firm, consistant and fair and you'll do fine.
Phonelady61, you're still trying to propagate your spanking agenda in a creative discipline topic? What's creative about spanking? You never answered my question in the spanking thread about requesting facts for your opinions? Probably because there are none - just more unsubstantiated opinions.
I could easily say - and just as warrantless as your opinion above - it's because of close-minded, apathetic, physical violence-loving people that so many children are in jail. Statements like that just cause more divisiveness, don't they?
It is possible to parent while providing kind, firm, loving discipline without raising one's hand.
Seems like the intent of the OP was to gather alternatives to spanking and time-outs.
Wouldn't this be considered a personal attack? Sounds like passive agressive is, in your opinion, a better and more creative method.
A quick swat on the behind brings the attention right back to where it's supposed to be. Spanking has it's place.
I'm not creative just consistent and firm... seems to work so far.
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you are so right about that
Which means, I take away the things they really really like. In our case, it's Wii and ds. It could be something else for your kids. I also believe in time-outs, especially for little kids, minutes based on age (5yr-5min), since they need to sit quietly and ponder. 
