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I am so glad people are being HONEST in this discussion!
Miasmommy-Just curious... since you find it strange about males taking more female roles...I guess you wouldn't like a male teacher for your child, or a male nurse? Those are traditionally female jobs. Now, I know that really doesn't have to do with babysitting its just that you brought up traditional MALE roles. Just wanted your take on it.
Some of you have brought up the point that males could possibly molest your child if they were babysitting.
This statement really bothers me because yes I realize statistically males molest more than females,but FEMALES do it also. I think you just need to be cautious of ANYONE that has access to your child.
The topic is going right where I felt it would . No matter what people will still feel males SHOULDN"T watch kids and if they do they are strange, weird, etc.
Also, people DO NOT TRUST males to care for their children.
I don't believe that's true. I think most moms that I know do trust males that they know VERY well. Such as a grandfather, the child's biological dad, etc. The bottom line is that yes, both genders have the capacity to sexually exploit and molest children. But the fact is that males do it PREDOMINANTLY more than females. And until men and boys stand up and fight against abuse against children the way women have historically done, I don't trust the average teenage boy to babysit my male children.
I wouldn't hire a male babysitter, but then again i don't use sitters, because theirs a risk with ANYONE you dont know well.
In my home I'd rather be safe then sorry so ONLY family (grandma and aunts) has watched my children. I doubt I'll ever use an unrelated sitter.
. I find it strange when a boy/man wants to work with children. I'm sorry, that is just how I feel.
I find it strange whenever a woman has a higher-up position in the work-place.
I'm not entirely making fun of you or anything, just sayin'. Because I have a penis I can't like to work with kids now and then? Like I said, I love taking care of my girlfriend's nephew and niece. He's at the age where he mimics everything that you do, so it's easy to teach him cool stuff, and correct bad habits. It's generally fun, and I'm looking forward to being a father and teaching my kids things.
So in your line of thinking, is that wrong? Is it OK for a father to sometimes anticipate hanging out at home with their child sometimes, or being proud as he ages and becomes a better person?
Sure it's creepy if the person is obsessed with kids, but that's creepy if youre a man or a woman.
Location: Stuck on the East Coast, hoping to head West
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I have three sons. I've used both male and female caregivers. I much prefer males to females. At first, my friends gave me odd looks for picking the teen boy over the girl, but of those who tried, they were happy and saw my point. My oldest son occasionally takes care of kids and he is quite in demand--to the point where he holds out for the families who pay the most/have the nicest kids. And if they seem at all uncomfortable or hesitant, I won't allow my son over their house. Period. And there have been a few who were uneasy and then tried to call him up after hearing the other parents rave about him. Nope. No way. Lost your chance.
I think boys do get a bum rap and I don't think it is at all deserved. I think overall that boys are underappreciated and misunderstood. So to all of you who will always pick the girl over the boy--good luck with that. But I'm telling you, you are missing out on some interaction with great kids.
I find it strange whenever a woman has a higher-up position in the work-place.
I'm not entirely making fun of you or anything, just sayin'. Because I have a penis I can't like to work with kids now and then? Like I said, I love taking care of my girlfriend's nephew and niece. He's at the age where he mimics everything that you do, so it's easy to teach him cool stuff, and correct bad habits. It's generally fun, and I'm looking forward to being a father and teaching my kids things.
So in your line of thinking, is that wrong? Is it OK for a father to sometimes anticipate hanging out at home with their child sometimes, or being proud as he ages and becomes a better person?
Sure it's creepy if the person is obsessed with kids, but that's creepy if youre a man or a woman.
Well, it's weird to me if a woman has a higher up position, wants to be treated equally to men AND expects the man to pay for dates and open doors. Women want it all, and no one can have it all.
And no, it is not strange necessarily for a MAN to want to spend time with a family members kids!
Yes, it is weird (In my eyes, not stating facts, mere feelings and opinions) when a man would want to spend time with children that are not part of his family. Strange also when you often want to spend ALOT of time with them.
This whole thread makes me uncomfortable.
It is up to the parent, as stated before. No one can take your preferences away. I respect each parents' opinion!
BUT I WILL NEVER ALLOW A MAN OTHER THAN MY FATHERS, HER FATHER, HER UNCLES AND MAYBE A COUSIN. NOT SURE YET, STILL YOUNG.
A more important question is: Are the people watching your children CPR certified, or at least know how to do it? Could they perform First Aid if needed? Background checks? Do you have cameras in your home?
AS stated before: I personally will never leave my children with "babysitters" that are not related to me
I think boys do get a bum rap and I don't think it is at all deserved. I think overall that boys are underappreciated and misunderstood. So to all of you who will always pick the girl over the boy--good luck with that. But I'm telling you, you are missing out on some interaction with great kids.
I'm one of the ones who would be leery about a boy watching my daughters, but I agree with you that boys do get a bum rap. And like somebody else pointed out-I am totally aware of the higher incidences of girls being abused by male FAMILY members-so I include my family in my hesitations. It's just sad that that even has to be a thought when trying to find a good sitter. Do you think you would think differently if you had daughters instead of sons? Not trying to be arguementative-just curious. I think if I had sons, I would be more likely to want to try to find a boy sitter-I know the boys I sat for would have loved to have somebody there who knew how to throw a football
Location: Stuck on the East Coast, hoping to head West
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Quote:
Originally Posted by regarese
I'm one of the ones who would be leery about a boy watching my daughters, but I agree with you that boys do get a bum rap. And like somebody else pointed out-I am totally aware of the higher incidences of girls being abused by male FAMILY members-so I include my family in my hesitations. It's just sad that that even has to be a thought when trying to find a good sitter. Do you think you would think differently if you had daughters instead of sons? Not trying to be arguementative-just curious. I think if I had sons, I would be more likely to want to try to find a boy sitter-I know the boys I sat for would have loved to have somebody there who knew how to throw a football
You know, I don't know if I would think differently if I had girls or not. But I do know this: I'm very aware of people's perceptions of boys. I only let my son care for kids when I know the family very well and know that they genuinely like/trust/respect my son. He usually cares for my next door neighbors' boys on a very irregular basis and he watches kids in the church nursery to earn his community hours for school. He doesn't actually search out babysitting jobs. He's a kid looking to earn money so he's just as likely to rake leaves/care for pets/ as he is to babysit. To tell you the truth, he usually does it and plays with the kids--xbox, football, etc. I don't think he even thinks of it as "babysitting".
I would not use a male babysitter other than family (or in a very select few cases, the husband of a very close friend), but I also have not used a female babysitter other than a close friend or family member. I could see myself possibly hiring an older teenage girl for a short period of time, but no, I would not hire a teenage boy for any length of time.
Location: Stuck on the East Coast, hoping to head West
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Wow. This whole thread is truly one of the most depressing I've read on this board. Not trusting males with kids.
Wow.
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